For Your Pleasure

twenty

No one says anything or moves, Cameron is just standing in the doorway, I can feel his anger building. The hurt expression is slowly reading as pure rage, his muscles flex and relax a few times, balling his fists until his knuckles turn white. I have a feeling that he isn't going to answer my question, which is weird because I for sure thought he would jump at the opportunity; I thought they all would.

Maybe he just didn't hear me, maybe I'm not speaking loud enough, it's hard to tell when all my senses are messed up and fuzzy like they are now. I blink a few times, having to resist the urge to pass out, my brain feels awake while my body feels like it's being weighed down with lead. I sigh and swing my legs back behind my head as an attempt at a backwards roll. 

I think I accidently kick one of the guys on the bed and my knees land on the hardwood floor with a bang, I hear some of the guys become concerned but I only laugh. "That went better in my head," I can't stop myself from laughing loudly. "I'm good," I giggle again.

I stand up carefully, using my arms stretched out for balance and wobble my way to Cameron, "You might not have heard me, do you want me to suck your dick?!" I ask again much clearer and louder. 

Cameron snatches my upper arm with his fist and grips me tightly, I feel myself being yanked upright. I sway back and forth in his grasp not being able to keep still. "What did you guys do to her?" he asks sternly to the guys on my bed.

I groan with frustration, it comes out more of a scream, "Stop!" I jerk my arm away and Cam releases me, I stumble back a bit but manage to stay up. "I wanted to get fucked up, own free will, mmkay?" I raise my eyebrows up. 

I've moved too fast and the room starts to spin around me and the floor gets closer than I remember. "Woah!" Nash grabs me by the waist before I crash again. He smells amazing, I nuzzle my head into his chest like a kitten cuddling up to their owner. If I could purr I probably would be at this point. 

"Mmmm, fuck this is nice," I throw my arms up to wrap around Nash but they collide with someone's head first.

"Ow!" Kian says.

"Sozzz," I giggle.

I feel Cameron's presence enter the room and I jump up from the bed, alert. I move myself around the bed to the other side of the room, defiantly avoiding Cameron.

"Josie, come on, you need to go to sleep," Cameron's tone has changed to a softer one, as if he's trying to come off not like the authoritarian he is. 

"Ummm, no. You don't tell me what to do, you aren't my dad and I'm sick of you acting like the boss of me." I stroll sloppily onto the balcony and eye around the empty street two stories down. My hands wrap around the cold metal railing and it wakes me up instantly. My Kimono opens slightly letting a cool breeze brush over my pale skin. I shrug the whole thing off so I'm totally immersed in the cold. A shiver rolls down my spin sending my skin into goose bumps.

"Josie, you shouldn't be on the balcony," Nash says, I hear the guys stand up and walk over to me. If they grab me they'll pull me inside and make me sober up or go to sleep. Where's the fun in that?

I don't even think, I just do. Swinging my legs over the railing so I'm standing just barely on the edge of the balcony. If I let go I'd surely plummet to the pavement.

"What are you doing? Come back over, now!" Cam shouts running towards me.

"Come any closer and I'll jump," I say swiftly, all the guys stop in their tracks. I don't necessarily mean it but for once I have some control. My bleach blonde hair whips around me in the wind. I lock eyes with Cameron trying to stand my ground.