𝘼 𝙗𝙚𝙖𝙪𝙩𝙞𝙛𝙪𝙡 𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙙

Sir

*smut warning*

Sue...Sue, are you alright?
Severus... yes. I just had a nightmare... you didn't see it too, did you?
No... I just felt you weren't alright
are you alright?
Yes, don't worry about me.
I can't go back to sleep now...
Do you want to talk about it?
I'm coming over
Don't you dare..
Too late Severus, too late, I'm out
I sneaked out of the common room making extra careful not to make a sound and I started walking down to Snape's chambers in the almost complete darkness if it hadn't been for the tip of my wand guiding my way thanks to the Lumos charm.
I prayed all along I wouldn't run into anyone as I was in my pajamas and I could've got myself in serious trouble for being out of bed too late at night.
His doors opened just a few seconds before I was actually behind them and I couldn't even wait for them to be completely opened I just walked in and hugged him tight around the waist. He still wasn't used to that and surely still didn't like it but he was letting me hug him anyway.
"What happened?" He said closing the door and locking it.
"It was horrible" I said.
"Do you want to tell me what that was?" He asked pushing me away from the hug so that he could look at me in the eyes.
"I... I can't really talk about it just yet" I said, my hands were shaking as well as my voice as I put the light of my wand out.
"Fine" he sat down on an armchair "come here" he said and I shyly walked over to him.
I wasn't used to his change of attitude towards me yet and every time he was nice or even sweet to me it felt odd but I was trying. "Come on, sit" he said patting on his lap.
I huddled into his lap and rested my head on his shoulder. I closed my eyes and inhaled a deep breath of his scent.
"What were you doing?" I asked noticing he was still dressed at one in the morning.
"Just some grading" he said distractedly playing with one of my curls twisting it around his finger gently and then letting it fall.
"Oh" I said now properly relaxing and feeling the warmth of his body next to mine. I looked up at him "you look tired" I said.
"I am" he replied quickly.
"I know" I said.
"Of course" he said "What are you thinking?" Severus asked me with his eyes closed while I was carefully tracing his face features with my fingers. I was still shocked that he would let me do that while I was crouched on his lap.
"What is this, a joke?" I said "don't you already know?"
"Normally yes, but I can't quite sort this out.."
"I'm trying to memorize your face" I said placing a little peck on his lips.
"Why.. why are you doing that?" He said opening his eyes.
"Because, you know... entering June the term's about to end, then there's summer, I want to be able to remember you" I said.
"Let's not think about it just now" he said.
His big hand caressed my cheek gently while he looked in my eyes.
"What?" I asked as he looked to me like he wanted to say something.
"Nothing" he shook his head moving like he wanted to stand up from the armchair.
"No" I said making sure he couldn't stand up.
"This is a dangerous game to play"
I haven't... "what's wrong?"
"It's... I'm-"
"Severus, either you tell me or you let me see-"
"No, this is not the kind of thing I want you to see" he said and he was feeling ashamed of himself.
"Do you mean because you are attracted to me... physically?!" I asked.
"We're not discussing that" he said forcing me to get off but I pointed my knees on the seat so that he couldn't move.
A different light beamed from his eyes for a second, just a flash and it was gone but it lasted enough for me to see it.
I took both his hands that had been gripping on the arms of the armchair and I intertwined my fingers with his and slowly started to place little kisses on the back of his hands.
He was following my moves with his eyes and I was looking at him trying to understand what he was feeling until I actually heard him inside my head, but he clearly wasn't aware.
Why does it have to be so difficult...
"What, what is difficult... please talk to me" I said but it definitely wasn't a good idea because he went back to the defensive attitude he always had.
"This can't happen..." he said letting go of my hands.
"What is happening, Severus? Really I don't understand what you're so worried about, shouldn't it be normal that you feel attracted to me?" I asked stepping off of the armchair because I didn't want him to feel uncomfortable around me after that.
"You are so young and I am... me" he said with a voice full of self hatred that made me understand the matter was far more complex than I had previously imagined.
"You're you and I am me... you're not perfect and I most definitely am not either... but Severus, this didn't even start as something easy..."
