Hidden Girl

32- New Years Eve

I walk around Azalea's house, filled with rich people. I fit in with my dark purple dress that touches the floor. We got one with long sleeves made of lace to cover up the scars that are slowly healing. We attacked my face with makeup to cover up the bruise that's fading and the cut.

I talk to Sebastian for most of it since he doesn't want to talk to anyone either. Alex floats through the party, looking amazing in the same suit he wore Christmas Eve. It makes my heart flutter every time I see him, until I remember he won't even talk to me, let alone even acknowledge my presence.

"I'm gonna head up stairs," I whisper to Sebastian. "I can't be in the same room as him like this."

Sebastian nods his head in understanding. I sneak my way to the stairs and head up, trying not to trip over my heels. I slip them off when I reach my room.

I change into Alex's hoodie and spandex, the only thing I wear these days. I wipe off all the makeup, not wanting to feel like I have a cake on my face anymore. I grab a blanket from the floor and open the window.

Outside of my window there is a fairly flat roof. I brush off all the snow and set the blanket down. I don't bother to shut the window, and I just lay out on the blanket, watching the stars. I welcome the cold, hopeful that it will numb the pain.

I begin to lose track of time and Azalea comes up.

"I thought you might need this," she tells me as she hands me a bottle of champagne and two glasses. "My mom knows all about it and made me send this up. She doesn't mind. She knows you need it."

"Thanks." I smile at her and she leaves me alone again.

I yawn numerous times but I don't dare sleep. I haven't been sleeping and I don't like to anymore with the nightmares that come along with sleep.

I pour the champagne into one of the glasses so I feel a little bit more proper then downing it out of the bottle. I set the other glass on the shelf as I consume my fourth glass, not caring anymore.

I just wish he would talk to me. We could talk about this. He didn't have to storm out of the room that day without a real explanation from me.

I hear the door open but I don't bother turning around. I hear them walk across the room and they climb out of the window. They sit down next to me, and I finally sit up to see it's Alex. He doesn't have his jacket on anymore and he looks tired.

"Are you okay?" he asks me, like nothing has happened between us.

"Just dandy." I laugh as I fill up my glass again.

"I'm sorry . . ." he says quietly as he looks out across the city in front of us.

"You act like it's been easy not having you with me," I tell him as I drink some more, getting mad at him for thinking a sorry is going to fix this. "It's been hell not having you here."

"It hasn't been much better for me either," he sighs. "What happened that made you look like this?"

He looks right at the scars on my face and I know I need to tell him.

"I came to get my stuff," I say. "He got to me right away. He hurt me and never stopped. He was laughing and smiling at me."

"I should've-"

"He destroyed my life in more ways than you can imagine," I tell him. "My childhood? Gone. Tennage years? Gone. All of my art that I put my heart into? Gone. Destroyed."

"I didn't- I didn't know..."

I simply shrug my shoulders. "I just wish I could've saved the art."

"Pour me a glass," he says and I do so as I refill mine. We finish our drinks in silence and when we are done, we both set ours on the windowsill.

Alex scoops me up and sets me in between his legs, with my legs bent over his and his arm supporting my back. I feel like I'm being held like how you would hold a child, well except that my butt was on the ground so I was technically not being carried, but I could care less how he held me; just as long as he held me.

"I'm done being like this with you," Alex admits.

"Same here," I say. "I hated it and I don't want to ever be like that again."

"So we now agree that we tell each other everything that happens?"

"Yeah," I agree. We just stare at each other for awhile, basking in the moment that we are back together.

"You look beautiful tonight," Alex tells me and I swear his face is a little bit closer to mine.

"Only because I'm wearing your hoodie," I laugh at him, but it dies down when I'm sure that his head is slowly coming closer, but I don't back away.

"Could be that," he says quietly, our faces inches apart now.

I hear a beeping noise and Alex leans back and pulls his phone out. It was an alarm, marking the New Year.

We hear yelling from downstairs and numerous people screaming,"KISS! KISS!" Alex begins to lean in closer as the phone slips back into his pocket. A cold wind blows, moving my hair out of the way and rustling Alex's. His eyes look like the most beautiful thing I have ever seen and I can't tear my eyes from him.

Our noses practically touch, but neither of us move. He looks right into my eyes and I nod my head.

"What the hell," Alex mutters right before our lips connect.

We move slow, but then begin to move so fast that most people would think was too fast for only teenagers who don't even know if they like each other, but we don't care. Alex easily scoops me up again into his lap and I wrap my legs around him. We know each other's bodies so well that we easily slide our hands; mine to his chest and his into my hair.

I begin to get more and more comfortable with this and my hands end up playing with his small curls. His hands slide under my hoodie, giving me goose bumps with his hands on my bare skin.

We begin to pull apart numerous times, knowing that this is wrong. But we immediately lose the feeling that the other one gives us, and we dive right back into it. I don't know how long I was kissing Alex, and I didn't care. We kissed each other as if we have both been waiting to do this for the longest time, and I felt like I had been.

Alex's mouth moves down to my neck, and I immediately know that he's going to leave some marks, and I don't dare stop him.

We finally pull apart and our foreheads lean against each other.

"What the hell was that?" I ask in between breaths.

"I have no idea, but Sebastian was right." Alex smiles, making my heart continue to beat 100 miles per hour. "You are a great kisser."

"Don't tell Sebastian, but you were better," I laugh and he laughs too.

Alex moves me again so that I am in between his legs, leaning up against his chest. I'm a little bit annoyed that we dismiss the kiss just like that, but we both know that it meant nothing. I have been drinking, so that was probably the only reason we would've done that.

"But I can see the stars from America. I wonder, do you see them too?" I say randomly and Alex just stares down at me and laughs as he plays with my hair, twirling it around his finger.

"Why do you have posters in your to bands that I've never heard you listen to?" I ask, meaning the posters of those classic bands like Pink Floyd in his room.

"My dad introduced me to them," he says. "He taught me to play guitar too. Those were our bands. After he left, well I can't bring myself to listen to them."

"That's completely fine," I tell him as we relax again. I can tell he's happy that he got that off of his chest too.

I yawn big and realize how tired I really am. I stare up at the stars with Alex, thinking about the kiss and how much I really liked it and I'm not sure why.