Ablaze (after the Mockingjay) ON HOLD

CHAPTER 10:

"What's this?" Josie asks when I show her the book.

"Your father and I made this a long time ago. It is to remember the people we know who died. I figured you were old enough to appreciate it now." I say.

She says, "I guess so." I lay the book on my lap and feel the cool, brown leather cover. I trace the embroidered title that reads 'Memories'. I open the book to the first page. There is a picture of my father and a caption that I wrote. Josie reads it. "He had a voice that made the birds stop to listen. Is this your dad? He was killed in that mine explosion?"

"Yes, when I was about your age." I say. Again, I think what it would be like to lose Peeta. Would I black out like my mother did? Could Josie and Rye survive like I did? I think about this as she reads about Peeta's family.

Next is Rue. Josie reads, "Not just my friend, an ally. She was so beautiful. I couldn't save her. Was she in the hunger games with you?"

"Yes the first one." I tell. I kick myself when I realized I've said too much. She doesn't know Peeta and I were in two. I figure she's too young to grasp our whole hunger games story.

"The first one?" Josie asks.

Should I tell? I suppose I should. "Once your dad and I finished our first game President Snow was mad at us because of the berries-- you know that story right?" She nods. I continue, "There was another in which existing victors were reaped. Me and Dad were in it. The whole game was a plan that Snow, Dad, and I didn't know. Most of us escaped in the war started."

She gives me a confused look and starts reading again. "Thresh. He saved my life. Wait! Thresh is Rye's middle name! Hey, and Rue is mine."

"Yeah, that was my way of honoring them." We read past Mags, Wiress, Peeta's family, the morphling that saved Peeta's life, Boggs, and most of squad 451. Then we're at Finnick.

"Finnick's courage will never be forgotten. He saved or lives more than once. We'll never be able to express our gratitude enough. Oh, he's Trent' s dad?"

I manage to say "Yes darling." without crying.

Then she gets to Prim. "Ok, this is Aunt Prim. She is so pretty!"

"Wasn't she," I agree, "She kinda looks like you."

Josie shakes her head 'no' and reads "Tuck in your tail little duck." She gives me a questioning look.

I simply say "Inside joke." She finally gets to the page Haymitch made in rememberence of all the tributes from all the games and we're done. I silently . I silently congratulate myself for not crying, even though I may have choked up a bit. Then she yawns and says "Thanks for reading that book with me. I'm going to bed." I kiss her on the cheek and she walks down the hall and says "Hey Daddy!" to a potted plant. I raise my eyebrows but, then realize Peeta was hiding next to it. He stands up blushing because he was caught.

"Were you listening to us read?" I ask. He nods his head in reply.

He walks toward me and says "I'm shocked you did that." I smile. "But, I'm so glad you did! I told you, Katniss, that you were going to be a great parent. You are."

"You're not too bad yourself." I say and smirk. I go in for a hug but, just then the doorbell rings. I think to myself who it would be. Then I remember. "Mother!" I scream at Peeta. I totally forgot! She was coming to Effie's wedding tomorrow. And I told her she could stay at our house for the night. I place pillows on the couch frantically. Then adjust my braid that barely looks like a braid anymore and run to the door. I open and my mom steps in. I apologize for the messy house but, she says she doesn't care. Then she hugs me.

Peeta says "Mrs. Everdeen, can I help you with your bag."

My mom then shouts, "Peeta Mellark! You have been married to my daughter for how long? And you still don't call me mom!" Peeta smiles. Then Mom asks "Where are the kids?"

I tell her "They're upstairs sleeping."

Then I hear a shout from upstairs. "No we're not!" Josie and Rye scream in unison. They run down the stairs.

My mom greets them and hands them a bag of candy. "Just what you two need!" I tease. They run to the table and Peeta and Mom follow. I decide it's the perfect time to sneak upstairs and get Mom's room ready. I grab her bag and bring it to Josie' s room. Since I totally forgot about my mom's visit I haven't prepared a room for her to stay in. She will sleep in Josie' s room. And Josie will sleep with Rye in his. I hurriedly change Josie' s sheets and pick up the dirty laundry that was on the floor. I neatly put Mom's bag against the wall.

Then, I see it. On Josies' s dresser there is a pink diary. There's no lock on it. So, even though I know it's terrible, I open it. The page I land on reads "Today I read a book Mom and Dad made. It's to remember the dead." She must have just wrote this. I should stop reading but I can't. "I learned about Trent' s dad, Aunt Prim, Grandpa Everdeen, and Grandma and Grandpa Mellark. I learned where me and Ryes' s middle name came from. Mom said something about two games. I don't know what she means but, I'll wait for her to tell me. I gotta go Grandma's here!" I read more. I flip back a few pages. The date is the date of Gale' s election. I skim through her talking about the Capitol. I stop when I see the word 'Aunt Prim'. I read "Then my mom told me about her sister, Aunt Prim. My aunt died frim a bomb. I don't know why someone would want to kill a bunch of kids. That made Mom cry but, Dad made us hot chocolate to calm her down. I went to bed.Then my mom woke me up. She was screaming. Probably another bad nightmare. That's when I decided to write this. She just calmed down." So, she does know abot my nightmares! Why hasn't she said anything? I should go downstairs they probaby wonder where I am.

I walk down the stairs. I let my fingers run against the green walls. I stop when I get to the three picture frames. The first one is Josie. The second is Peeta and I. The third is Rye. I straighten his because I think it's crooked. When I sit at the table. Peeta asks, "So, how's the new job?" My mom works in district 4's hospital.

She replies, "It's alright. It's a distraction from...stuff." Stuff. I know what she means by that. It's a distraction from grieving. I nod my head and we talk some more. Then we all go to bed.

I lay in bed thinking about Gale, Haymitch, and everything else. Peeta is on his side, asleep. I accept it's going to be yet another restless night. So I walk to my dresser and pull out the pearl. The pearl that Peeta gave me in the Quarter Quell. It stays in my pocket during the day, and my drawer during the night. I roll it around in my fingers and think about what would happen if there were more hunger games. Peeta startles me when he screams "You kept it?" I guess he wasn't asleep.

"Shh, of course I did." I say with a kiss. He turns on the light, takes the pearl from my hand, and examines it. Then he gives it back.

"You better get some sleep." he says and turns off the light. I place the pearl on my dresser and drift off to sleep. Mutts and dead mockingjays scream in my nightmares tonight.