"I shouldn't have these thoughts about you" he said "you're too young and-"
"Severus, aren't those thoughts a part of the process? I mean you told me you had feelings for me, doesn't the attraction come with the feelings?" I asked but he still was uncertain "I am young and you are older than me, that is a fact, but I am not too young... I... have feelings for you too and, even though I haven't completely defined all of them yet, I know that I am attracted to you too" I said and I was rather freaked out about exposing myself like that but I was finally realizing there wasn't a wall I wasn't willing to climb over if that was the way to be closer to him.
As soon as I shut up he rose from his seat, pushed my chin up with the knuckle of his index finger, he indulged for a moment and then kissed me passionately, unlike any other time. He took me off guard and I had some trouble keeping up at first but I adapted easily to his pace.
We stumbled until my back collided with the wall and he picked me up, I clutched my legs behind his waist and a little moan escape my lips as he went down to kissing my neck and pressed himself on me to keep me steady against the wall. My hand shuffled through his hair and right then, he stopped. I reluctantly opened my eyes "why'd you stop?" I asked.
"I- I feel like I am taking advantage of you" he stuttered and I knew vulnerable Snape was there again... how many are there?
I chuckled, he really had no idea what taking advantage would mean "Do I look like I don't want to do this? do I look like I don't want to be here?" I asked.
He didn't answer, at least not verbally. "I am sorry, I can't get this thought out of my head" I glanced at the clock right behind him, 2 in the morning.
"Well... I have an idea" I said walking to his bedroom door, I opened it "Come..." I said.
I looked around and it was very tidy, very similar as to him. On the edge of the bed sat a perfectly folded pajama, bingo. I picked it and handed it to him "Now go, undress and get comfortable, we're going to sleep" I said with a wide smile.
"Why... Why would you stay if we're not-" I stopped him mid sentence placing my index finger on his lips.
"Hush, I don't like how that was coming out... I am not interested in that until you'll be too, until then I am only interested in sleeping, next to you, how's that sound?"
"I'll be right back" he said heading to the bathroom to change.
I sat on the edge of the bed to wait for him and noticed it was very soft, I didn't know why I felt like it had to be harder, maybe because he always seemed so rigid one would've thought he would've preferred something not this soft. I tried the pillow and nope, soft again, it was all so soft and inviting I tried laying down and the feeling of relaxation had the best of me, my eyes felt sore and I had to make an effort to keep them opened. I tried focusing on something and I spotted his wand on the nightstand. I took mine and put it beside his, they didn't look that much alike, his was black and longer and the handle was decorated with precisely carved, intricate engravings while mine was rather simple and a little shorter.
"What are you doing?" He asked with his usual inquisitive, soft voice.
"I was just... passing the time" I said putting both of our wands back on the bedside table.
"Sure..." he seemed to have regained his usual confidence "scoot" he said holding up the blankets for me.
I smiled and made room for him, he got in the bed and encircled my shoulder with his arm, I made myself comfortable into his embrace and rested my head on his chest. He turned the light off and gave me a little kiss on my forehead. Precisely that kind of small acts were the things that left me wondering, I never knew what I was going to get, a kiss or was he going to get angry? However in his arms, in that moment that, was the place where I was meant to be, it had never felt more right between us two. We had made great progress, we were able to talk without yelling at each other, he seemed to be trusting me more but nothing felt better than when we were not talking, just touching that was when we understood each other better.
Thank you for this... I haven't held someone in my arms for a long time.
Well you didn't forget how to do it.
I adjusted one last time and soon we both drifted off to sleep.
When I woke up I thought I would find him beside me but that didn't happen, I woke up to an empty bed. I got out of bed thought I'd go look for him but my research was brief as I found him scribbling something at his desk.
I leaned against the door frame, he was still in his pajama and he hadn't yet noticed I was watching so those were the few seconds of the unfiltered Severus that I could get.
"Well, good morning, is it?" He asked.
And this is a weird way of saying good morning.
"Yes, it is..." I said wondering why would he ask that.
"You had another nightmare, that's why I was asking"
"Oh... did I disturb you? I am so sorry I don't know what I did..."
