BECAUSE IT WAS YOU

Chapter 11

I was most certainly eager to find out about what could possibly make a person be so against love. Although, it was also a different feeling. Something very different, to have him share his personal life stories with me.

"My parents got divorced. Good old mom left us by ourselves. Jeremy, my brother was a sophomore here at the time. After the divorce, he left too. He said he needed time. It's only me and my dad here. And, this place? Jeremy said, if I went here, we could have our own cabin in the woods. It was a pact we made as kids. He did make it work. Only, he left." he finishes.

I'm left shocked. I try not to let it show. But he obviously took me by surprise. I would never have guessed that he had so much going on.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know." I feel guilty for all the arguments we've had. Because I was trying to prove a point, which he like anyone else would, believes to be real life evidence. Evidence to prove me wrong.

"Now you know why I don't believe in love." he says. "A mother's love, sibling love, family love, none of this is real. If love between lovers were real, then why do people go separate ways all the time. Why do they grow out of love?'

"Jayden, I know I was trying to prove you wrong all along. I was so annoyed by your false beliefs, and so I debated with everything I had, all what I knew." I explain. "But I'd be lying if I said that all relationships didn't have ups and downs. Falling in love is probably one of the most beautiful things about life. But when you love a stranger, or someone you've known for years, falling out of love is possible."

"That would mean love isn't real."

"No. It does not mean that. It just means that you want different things. Depending on our needs and wants, love changes. It's a feeling. Nothing material. You can't force yourself to hold tight a feeling, an emotion. When it slips, it slips away. But not all love stories fail. If you fall out of love, being in a relationship for name sake is torture. That's why people go their own ways after years of a happy marriage. To remember the beautiful memories. To keep them in your life." I finish.

"Then what about a family?" he asks. "My mom left us. Isn't a mother's love one of the greatest things in life too?"

"Leaving you doesn't mean she doesn't love you."  I answer his question. "She might have had her own reasons. Did you ever ask her why she did what she did? Why your entire family did what they did? Just like you did what you did?"

"No." he looks down.

There goes that look again. Like a lonely, scared little puppy.

I get up from my armchair, and walk closer to him. I bend down, and uncover myself from the blanket. He looks at my face.

In order to skip anymore eye contact, I put the blanket on him as fast as I could, making sure he wouldn't notice that I was in a hurry. 

"It's your turn." I say. "You're soaked too."

I walk back to my chair, and take a seat as I grab a book from the nearby desk.

"I don't need it." he looks at me.

"Of course you don't." I shake my head.

"Have you ever been in love?" he asks me softly, with his British accent.

"No." I bite my lower lip slightly, embarrassed. After all, I am such a preacher of love without ever having been in love.

"Why do you believe in it so much then?"

"I like being optimistic." I shrug. "And I like reading about it." I show him the book in my hand.

"Of course you do." he says.

"Last time I asked you if you read any of those books." I point at the desk in the corner. "You said you read some of it. You probably forgot, but they are all romance novels." 

"I- I did not- when did I say that?" he stammers.

"It's alright to admit you like reading romance novels. You know?" 

He clears his throat. "I think we can go now. The rain has stopped." he gets up.

I giggle at the sight of him struggling.

Jayden Walker!
HA!