Be My Forever

Bitter

TAke a look at ➡⬆⬆Zhang Yifan⬆⬆➡

Samantha's POV:

"Maa, I'm fine... Don't worry!" I've been repeating the same sentence for the past 20 minutes, but my mum doesn't sound convinced.

"Sammy, a mother knows the best and all these miles are immaterial and I can still figure out what's going on inside you"

She can't possibly do that right?

"Maa, I'm good. Stop worrying about me. If something's really wrong, I'll let you know first, OK?"

She nodded slowly and I can tell you that she's not convinced with my answer. But, I can't tell her all about Ben and Zhang and the drama that's been happening in my life lately for that matter. If something ever happens like that, a) I'll be extradicted to India and b) I'll be homeprisoned.

No, they are not my options but the order in which things might happen if my parents comes to know about Ben and/or Zhang.

"Alright, I'll Skype you again on... Monday?"

I nodded my yes.

"Bye. Learn well and take care"

See, first comes "learn well" and then follows "take care". Something only Indian parents could do it (no offense).

"Yeah, Bye!" With that, I turned off my laptop and fell backwards on my bed.

Don't y'all find it strange that we didn't exchange I-Love-You's in the end? Well, my family totally dreads that tiny, mono-syllable, four-lettered foreign word. And the funny thing is that I'm actually in love.

I tried to sleep but couldn't. When you're awake at 4 in the morning, you're either in love or lonely and I don't know which is worse. Because, for the past two weeks I'm not myself. I reduced my social contact; I don't remember when I had a proper meal lately and I don't think I'd slept for more than 50 minutes everyday. My mind is always occupied with one thought and that is about Benedict.

The one you love and the one who loves you are never, ever the same person and that is a universal fact.

••••

And, the sun rose up again. Another excruciating day to while away. I don't find weekends to be entertaining anymore.

I don't know what to do with Zhang. Sometimes, I pick up my phone to give him a ring, but I have no words to tell him. I can't act like nothing's ever happened between us. I feel guilty for turning him down and I'm frustrated about the things with Ben. Somebody knocked at my door, snapping me back to the ugly reality.

"What's up, friend!?" Payal chimmed as she made her way into my living room.

I rolled my eyes and went inside my bedroom. I threw myself on the bed and pulled a blanket over me to take a nap. I'm "trying" to take a nap, OK?

"Hey!" Payal removed the blanket off me forcefully.

"What is wrong with you?!" I yelled at her.

"Where are your manners? Haven't you read Athithi Devo Bava?!"

***Meaning:

'The guest is equivalent to God' or 'Be one for whom the guest is God' is a Sanskrit verse, taken from an ancient Hindu scripture which became part of the "code of conduct" for Hindu society.***

"Firstly, you're not a guest but a pain in my ass and secondly, I'm not in a good mood, so fuck off!" I hissed at her and went back to my trying-to-sleep-stunt. She started laughing out loud like a maniac.