"Don't panic please, it was fine, I held you closer and you calmed down..."
"Alright, sorry though, it's just I am used to that I don't even think about it when I wake up unless they are new nightmares"
"Why do you have these nightmares?" he set his quill down and came over to me.
"I have them especially when there's something that makes me anxious... you know this whole thing with my father is really messing with my head"
"You are perfectly safe, I've lost count of how many times I had to tell you"
"I know but I can't help it, I have been afraid of him since I was little, that's something I associate with his name now"I said "it's like when you're afraid of the dark because someone jumped at you in the darkness when you were a kid... that feeling won't leave you be every time you're in a dark place"
"Are you... in a dark place?"
"I... I'm fine, I just have to find a way to control my emotions" I said.
"I won't let anything happen" he said.
"I know, thank you" I said and rose on my tiptoes to give him a kiss.
He wasn't in for a sweet tiny kiss though. He pushed me back inside his bedroom and locked the door so I understood what was going to happen.
Better safe than sorry indeed.
He pushed me lightly on the bed again and I fell on it, he was now on top of me going down kissing my neck. I didn't know how just that little bit was enough to make me start to feel a certain need between my legs. I felt his erection getting stronger against my inner thigh and my hips started thrusting against his. He softly whispered in my ear "slow, we're going to take it slow alright?" I nodded as I started undoing the buttons of his pajama shirt "yes" I whispered.
"I need you to look at me the whole time okay?" He asked as he slid my shirt over my head and threw it on the floor behind him.
"Yes" I said.
He went down to my neck again and then made his way to my nipples, licking and nibbling them, I had never felt any of the things I was feeling at that moment. I moaned and made sure my gaze stayed on him as he had asked and also because I wanted to see him realize the effect he was having on me. He put his hand over my center very carefully but still unexpected and he made me gasp in surprise, that only added to my growing excitement.
He shushed me softly whispering in my ear and starting rubbing circles against my center. I moaned a little harder, he looked at me, the pleasure had had the best of me almost making me forget I had closed my eyes. He stopped.
"P-please Severus.." I let out trying to catch my breath.
"I said you have to look at me" he said.
"I am" I said looking at him.
"No more closing your eyes" he said starting to touch my sensitive spot again.
"No m-more, I promise.. ah!" I tried to say but I was then officially short of breath.
"You're so beautiful when you lose control" he growled in my ear making my arousal shoot up to levels I most certainly had never experienced.
He slid my pants and underwear down to my ankles and I stepped out of those.
I had serious trouble going against everything that called for me to shut my eyes and just feel all that.
However, eyes opened or closed, it became completely irrelevant as soon as we heard somebody vigorously knocking at the door.
He stayed very still, while I was starting to panic.
I'm tempted to pretend I'm not here
Unless you're one for strolls in the spring time you must be here on a Sunday, Severus.
You have a point.
You could use a little sun though. Maybe get the blue out of your complexion.
Stop.
He got off me and I started dressing up, or rather putting my pajamas back on and he went to handle the door. I was so angry at whoever had interrupted us, I mean I had almost made it, I had managed to make him feel comfortable enough around me. That man who trusted just about none but himself had taken a chance on me.
I still couldn't even imagine one reason why we should've been soulmates, we were completely different and that was as clear as the sun just by looking at each one of us but there we were... until we got interrupted, of course.
He came back into the room looking concerned.
"So what was that about?"
"It was Alastor Moody"
"Oh Merlin.. did he know I was here?"
"Yes" he said and my heart instantly picked up speed. That damned eye. "He said Potter is looking for you"
"He came here to tell you that?" I asked as it seemed curious.
"No, he came because Dumbledore asked to see me" he said.
"Oh... well I guess I need to go to the tower to change.."
"Or you could be a witch..." he scoffed and made clean clothes appear right in my hands. Right.
"Why are you crossed now?"
"I am just trying to figure out what he wants and if it is about us" he said "I could lose my job for this"
Us... is there a 'us' now?
