BECAUSE IT WAS YOU

Chapter 13

You see, before I knew that Jayden and I were dorm neighbours, things were different. Ever since I found out, however, the feeling has been weird.

I can't quite put my finger on it. But, the thought of running in to him whenever I head outside is disturbing.
I don't know if "Disturbing" is the right word.
It is definitely weird and awkward for all I know.

But since we didn't run into each other over the last few days, I guess that won't be much of a problem.

On my way to the shower, and when leaving for class, I run a little secretly in order to make sure I wouldn't bump into him. With Chris looking at me like I'm crazy.

"I don't understand! You're being so weird. Gradually you'll anyways run into him. Right?" she'd go on.

"I can try my best to avoid it though. Right???" although, I'm not sure why I'm even attempting to be discreet in the first place.

Is it because of all the bad blood between the two of us? Or is it because the previous night was much more different than all the other days before?

I did not know, and I figured it would be best not to try and think of it.
Not right now!

Having successfully avoided running into Jayden, I head to class directly.
The class he takes as well...

"Emma! Hi!" Emmanuel yells as he approaches me from behind.

"Hey! Was wondering who would yell my name in the halls."
Not like there's a list of guys who'd yell my name.

The two of us walk into class.
And oh-so-obviously we run into Jayden.
Technically, given yesterday's nice bonding I expected a much nicer expression on his face.
A greeting perhaps?

As his eyes met Emmanuel and he instantly moved his glance to me, I felt the usual hateful feeling.

You'd think after bonding with a person the day before, the present day would be nice. Not to forget, it was quite some bonding. He shared with me episodes of his personal life. If that wasn't bonding, I don't know what is.

"Hey!" I can barely hear my own voice. But I know he heard it. He saw it.

Yet again, he shakes his head with what looks like frustration and walks away.

"You guys cool?" Emmanuel asks me.
Which is weird considering the fact that Jayden was never nice to me around Emmanuel.
I choose to simply shrug and take my seat.

During the entire class, I wondered what went wrong, where. Is it something I said last night?
But then again, even after our first encounter when I ran into him at the cabin, he went back to being the usual Jayden the very next day. The Jayden he was now, whenever someone else was around.

This is probably why Ash was surprised to see Jayden helping me last night?

When the session ends, Emmanuel heads to the library and I head outside (I don't spot Jayden anywhere inside lecture hall) hoping to relax a bit.

While walking towards the only available bench under the tree, a guy riding his bicycle races in front of me.
I knew I had to move, but I was on pause for a while, almost as if I were waiting for him to hit me with his bike.

Someone drags me back by my arm so quick, like it never even happened.
I turn back instantly, wondering what the hell had just happened.

"Jayden?" I find my voice.

"Are you okay?" he doesn't just sound worried, he looks honestly worried.

"What? That? Yes!! I'm totally fine." I clear my throat hoping to conceal my embarrassment .

"What were you thinking just standing there like an idiot?" he raises his voice a bit.

"I- I don't know." I honestly don't.
I could answer him with something like I couldn't move or I didn't know what to do or I couldn't think.
But that would make me look dumber than I already did.

"What do you mean you don't know?!" he sounds angry.
Very angry.

"Why are you shouting at me?" I ask him, noticing a few faces watching as they passed by.

But him shouting at me was much more painful than the embarrassment. Him being rude to me or being barely tolerable was still by far tolerable than this.

I couldn't understand if it was because for the first time he was actually mad at me. Or because deep down inside it was evident to me that he wasn't mad mad, he was worried.

He looks around us and probably realises he was being too harsh.

"I'm sorry Emma. I was just worried." his voice softens.

I look up, and notice that look again. The look of worry, the one that had been a constant even he shouted at me. The one look he had on his face when he came running to look for me in the rain last night.
The Jayden he was, when he was with me alone.

"I know." I nod my head.