The one he never claimed. (Complete)

11.

"Hey, are you ok?" A voice sounds forcing me to open my eyes.

"Yeah," I respond with a smile.

"Do you want me to get the driver to fetch you some clothes at home? You can stay here as long as you want." She says but I shake my head, and my smile remains.

"He's doing better now, I'm gonna call Mickey to come and get us a bit later on." I say and she nods her head in understanding.

After I'd been by Ezra's side the whole night while he slept, I'd decided to go back downstairs to watch some tv as I couldn't sleep. I must've dozed off on the couch sometime after.

"Alex, I know how difficult this is for you right now." Michaela says and I look at her in a bit of confusion. How could she possibly understand what I'm going through? No one will ever understand and that's the thing. She seems to sense my ranting mind because,

"Dating a football player is hard." She explains and my expression softens. It certainly is, but my situation is different nonetheless.

"The wins are great, but the losses? They're treacherous. And we have to be there to calm them and remind them that it's going to be ok." She makes her way closer to me on the couch and takes my hand.

"People look at us like our lives are all glitz and glamour but there's a lot that goes on behind closed doors." She continues to say and I smile at her to keep myself from saying something I'll regret. Even though I get what she's saying, I don't at all relate. I don't experience the glitz and glamour because nobody even knows of my existence, let alone the fact that I'm dating him.

All I ever experience is the closed-door part of her speech. The treacherous part. I don't get VIP access to famous clubs, I don't get invited to important parties. I don't even get taken out on dates.

Ezra was playing for our university before he got drafted by the team he now plays for. But even before then, I was a secret. It wasn't that bad then though because he wasn't as famous as he is now. So we could still get away with going to restaurants and chill spots no one knew about. That slowly faded the more famous he got.

But every time his team would lose, I would be there to comfort him. Every time he wins though, I'm nowhere in sight. Not because I don't want to be there but because well - he doesn't.

I know Michaela means well but she doesn't understand, no one does. I let her continue though because her voice soothes the demons in my head.

"It's a hard job being there for them, but the wins make up for all the heartache endured." Not for me they don't. I usually only see him a week after the big win.

"I know it's hard right now, but it'll be all better by tomorrow because he will have forgotten all about it." She says simply and I'm reminded that she has no clue what's happening. The current situation is but miniature compared to every other problem we have, so no it won't be all great tomorrow. But that's not even her fault that she doesn't know, no one knows.

All she knows is that Ezra wants to keep me a secret and I allow him, but it's so much deeper than that. There's so much more that I wish to tell her but I can't.

Like not just the fact that Ezra beat up the person that he did because of me but also that he had to wait for me to not be there for it to happen. That he saw the guy assault me but didn't bother to do anything until I confronted him about it.

I wish to tell her that he can't afford the world knowing he's with me so he'd rather beat him up on national television than at the house party with not even half as many people as at the stadium vs the billions of people watching on national tv.

As long as I'm not there for people to see that he's fighting for me.

I beg my heart to calm down then I look at Michaela to say,

"Thank you for that. It means a lot."
It really means a lot to me that she tried to make me feel better even though she failed miserably. I'm realizing that I'm sinking deeper and deeper into my little hole and I have no one there to pull me out, because well - no one knows that I'm drowning.

So I hug Michaela and then tell her I'm going to check on Ezra upstairs. She blows me a kiss I happily catch as I make my way up the gigantic staircase.

Am I overthinking this? Maybe I am. He did fight for me regardless of when or where he did it and I guess I should be appreciative of that. I know I'm hard on him but he tries. Clearly he lost the game because he'd been thinking of me, that calms my heart just as much as it freaks it out.

I can't help but smile a bit at the realization as I continue my long walk to the bedroom he's sleeping in. He beat up his best friend at a stadium with millions of people across the globe watching, for me. How can I possibly still be mad at him right now?

I open the door once I finally reach the room with an intention to kiss him like the keeper of my heart that he is but I find him sitting on the bed in an L position with his phone in hand and I waste no time making my way to him.

"I made a fool of myself on national television," is the first thing he says to me before I even make it to the bed.

His face is void of emotion and I climb the bed to sit next to him affectionately, to calm him down. Clearly he's taking this really hard.

"If I don't lose my endorsements from this it'll be a miracle." He continues to say as I now lay my head on the crook of his neck. My heart pains from what he's saying but my goal is to make him feel better, not the other way around.

"Maybe you should apologize to him," I say against my better judgment. I expect him to swear me off at that but I'm shocked when he instead says,

"You're a genius babe. I'm gonna apologize on Instagram and say I was really broken by the loss. Everyone won't have a choice but to forgive me." I don't even know who he is anymore.

He's basically saying that he regrets standing up for me. That kinda hurts. But again, I decide to put my feelings to the side to make sure that he's ok.

He gets off the bed after saying something about needing to look cute and remorseful on his live before coming back from the bathroom without a shirt on.

At this point that hardly shocks me.

He then goes around the big room looking for a nice background but ends up standing by the window because of the nice lighting hitting his naturally tanned skin.

And then he starts,

"Hey everyone, I just wanted to get on here and apologize for my despicable actions yesterday." I slowly move away from the bed to the other side of the room so I'm nowhere in sight. I don't even want to imagine what he would do if people saw me on his live.

"Obviously the loss was a big disappointment, but my actions weren't at all justified. And I want to apologize to the world for my unjust behavior." He continues and I decide to go into the bathroom to take a quick shower. He's doing ok now so we should be leaving soon.

I let the warm water travel down my body letting it switch on my mind. I don't know what it is about showers that makes one want to let their mind run wild.

Even though I'm still not ok, I need to force myself to be or at least seem like it until the world forgets about the loss. The team was doing so well in the games leading up to the final one and millions of fans were expecting a win, so I know the guilt is taking a toll on him. It's taking a toll on me too but at least I don't have numerous people across the globe looking at me in disappointment and shame.

Maybe the whole Instagram apology thing is just a distraction. If he focuses on that then he won't have to focus on what's really on his mind.

I decide to forgive him as I turn off the shower and make my way back to him in the bedroom after drying myself off.

"Hey babe, I was thinking we should bake today. For all time's sake."
That always did the trick. No matter what he would be going through, baking always calmed him and brought him back to the Ezra who stole my heart years ago.

But,

"I have to go to the hospital babe. The only way they're going to believe I'm sorry is if they see pictures of me and Bruno. I've just gotten off a call with my publicist. I have to go, I love you. Bye."