Which One? |cheolsoo|

21. afternoon

Im walking back and forth like a weirdo in front of jeonghan's ward. His parents and shua are in. Honestly i feel..i dont know. I dont know what i feel right now. Happy? Yeah, of course im happy, jeonghan is awake now. Frustation? Yeah, thats too. I dont know why i frust maybe because i didnt get the chance to tell shua my feeling. Afraid? Yeah, i think i feel slightly scread too. I know i love shua but i dont know what to feel when jeonghan awake. Hell, minghao gonna kill me. Scratch that, im gonna fucked up. I know that. At the end, one from the three of us will be heartbroken. Heck, my emotion are eating me and i just feel like i want to scream on the top of my lung.

Then suddenly, the doors opened. Mr and Mrs Yoon come out from the room. "Seungcheol?", i can see the tears on Mrs Yoon. I know that is a happy tear (obviously silly me). "You can come in now. We will head to our home for a while, taking care of something. But shua will stay, okay?"

I nodded as Mr Yoon patted my back "i know you happy but please dont kiss him now, okay?" He joked but that didnt make me feel any better. Instead, i feel worst cause i want to say that i want to kiss shua more. Shit, this feeling. That i cant deny the fact that i like it.

I awkwardly chuckled before waved them goodbye.

I take a long deep breath before walking in. Inside, I look at the twin who talking, didnt realize my present. Happily sharing whatever news they want to share.

I feel so happy to see shua finally smile again. He been crying after confessing and then fell overwhelmed for his twin. I know its hard but finally he smile. A smile that make me feel happy too. Then, jeonghan realized im there and he smile widely.

"Cheollie!!," jeonghan squealed as his eyes land on me. Huh, i feel like someone stabbing me with a sword from my back as i see uneasiness and obviously sad expression that joshua gave (that he try to hide). I want to run and hug, comfort him, saying i love him. But i cant. Heck, how should i do that infront of jeonghan who expecting me to go to him instead.

"Hi hannie," i said softly as i walk  to him. Its okay..i still have more time, though.

"Ahhh, i miss you so much," jeonghan hugged my arm. He look at me with that big doe eye.

"Yeah? I miss you too," i patted hia head.

"I know! And you know what? I dream about you. About us. About us being together and all," he cheekily said. I just stare at jeonghan. I cant look at shua this moment. But i know what he look like now. Sad, guilty, heartbroken. But mainly guilty.

Even if i want to stay with shua as his boyfriend and well, broke up with jeonghan. I cant do that now. Not when jeonghan just awaked. Not when jeonghan expect me to stay loyal for him.

"Jeonghan-ah,"shua suddenly spoke. Both of us look at him. But he didnt look at us. Instead, he look down to his shoe.

"I-i need to go now. I want to inform chan and minghao that you awake," he said softly. But not even me but i bet jeonghan also heard that shacking sound at his voice.

"Oh, okay!," jeonghan say, nodding.

"You will be fine right?" he finally lift his head and look at jeonghan with a soft smile. How can he smile? He's smiling but why do i feel sad to see the smile?

"Of course, i have my cheol right?"

"Okay, then. I will inform mom and dad. I see you tomorrow. Bye~," and he walk to the door. Not even spared a glance to me. No. I cant. "Shua", i called as he already holding the doorknob.

He didnt give any reaction at first but he then slowly turn to me with a smile. I expect it to be the sad fake one but no. Its a soft genuine smile.

"Yeah, seungcheol?," no..his voice still shacking amd his eyes teary. Thats why i love to see someones eyes. Cause it cant lie.

We stare at each other. Dont leave me, please. Stay here with me.

"See you tomorrow," my voice just as shacky as he is.

He hummed before going out. And then i feel that sudden loneliness. Everyting feel empty and i feel like eveything just shutting down bit by bit. Gone like how shua gone now.

"Seungcheol," i dont realise how long i stare at the door until jeonghan call me.

"Stay here?," he asked as he yawns.

"Of course. Go to sleep now, okay?"

He hummed. Minutes pass and he slowly going sleep.

After an hour, i decided to text shua. I still not tell him my feeling yet. He need to know. I dont know why but i have that feeling that if i dont tell him now i will lost him forever.

Me:
Shua?
Sent: 14:54
Read:14:55

Joshua blocked you.

Huh?

Me:
Joshua??
You cant send this text.

Panicked, i quickly call him.

"The number you dialed cant be reach now"

No one ever blocked my number before and i usually video called with my friends so i dont know what happen wehn someone blocked your number. So, please forgive me if that wrong haha
:3 the angel is awake now \(^o^)/