The one he never claimed. (Complete)

30.

I haven't seen dad in a while. A part of me is surprised that he didn't blow up my phone with calls and messages after I'd left, but I also don't blame him. I think sometimes you just get tired of trying, and that doesn't necessarily mean you don't care or love the person anymore... at least I hope not.

It hurts to think that dad might've given up on me but I guess I left him no choice.

As I sit in the car on a driveway that holds too many memories, I wonder if I'm still allowed here. I wonder if he's going to welcome me back home or simply say I should go back to where I came from. That would be fair now, wouldn't it?

Liz left me in the car to go inside the house after I'd told her I needed to take a breather before coming in. I'm imagining she's inside now begging dad to allow me to come back home. I hope he does because I don't know where I'll go if he doesn't allow me back. I wasn't really thinking much when I told her to take me home, but now that we're here I can't help my ranting mind.

What am I going to say to him?

I've put dad through so much that I won't be surprised if he decided to disown me. I think his life and everyone else's will be a lot better if I'm not in it.

It takes me a while but I soon decide to make my way out of the car, to the porch, and soon start knocking on the door softly. Something that's really weird for me but I wasn't going to just barge in like it's still my home or something. I'd stood there for a while contemplating whether I should knock or just open the door.

Not too long after, the door opens to reveal,

"Ezra?" He looks so... concerned.

"Hey Alex," he greets me softly, like I would break if he shouted.

He then opens the door wider for me to come in and I do but I'm surprised when I see dad, Mary, and Liz sitting with someone who looks familiar but my memory doesn't seem to recollect where I know her from.

"Please join us." I hear Ezra whisper in my ear as he stands next to me and I look at him in hesitation before I let him take my hand to lead me to have a sit with everyone in the lounge.

"Alex, you might not remember me but my name is Jenifer," the beautiful dark-skinned woman starts with her thick British accent and that oddly calms me down a bit. There's something about a British accent that makes you feel non-threatened.

I look at dad who seems to not be able to look back at me then I turn to look at Mary who's got a sympathetic look on her face.

What is happening?

"I'm the psychiatric ward chief at the Helen Joseph hospital."

Yes, that's where I remember her from.

She didn't used to make a lot of appearances in the ward but when she did, it was always memorable. She always had on really high heels that I could never pull off and she'd walk so fast in them that by the time you do a double-take, she was already on the other side of the ward.

She used to walk around the hospital with her head held high that you couldn't help but feel pride for the fact that she was a woman and she held such a high position in this male-dominated world.

All the male patients had a thing for her.

"Alex, I'm here because your family is concerned." She says getting me out of my reminiscence.

I let my eyes travel around the room to see all their frowned faces before I return my eyes to her.

"And they couldn't have expressed that to me?" I ask her but my question is directed to my 'family' who now can't seem to look at me in my eyes. I feel my defense mechanism emerge.

Shouldn't calling in an external force be the last straw? Like if I'd been so problematic that they had no choice but to call in help. All I'd done was follow my heart, I'd hardly had a conversation with any of them about my situation.

Even though I know they weren't fans of my actions, they'd never made effort to talk to me about it. They just gave me looks.

So yes, this is beyond shocking to me.

"Alex, sometimes people who care about you don't say stuff to you in fear of hurting your feelings." She says to me in solace clearly seeing my racing mind.

"Sometimes it's that they don't know exactly what or how to say things to you, not that they don't want to. That's when people like me come in." She continues to say as everyone remains quiet.

I do too just to let her finish. I have a lot on my mind that I want to say but I decide to let her do what she came here for. Maybe this is necessary for my healing. Maybe.

"At Helen Joseph's, we don't believe in giving mental diagnosis' when it's not necessary. Because in many cases it limits people. When someone knows that they've got a mental disorder it changes them. They think that that somehow makes them less of a person. They think that their life as they know it will never be the same again. But that's not true.

About 80% of all humans live with mental disorders, some more severe than others. So in essence, if you have a mental disability, you have more in common with the majority of humanity than not." She finishes.

Those are really great points. But,

"What are you saying?" I ignore the break in my voice as I ask. Is she saying I'm crazy?

"Alex, you have a mental condition called a Dependent Personality Disorder, also known as DPD. As the name suggests, it is characterized by an overwhelming need to have others take care of you. Furthermore, you rely on people's approval to be okay. You tend to become needy and/or clingy, resulting in lowering yourself just to please others."

I feel my chest getting heavy every time a word leaves her lips. My world is going round and round and each second I feel dizzier than the last.

"Alex, I'm here to tell you that your actions are not of your choosing. Mental illness is something often disregarded but it affects more people than any other disorder. We're all here to tell you that we're going to fight, and we're not going to stop until you are not as affected by it so much anymore. We're not going to stop until you're ok."

At this point, her voice just sounds muffled. She's trying to sugarcoat telling me I'm crazy. So,

"No!"
I hear my voice scream without my permission.

"No, I'm not crazy!"
Just because I love a little differently than the average person doesn't mean I'm mentally disabled.

"How dare you?! All of you! And you claim to be my family yet call me crazy?"
I'm livid. I hate all of them.

"Alex hunnie..."

"No, dad! You don't care about me! You didn't even call, why didn't you call dad?" My voice gets louder the more I talk.

"And you!" I face Mary.

"Were you just pretending to understand my situation?" I'd thought she was the only person who'd understood. Apparently not because she was seemingly in on all of this.

I continue to point fingers, scream, be hysterical, and even swear before I feel my body go weak. I almost hit the ground but I look behind me to see two men in white suits and an injection that's seemingly been emptied inside of me.

I take one last look at everyone as they stare at me.

"I'm not crazy." I finally say before it all goes dark.