𝓫𝓪𝓭 𝓵𝓲𝓪𝓻 [ MULTIPLE]

eighty-four

TRIGGER WARNING: I'M NOT SURE IF IT CONSTITUTES BUT THERE ARE SOME MENTIONS OF ABUSE.

(TRANSCRIPTION OF THE TEXT IN THE IMAGES ABOVE IN CASE THEY DON'T OPEN)

I want to thank you all for allowing me to sit with my thoughts for so long. I know many of you have longed for me to come out and say my piece, have yearned for me to do so. And so I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart, for waiting for me and never letting go of your support.

It has been hard to come up with the words for this statement. I won't be lying when I say that I never thought I'd find myself in this position. And yet, here we are.

One thing I've seen reaffirmed to myself is that of the power of my words and how quickly they can be twisted or dismissed. I have no doubt what I'm writing now will follow the same path.

I don't think Sebastian was abusive, as many of you do. But then again, I think I'm in a mental state of mind until my therapist points out that I might not be there yet. Besides, I don't truly know what abuse covers. My opinion matters but should not be set in stone. This was the reason I didn't want to follow through with an abuse case to Court. How could I defend it and myself in court when I couldn't believe in it myself?

The settlement was enough, was a fix to such an emotionally draining situation. I only asked for honesty. With me, with you, with us all. No money, no restitution, no more than a public statement.

What I got instead, were more lies. It was two years of relationship. I'm certain that at some point my former partner (well, or at least I believed he was) could've called it a day. The rise in roles and money and relevance was blatant. Two years of playing with my mind were far more than what management demanded, I'm sure.

This man used me. It took me his statement to truly see that. Even now he profits from my pain. From people hurling objects at me on the street, from his friends snickering and making rude remarks loud enough that I can hear them. People I once considered my friends.

He used my mind, my name and my body. He made my parents like him. My brother called him family. Made me think I'd marry him someday. Made me think I was safe.

Sebastian Stan was well aware of the trauma he was slowly amounting for my future. He continued to so even after our break up on set, through comments and even just by making others believe he fed them about me.

I'm tired, truly. But better days will come. That I'm sure.

☁️☁️☁️☁️

a.n.: hey babes so i realised that perhaps not everything is very clear on the storyline, because well, when i started, this was not the path i envisioned for this story. so, if there are any doubts with anything, then please, drop me a comment. i'll reply as fast as i can :)))))