BECAUSE IT WAS YOU

Chapter 14

We just stand there for a while.
Now, it may have been for a few seconds, but it felt like we have been standing there for the past hour or so.
At least, it did to me.
I wonder if he feels the same way or not.

But right now his grip on my hand was starting to hurt.

Wait- he is still holding my arm from when he was trying to save me from a potential dramatic accident.

It was when I winced, that he realised he was still holding me by the arm.

"God! I'm so sorry, did that hurt?" he asks me, worried.
You wouldn't except someone to change so fast. At least I wouldn't.
It was as if he was following some weird pattern of attitude. When we meet one time, he'd be nice, when we meet the next, he'd be rude, and now, he was being nice again.
And worried. Seriously worried.
No one could fake a look like this.
Even if they could, Jayden would be the last to fake an emotion to please someone. It wasn't him.
I haven't known him for long enough to know everything about him, but I am certain that he doesn't pretend to be someone he's not just to please others.

What I did not know however, was if he pretended to be someone he wasn't just to push others away. It appeared to me as if he had been doing that a lot.
But again, maybe I misread him on the latter.

"No. That's alright." I answer.
Even though it did hurt and was a light red where he had held my hand.
But, as always, there was something that distracted me from the sort of physical pain, or any other sort of pain. Some different version of Jayden being discovered, that was it.

"Maybe you should apply something. Come with me." he takes me by the other hand, not holding tight this time.

"Stop!" I don't move after about two steps.

He turns around, to face me.
"What's wrong?"

"You're confusing me Jayden. That's what's wrong." I answer.
Finally letting it out of my head.

"How am I confusing you Emma?" he asks me, in his British accent.

"You're nice to me one second, and rude the next. Why do you keep doing that? Why??" I ask him.

"That's not true." he looks down, at the ground.

"You know it is. You told me last night that you didn't hate me. But I'm really starting to doubt it." the second it comes out of my mouth I realise that it was probably not the right thing to say.

"I don't hate you. You know I don't. I told you that last night." he looks up at me again.

"Then what is all this Jayden?" I ask him. Then I realise, "Do you not want anyone to think you're being nice to me? Is that it?"

"Why would you say that? What makes you assume I care what other people think?" he asks.

But I've had enough to be calm anymore, it wasn't intentional to sound pissed, but I did, as I responded with "Stop replying to my questions with questions! You know very well how you are rude to me in front of everyone else. Just like earlier, in front of Emmanuel."

"I don't like you being around him!" he shakes his head.

What?

"What on earth do you mean by that?"  I ask him.

"I mean, I hate to see you with him!"

"He's a friend!" I make it sound obvious. But that's not what's important, "And why? Why do you hate to see me with him?"

"I- I just do." he looks away again, lowering his tone.

"You're not making any sense." I shake my head, lowering my voice as well.
"Why would you hate it?" I want to go on and ask him, why he would hate it when we are barely friends, because I honestly got no clue if we can even be called friends at this rate. But I know that would suck. It would sound harsher than it did inside my head. By instinct, I know it's best if I didn't say it out loud.

I figure out he's not going to answer me.
"Let me know when you can answer." I take his hand off mine.
I turn around and start to walk away.

"You're different." he says. And I pause.

I turn around to face him again, a few steps before him.

"What?" I ask him, unsure.

"You're different. Different from everyone else." he says, walking up to me. "Anyone would naturally hate me for not believing in love. I know a part of you did too. And you probably still do. But, you were prepared to play with fire. Something about you is very different."

"If I'm like everyone else. How am I different?"

How???