The one he never claimed. (Complete)

28.

"Hello!"

I scream again on the phone to the person who's been calling me too many times but doesn't say anything. I know they're not butt-dialing me because I can hear them breathing through the phone. So the person is either nervous to say something or this is a stupid prank someone is playing on me.

"Hello!" I say again now getting annoyed. I'd thought if I give the person more time they'll eventually master up the courage to say something. But,

"Listen here! Whoever you are, I gave you a chance. But if you're gonna keep doing this then I'm just gonna block your number." I finally say right before I remove my phone from my ear to hang up but,

"She called me before she died. She wanted to see me but I had an event."

He sounds so sad that I almost completely missed him, I'm not used to this emotional side of him. He was never an expressive person.

I know who he's talking about, but when I saw him at the graduation ceremony he looked like he was coping, more than coping. He looked like he'd well accepted with his heart.

"Ezra?" I hear my voice getting soft. I'm unconsciously being cautious with him because I still don't really know how to deal with him when he's like this, I've never had to.

"I'm sorry Alex, I didn't know what to say to you. I don't really have anyone to talk to about this because no one knows me like you do. No one knows the relationship I had with grandma Michaels like you do."

It was something I'd never witnessed before in my life, not even in movies. I had a great relationship with my mom but not even that could compare to the kind of bond Ezra shared with his grandmother. I think it has to do with all that they'd endured together. They'd been through so many hardships that something different formed, I guess something to do with overcoming the worst possible adversity together. There was a point they were evicted from where they'd been staying three times in just under 6 months. The kind of bond that forms from that is unmatched.

"Hey, you couldn't have known Ez. You can't carry that guilt around." I continue to say to him softly. I can't even imagine how badly he's been beating himself up about this. Knowing him he probably kept it all inside this whole time, I'm surprised he even decided to call me about this. That must've been hard for him.

"I can't stop thinking about how the one time she actually needed me I let her down." I know what he means. Grandma Michaels was a giver, not a receiver, in every possible way. She never used to ask anyone for help, she was the one helping others even with the limited recourses she had despite it taking so much out of her. Grandma Michaels was the most independent, most kind person I knew.

But,

"That's not true Ez." I finally say to him. It's not.

He's been there for her more than he realizes. Ezra would drop anything and everything to make sure she was ok. When she was diagnosed with cancer, he ran the show. He didn't want her worrying about anything so he'd made sure to do as much as he could for her. This was even before he started making money from playing football. They'd been in so much debt from the medical bills that were piling up from the cancer treatments. I think that was ultimately what pushed Ezra to do so well in the sport.

He let his unfortunate situation inspire him and not break him. He'd worked hard until he was stable enough to give the two of them a life they'd never known. A comfortable life.

I think carrying all that burden at such a young age messed him up. But that's something I will not be getting into right now.

"Remember Lonehill?" I ask rhetorically. I know he remembers Lonehill but the chuckle he releases confirms that for me.

Grandma Michaels once got so drunk she didn't know where home was or where she even was. We'd then drove all around town looking for her after she'd called Ezra to tell him she didn't know what was happening and who she was.

We'd of course eventually found her at a place called Lonehill but we'd never laughed so hard in our lives. It was something we'd never let her forget to her utter frustration. I ignore my heart tightening at the reminder that I'll never get to annoy her about that again.

"She was like, 'where am I? who are you?'. I swear she was on something that day." He says as we continue laughing before we pause.

I was reflecting and I know he was too.

"I miss you." He'd then blurted out after our short but comfortable silence.

"Uhm..."

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to make you uncomfortable. I just couldn't help myself. Alex, I can't think of a time when everything was perfect and you weren't there."
He continues to say to me with the same emotional voice. It's not a bad thing to hear that your ex misses you or even feels that way at all about you still. But I don't want him to get carried away so,

"Ezra I - "

"Don't - I know what you're gonna say. I just want you to know that it's been different. It's been hard... without you here. I know I wasn't always there like I should've been but just knowing that you were there for me every time made it all a little less crappy. When I would go through the worst, I knew that you were there and that simply made it better. Now that you're gone, I - "

"Alex, I just hope that you can one day forgive me and I know this is a long shot but maybe we can even be friends." He says that with a chuckle and I smile in return.

"Ezra, I forgive you. I forgave you a long time ago already. I needed to in order to forgive myself. And of course we can be friends. I'll always be here for you Ez, no matter what. Don't you ever be afraid to reach out." I say to him meaning it. When someone meant so much to you, you don't just stop caring because you're not together anymore. He'll always have a special place in my heart.

"Really?"

"Yes, really."

I'm not in love with him anymore, my heart wholeheartedly belongs to someone else. But I love knowing that we can be in each other's lives without any animosities.

We soon get off the phone and I find myself crawling back into bed to snuggle myself against the boy who now not only owns my heart, but has a hold on me that I can't control.

"Who was that?"
He whispers to me sleepily.

"A friend."
I say that with a genuine smile.

Because for the first time, I know and I'm a 100 percent sure that I'm finally over him and the things he'd put me through. But at the same time, I'm happy that I can still be ok with him. He's after all someone I've known and cared for for a very long time. So I love to know that I can still have a good relationship with him.

"Ok." He whispers again to me before kissing my forehead and dozing off. I then soon join him.