Hidden Girl

39- I Miss You

Sebastian and I walk into my room and it's a complete mess.

My clothes are thrown everywhere and I still have music playing.

"Sorry," I tell him as I walk over to my stereo and turn it off. "It's on all the time now to-"

"-Fill in the pain," he finishes with a sad look on his face. "You've been playing music nonstop to cover up the pain you've been feeling."

I nod my head and we both go and plop down on my bed.

"Okay um so," Sebastian starts a little nervously, "I asked Alex that if he could play you one song, what would it be? And he decided to just send me it and it's him, Derek, and Eric playing a song that he dedicated to you. I was wondering if you wanted to hear it . . ."

I nod my head, my whole body feeling numb. Does Alex actually care about me enough to send me a song? I think he still cares, but I would've expected him to move on a little faster than this.

Sebastian pulls out a CD case from his backpack and hands it to me.

I open it up and someone wrote on the CD in Sharpie. I can tell it's Alex's handwriting and I stare at the words for a couple seconds. "This is everything I didn't say," I read quietly to myself.

"That's not actually the song in it," Sebastian tells me as I stare down at it. "He must have figured out I was going to show it to you so he wrote that on it. He must have really wanted you to know that."

"Just play it," I croak out, not really sure if I want to. Sebastian takes the CD from my hands and puts it into the stereo. We sit on the bed so that I'm in between his legs, just like how Alex and I used to sit. He wraps his arms around me and holds me close; fearful for how this is going to end.

Alex's voice floods my ears and I immediately regret listening to this.

"He really does sound like an angel," I whisper to myself as I shut my eyes and listen to the familiar song.

Hello there, the angel from my nightmare
The shadow in the background of the morgue
The unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley
We can live like Jack and Sally if we want
Where you can always find me
We'll have Halloween on Christmas
And in the night we'll wish this never ends
We'll wish this never ends

Alex sings the chorus by himself and it breaks my heart to hear the sadness in his voice.

Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (I miss you, I miss you)
Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (I miss you, I miss you)

I turn my face over and cry into Sebastian's chest.

"I hate him!" I scream into his chest. "It is all his fault that I feel like this!"

Instead of replying, he rubs my back and soothes me. I feel exhausted, just like I always do when Alex isn't around.

...---...

I wake up alone, even though I swear that I fell asleep in Sebastian's arms. I crawl out of bed and freeze before I decide to leave the room. I lean against the stereo and press play one more time. His voice floods my ears and instead of yelling at him, I let his voice calm me, just like it always has.

"We're not letting you stay here."

I look up to see Sebastian standing in the doorway.

"I'm going back to New York in a month and I'm taking you with me," he states firmly. "Can you last that long?"

I nod my head.

"Do you think he'll hate me?" I ask him quietly as I screw my eyes shut at the thought of seeing him again.

He shakes his head. "He'll never hate you. We just can't keep you here. You're slowly killing yourself over here. Your mom agreed and you'll stay at Azalea's."

"Did you ask her?" I ask him.

"Yeah," Sebastian replies with a smile. "She's on the phone with your mom. She wants to talk to you."

With a smile for talking to my friend again, I hop up and walk into the kitchen with Sebastian. Mom smiles and hands me the phone from her hands.

"Hello?"

"Okay so my dad bought a art gallery next to one of his restaurants because, well he wanted to I guess. He's been trying to find an artist and decided to have a younger one. He walked into your art room the other day. He's already moved all of your paintings into the gallery or in the room in the back," Azalea says so fast that it's hard to keep up. "He has given you a gallery and he wants you to get over her as fast as you can so we can have an opening and you can make your own art to sell!"

"Please tell me you're not joking," I say with a big smile on my face. I can't believe this is happening.

"It's happening!" Azalea screams through the phone.

"MOM, I HAVE A GALLERY!" I scream as Sebastian and my mom look at me with big smiles and laughs. "CAN I HAVE IT?!?!?!"

Mom smiles and nods her head quickly. "When does he want me over?"

"As soon as possible," Azalea says excitedly. "We'll figure out the details soon."

"I can do that," I reply, but a fear in the back of my head of Alex.