Love, Magui (Cagayan State University #2)

#LoveMagui90

10/37
Letter#8

Hi Cj,

I just arrived in Beijing and it really feels different around here. There's a lot to think of. Ahma confiscated my things including my phone. Isang araw pa lang akong nandito pero gusto ko nang bumalik. But I can't. I have to rebuild myself. For my family and for... myself.

I'm sorry for leaving without saying a proper goodbye. Hindi ko kasi ata kaya. Apart from not having the courage to say it... I was scared too. Paano kung hindi ko pala kayang umalis? Paano kung... mas pinili kong maging makasarili? I can't just turn my back to my family. I was raised to become obedient... they expect me to be the innocent and pure youngest of the Ongpaucos.

Now that you can finally play your guitar in front of hundreds or greater than those numbers... I hope I could see you again and to hear your song that you wrote someday. Kahit na hindi para saakin... kahit na nakalimutan mo na ko. I know for two years, things will change and maybe your feelings too. You will find someone who's mature and someone who will never leave your side like what I did.

I still can't believe that the mesmerizing and incandescent Callahan James Madrid once laid his eyes on me... Na mapapansin mo ko. Dati-rati, I envy my Achi because she can talk to you that easily. Yung hindi nauutal sa bawat salitang sasabihin. Yung hindi laging nahihiya. I was really nervous when I'm around you. Especially when you constantly catch my eyes staring at you from a distance.

Not realizing that my feelings are going deeper... and wilder.

I still have those doubts, you see. I had always write these letters, thinking and hoping that the day will come I can gather my courage to give these to you. Hanggang ngayon at sa mga darating na bukas. I don't even know why I brought it with me. Or maybe I did, I just chose to refused to say it out loud. Though, I think I have to stop writing and dreaming for someone like you. No matter how much I closed my eyes to see, you are just like the stars... and stars are so far off reach.

I won't ever ask for something more. What we had is incomparable, the sunsets, the strings, and the way you talked about your dreams that made me want to grab your hand and run quickly to our tomorrows.

But there's no some other days for me anymore.

Lastly, thank you for teaching me of the things you're passionate about. Music. Guitar. A song that reminded me of dusk until dawn. Ngunit siguro hanggang doon na lang yon... siguro nga.

I may no longer see you since then, but I will never forget.

So please... don't wait for me, Cj.

Love,

Magui