"Say it was my fault... if you have to"
"What... do you have any idea what kind of punishment you'd get for this?" He looked at me like you look at someone who's not making any sense "Recurring to this won't be necessary"
"Should it be necessary..." I said starting to undress, he was taken aback and for a second fought with the desire to watch.
"Severus, I was half naked and you were kissing my neck just moments ago... don't you think we're past that?" I said at him giving me his back and he turned around to face me again even though he was trying to keep his eyes on mine.
"So, should it be necessary, don't hesitate" I said tying my shoelaces.
"I don't want to hear you suggesting I could do something like this ever again" he said "Now, go see what that insufferable boy wants"
"Severus..." I said as I reckoned he was jealous of the bond me and Harry had developed that year.
"Don't 'Severus' me, you know I am right" he said sitting on the bed.
"I don't have feelings for him, Severus. I have feelings for you and you only" I said and his expression softened a little bit.
"And I still can't understand why..." he whispered.
"You don't have to understand this, you heard Dumbledore, just let it be what it has to be..." I said caressing his cheek "plus I know we're going in the right direction"
"How's that?" He said curiously.
"Haven't you noticed? You are much less irritable, you don't risk of fainting every time you disapparate and we don't get pushed into random memories because none of us is trying to push each other out. It's like it stabilizes as long as we don't fight against it"
"Yes I had noticed that..."
"Well it's time for me to go..." I said wondering if things had taken a bad turn if I could've been able to see him again "If I don't see you after-"
"Don't talk like that" he said.
"Right" I forced a smile "it could be something else"
"Yes, it could" he said and put his hand on the back of my neck under my hair "Now go" he finally said kissing me right after. He pressed his lips against mine in a kiss that was a little too much to mean 'i'll see you later' and to chill to mean 'goodbye' betraying the fact he didn't know what to expect either.
"I'll see you again" I said more to myself than to him, he nodded.
"Go" he said after he had opened the door and looked out for anyone that might see us.
I glanced for another instant at him and then forced myself to walk out.
Come on, Sue, calm down. Just find Harry already. You'll worry about that if something actually happens.
"Harry?" I said seeing him walking in front of me.
"Hi" he said smiling "where have you been, actually?" He asked perplexed.
Oh you don't really want to know.
"You know, same old story, Snape's making me work a lot"
"Did you find out anything about your father?" He said walking beside me.
"Oh I... not really, it's not that I am looking for him. I confronted Snape though, he said he didn't know anything about him, that he hadn't heard from him in a long time..."
"I see, and you believe him?" He asked like he didn't want to make me doubt but he also couldn't believe I believed him.
"Fine, there's no need for that tone... yes, I believe him"
"You know what you're doing after all, don't you?" He said in a sarcastic tone, he wasn't one for sarcasm, it sounded completely not like him.
"Harry are you pissed at me?"
"No, why would I be..."
"Harry..." I said as I knew he knew why.
"Talk to me if you have something you want to say I'm here, Moody told me you were looking for me"
"I never told him I was looking for you"
"Can we not do this? This is weird and you haven't been the same around me since I told you about the legilimency" I lowered my voice because I didn't want anyone else to know.
"Listen... I'm sorry, I know I've been evasive, but all I keep thinking about is why you didn't tell me before" he said stopping in the middle of the hallway.
"You really can't figure it out?" I asked.
He shrugged "no idea".
"You barely trusted me, if I told you I could read every single one of your thoughts would you have trusted me? That is not exactly something people are comfortable with"
"I have always trusted you! Always!"
"You weren't the problem..."
"What do you mean?" I hesitated "Sue... one more secret and I won't be able to trust you anymore"
"I can't..."
"Why? Is it about Snape? You know something?"
"No, leave Snape alone"
"Just tell me already"
"It was Hermione, she talked to me after the first task and she was suspicious about me, she told me you didn't need me to help you anymore... I know I couldn't add legilimency to those doubts, none of you would've ever talked to me again" I said, he looked hurt and I knew I had to make it right.
"But she came to her sense eventually, Harry, just before the Yule Ball, she apologized but then again I couldn't bring myself to tell you until the other day with Si-Snuffes. I took the first good chance I got, Harry I promise, I never ever meant to hurt you"
"She did apologize... and you're okay with that?"
