Quatervois: Metanoia Book 2 // jjk [COMPLETED]

01 ▪︎ Whelve

"Damnit, Anais," Yoongi sighs, raising up to sit on the opposite side of Anais' queen sized bed.

Yoongi rests his elbows on his knees and drops his head into his large hands as he ruffles his dark hair with his fingers. He sighs again before rubbing both hands down his face.

Anais lifts herself to sitting, the struggle that it is, to yet again repeat a phrase Yoongi has grown all too accustomed to hearing.

"I'm sorry."

Yoongi holds up one hand attempting to pause her apology, but keeps his face resting in his opposite hand.

"Don't."

Anais nibbles her bottom lip, instinctively reaching for her now gone long braid. Old habits die hard, and since cutting her hair into a more fashionable short style, she has yet to remember exactly where her hair ends.

"I really am, Yoongi. I know you must be tired of-"

"Anais, I said don't."

Anais stops, automatically chewing her bottom lip again.

Yoongi doesn't turn to look at Anais as he speaks. "I know what you have been through. Don't apologize for telling me no."

"I'm sorry."

Old habits.

"I know you have talked to me about the hell your ex put you through, and I can't imagine the things you haven't said. I don't want to."

Yoongi turns to Anais who pulls back a bit when he lays one hand gently on her knee. "You never deserved any of it. I would never force myself onto you, but I wish you would realize, I am not him."

"I know that. It's just-"

"It's been seven years, Anais. Seven years since you left him. How much longer are you willing to let him have control over you?"

Anais shakes her head vigorously when Yoongi stands from her bed. "No! No, he doesn't still have control over me! I just- I would like for us to take things slow."

Yoongi hangs his head solemnly. "I understand and am fine with that, but we have been seeing each other nearly a year. You still flinch when I touch you."

Reaching for his discarded shirt, Yoongi resumes, "I think I should leave."

Anais panics. "Please, don't! Stay with me! Please!"

"Anais.."

"Wait!" She removes her sweater, dropping it to the bed beside her. She crosses one arm over her chest, and crosses the other over her stomach, still self conscious of her physical appearance.

Old habits.

"We can try again.. please?" Anais' eyes plead with Yoongi's dejected ones.

Yoongi sighs again, dropping his shoulders. "You don't really want to, and I won't be the man who returns to your bed believing so."

Anais watches Yoongi again grab his jacket and tug it on, walking from her bedroom without a glance. A few moments later, she hears the front door close, and then the sound of Yoongi's engine as he backs out of her driveway.

This is the part Anais always hates. Being alone. She doesn't do well on her own, but having no choice in the matter, she has to be.

Opening up to someone new is difficult especially after the ordeal Anais has been through. She gave her all, her every last ounce, to a man who used her fully and to all extents of the word.