"Kya confess karna hai tumhe?? Tumne meri diary pad li kya?",I asked in a hurry.
Diary is something very dear to me...
"Nhi , mera dimag kharab nhi hai jo tumhari diary padun..."
"Toh kya mere ex se baat ki?"
"You dated someone?"
"Nevermind".
Okay, I never told this to anyone, but I actually dated someone for 3 months during my initial college days.
"Yaar tum batao na!! Kya confess karna chahte ho?"
He sighed and looked down at his feet .
I was observing his face expression.
What is he upto? Kya chal kya rha hai iske dimag mein??
He again asked ," Tum pakka mujhse dosti nhi todogi na??"
Okay, I am fed up now.
"Tum na rehne do...ye lo apna stole and I am leaving", I huffed and started removing the stole when he hurriedly held my hands in his and said," yaar please aisa mat karo!! Please!! I seriously don't want to loose you!!", he literally begged and I was again lost in his dark brown chocolatey orbs....
He held my hands closed to his chest. We were a little bit more closer now.
We realized that we were actually not in a very friend wali postion and he quickly left my hands. We straightened ourselves and I said ," Accha ab time waste na karo aur jaldi se batao....kya baat hai?"
He cleared his throat and said ," See before I began , I want to make one thing very much clear that I am not a bad guy and please yaar mujhe judge mat karna... please".
"Arey prabhu I won't judge you okay? Kanha ki kasam I won't judge you"
He took a deep breath and said ," Actually vo, kaafi dino se I ....I was thinking...umm..."
I suddenly got up from the bench and said," Rehne do beta tumse na ho payega!!",I was about to move away when I suddenly felt a pull and next moment, I landed on the bench again, as Nitin held and my hand and pulled me closer and said ," Please madam, thoda sa sabra kar lijiye!! Kaun si train chuti ja rhi hai ??"
I sighed and said ," Thik, ab chehkiye.."
He again took a deep breath and with his eyes again fixed at the eternity he began," Khuch dino se , I started experiencing some changes in me. I know ki ye galat hai, but I don't know why, but I started imaging you. Tumhare sapne ane lage. I was attracted towards you.
I don't know but jab bhi tumhe dekhta tha, man karta tha ki ek baar kas kar gale laga lun.
I would always imagine you in saari, and all those traditional wear......Tum bilkul simple ho yet, you made me mad. I don't know why I became crazy about you.
Isliye khuch dino tak tumse dur rehne ki koshish karta tha. Ye jo khuch bhi mere dimag mein chalta tha, our hugs, cuddles and kisses, they were just driving me crazy!!
And then uss din, sahi mein uss din saari limits cross ho gai thi. Unhi vahiyat, bekar fantasies ki wajah se I touched you....
Baad mein jab tumne mujhe data tab mujhe ehsaas hua ki reality aur imagination mein kitna fark hai....just because of my stupid fantasies, I started behaving as if I own you...aur jab tumne mujhe data aur aina dikhaya , tab samajh mein aya ki saari galti meri aur mere dimag mein chal re fitoor ki thi.
Pta nhi kyun main tumhe dekhte hi resist nhi kar pata tha.
Mere andar itna zyada guilt agya tha...samajh mein nhi arha tha ki tumse maafi kaise magoon. Varsha I am really sorry. Tumhari kabhi koi galti nhi thi, vo sab mere dimag ka fitoor tha. I am really sorry Varsha. Main promise karta hoon ki dobara aisa khuch bhi nhi karunga jisse tumhe hurt ho. I am sorry"
And the very next moment, I was engulfed in a bone crushing hug.
With all might and may, I shoved me, in order to free my self and gasped for some fresh air. He looked at me with a shocked expression and I shouted ," Idiot!! Last time lab nahaye the?? Kitni gandi smell arhi hai !!! Meri jaan lene ka irada hai kya?"
He frowned and said ," Main har roz nahata hoon!! Khuch bhi mat bolo", and he sniffed himself and next moment he also coughed and said ," Ohh haan ye sweater to purana hai...pichle ek mahine se yahi pehen rha hoon!"
I just gave him an "unbelievable"look.
This guy is seriously impossible...
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Dear Diary, Aaj ka din kaafi happening rha.. aaj maine Charlie ki zindagi ka aisa sach jana jise sun kar main dang reh gai.
Ek time tha, when he was in love with someone, but she left him heartbroken.
I felt bad for him.
Accha aaj Charlie ne ek aur baat mujhe batai, sunne mein ajeeb lagta hai, but he actually used to think about me in a sort of romantic way. That's something least expected.
He was guilty. Guilty for his actions and for his fantasies, that's way he gifted me a blue stole.
Vaise I have decided ki main jald hi Charlie ko I Love You bol dungi.
Sach bolun to ab usse ye baat chipane ka man nhi kar rha .
Dekhte hain vo aage kaise react karta hai...
Varsha Sinha...
************************* ( Same evening, after dinner)
I sighed as I closed the diary and stretched myself.
Then I sprang in my bed and fixed my gaze on the ceiling.
A small smile crept ony lips as I recalled today's events.
Worth remembering.
Today I realized that even he is vulnerable.
That side of him gave me a new exposure.
Don't know what is stored for us in the future, but right now I only want to live this present....thats it....
