Bittersweet Love

Living On Edge

I rushed out of my room and out into the hall, following the sound of the shrieks. I found Jessamine standing in a doorway, her hand grasped her mouth, in utter shock. She looked at me, unable to find words.
I looked into the doorway to find Jem collapsed on the floor. I quickly dropped down to the ground, gently pulling his head into my lap.
"W-what happened?" I shouted at Jessamine. I didn't mean to.
"I shouldn't be surprised. I just saw him laying there and I was horrified. This is normal. Why am I so shocked," she rambled. I was in awe by her words. This was normal. In America people collapsing and going unconscious is not normal. And I'm sure it's not normal in England.
Will came rushing in.
"Will! You're here!" Jessamine exclaimed. I have never seen her so excited to see Will. He knelt down beside me and Jem.
"You must leave now," Will said without looking at me. I heard Jessamine's footsteps leaving. It was obvious he was talking to me, but she took her chance on leaving.
"No. I need to be sure he'll be alright." I refused to leave Jem, not in the state he was in.
"Please. I promise he'll be fine." Will looked at me, pleading me. I nodded slightly. Carefully getting up off the floor and walked to the door. I turned to look at Will once more before I left. I could tell by the way he was looking down at his friend, he was in distress.

A few hours later I found myself pacing through the halls of the Institute. I missed dinner because I got lost and couldn't fine the dining room. I was fine with it. I ended up in the library. My fingers grazed the spines of each book. I picked up a book, examined the cover, then placed it back on the shelf. I picked up another book, The Tale of Two Cities. My father loved the book, it was strange that I never read it. I could feel a pair of eyes burning in the back of my head. I turned to meet eyes with Will. He stood leaning against he doorway, his arms crossed over his chest. He looked down at his feet. He looked back at me, then he stared down at the book I was holding. A small smirk spread across his lips.
"That's my favorite book. I think you'll like it." He gestured to the book.
I nodded, "it was my father's favorite too. As much as he talked about it, I never read it myself." We stared at each other for a few moments, "How's Jem? Is he okay?" I questioned.
"He's fine. He's resting." Will didn't look at me. I could tell he was exhausted. His shoulders slumped, and his eyes couldn't focus on one thing for too long.
"Are you going to tell me what happened? You seemed rather calm for your friend collapsing on the floor." I questioned him again. I knew he was too tried to answer any questions.
"Jem's sick." Was all he said.
"Well I know that. But Jessamine said it was normal-"
He cut me off, "Please. Not tonight. I'll explain some other time. Okay?"
I nodded, "Anyways, I'm going to bed. Care if I walk you to your room?" Will asked. I shooked my head. He nodded then left.
I got cozy on the love seat in the library, and started to read. I read until my eyes couldn't stay open any longer. I feel asleep in the place the loved most and felt safe.

One week later

I arrived at Lightwood Mansion. Gabriel and I had scheduled a time where we could meet again. And I was more than excited to see him. I told Jessamine and Sophie where I was going, promising them to keep it a secret.
I didn't care if anyone else knew, however I didn't want Will breathing up my neck about it, so I kept it a secret. I knew everyone else didn't exactly favor Gabriel. I knew if I told all of them, they would be judging me silently. Will however would make his disapproval public, causing me to be humiliated by his ignorance.
I knocked on the huge wooden door. A moment later it was opened and I was faced with a young looking house maid. She smiled, showing off her glittery white teeth.
"I'm here to see Gabriel. Is he here?" I asked.
"Yes. He's in the parlor. Follow me." I did as told, and followed her to the parlor. In the parlor, sat Gabriel. He looked up from his tea and smiled when he saw me. The maid left, closing the door behind. That left Gabriel and I alone. He gestured for me to sit across from him. He started with light conversation. I asked about his trip, he gave short replies, as if he didn't want to talk about it. But the conversation carried on.
After a while, Gabriel stated, "I want to be honest with you." I nodded. He continued, "I have been infatuated with you since the moment I saw you. You have conquered my thoughts. You're all think about. It's too soon to ask for marriage, but I want to be in some sort of romantic relationship with you." I felt myself turn crimson red. I was in utter. God, what a turn of events. I couldn't help it, I had feelings for Gabriel as well. But I could never be so bold as declare it as he did.
Moments later, I attempted to collect my thoughts and compose myself.
"I would like that very much. Because I feel the same way, Gabriel."  Was all I could muster up.
He smiled. He then leaned forward and delicately pressed his lips against mine.
My goodness, how it was a lovely kiss! It was gentle and soft. But there was something missing in it. No true passion. I brushed that thought away. I like Gabriel. I told myself.
But do I love him...