"Yes, of course, I understand it, I myself have believed things that I know couldn't be true but still.. let alone if I couldn't be certain... She's been very good to me ever since and I think she still feels a little guilty so she's trying to make it up to me"
"I hadn't seen this coming"
"Whatever, it's in the past, don't be mad at her because you would've done the same thing for her"
"No I would've never told you those things"
"I mean you would've done the same thing in trying to protect her if you saw someone with bad intentions getting too close to her" I said "that's all she was trying to do, protect her friend"
"Fine I won't say anything to her..." he scoffed.
"Thank you" I smiled and he forced a little smile too "are we okay, Harry?"
"Yes, we're okay" he sighed.
"Can I... oh... to hell with that" I hugged him really tight and he hugged me back.
"Now, I should go, I have to reach the quidditch field for something about the third task" he said.
"I'll walk with you, we haven't done that for a while, it's always me coming places with you, isn't it?" I said.
"Yeah that happens a lot" he chuckled "Can I ask you something?"
"You can ask me anything"
"How is it being able to read people's mind?"
"Hum... messy, for sure" I chuckled "no it's... it's something I don't like, I try to control it every second to keep out from people's thoughts but it's not always easy, sometimes I got confused, sometimes I mistakenly replied to someone's thoughts, that was very confusing in the first times. After a while my mother taught me to control this and now I can manage it pretty well."
"Was she... I mean I shouldn't ask this-"
"A death eater?" He nodded clearly embarrassed for the lack of tact of the question.
"No, she never joined, she didn't want to. He only spared her for my father... I know you-know-who isn't exactly the forgiving type but I don't know what my father had to do to make him spare my mother" I said hoping he would believe me because that was pure truth.
"I bet you're a lot like her then" he said and stopped as we had arrived where we should've parted ways.
"See you later"
"See you, it's... hum, it's good to have you back" He said walking away.
"It's good to be back..." I stopped where we had said goodbye and sat for a moment to think. He said he never told Moody he was looking for me, could he read minds too, other than seeing through walls now?
I wondered how was Severus doing with Dumbledore, if he had taken the blame or if he had put it on me like I had asked. I decided to go wait for him near Dumbledore's office.
No need, it wasn't what we were thinking
Oh I'm so relieved, where are you? I asked but then I looked around and saw him walking towards me so I did the same to shorten the distance.
"What was it about?"
"None of your concern, school business"
"School business that couldn't wait the weekend?"
"Keep your nose out of it, Miss Avery"
Alright, tell me what's wrong now, what did I do?
If you wish to hug Potter like that, at least try to avoid getting caught by a teacher.
What can you do about it? Is there a rule forbidding friends to hug at school? You know, at a certain point this whole jealousy thing you have going on with Harry has to stop.
I am not at all jealous. I am simply-
I'm telling you, you have to stop.
He took my wrist and guided me through the hallways to a tiny, dark passage so that we would be away from other's people sight as we had already been dangerously close to getting caught.
I raised my brows and shook my head "What are you doing?!"
"Shut up" he said hovering above me so close I could feel his breath.
"Severus... there's nothing between me and Harry and there will never be anything more than friendship, I will say this as many times as it takes for you to believe me but please make an effort-"
he cut me off with a kiss, in the middle of an hallway, he must've lost his mind. I kissed him back as I wasn't strong enough to say no, however I started worrying more about getting caught when he went down to kiss my neck again, I was afraid my heavy breathing would catch someone's attention.
"Stop, stop, stop" I pushed him and he backed away immediately even though the smallest smug grin I had ever seen was displayed on his face "Have you gone mental... what the..."
"You wouldn't shut up" He shrugged.
"Okay fine what the..." he raised my face with his hand under my chin "You are mine, miss Avery."
I gulped. "I never wished to be anyone else's" I said "Sir"

A/N my oh my. Sir. That's on daddy issues guys.
I'm too embarrassed to  even say anything. I always feel my writing skills aren't good enough to write this kind of chapters.
Ugh, I wish English was my first language.
Thanks for your attention 🙈 see you on the next chapter 🙃