Skip BEAT (boyxboy X fanfiction) [hiatus]

Chapter 16

Edge

As soon as I slumped back to my bed, I heard the footsteps storm to my door and shut it close loudly.

So it is just a fling.

No, way to worse than that.

I let out the breath I am holding after I said that to him.

Why I didn’t see this on the future?

Why didn’t I think this would happen?

After all I have done.

After all I said to him.

Is he stupid enough?

--‘It was just a one, no two night stand, right…’

Those are the words that abusively repeat in my head.

How can he think it was a two night stand?

“Fuck” I muttered.

Then I felt my eyes burn.

I felt like I was losing my breath. My lungs burn from the pain, so does my heart.

Then it struck me, I was crying so hard.

I held into my sheets as if it was the only lifeline I can hold on unto, gripping it hard as my fist turn white around it. I shove my face into my pillow harder as I can’t handle the pain I am feeling, cry harder, as if it was even possible.

I was so stupid.

I am so stupid.

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I don’t know how long I cried out my heart that time. I don’t know how long I have sulk myself to the thing I prepared, sort of, myself the first time it happened between me and him, and long before that. The reason why did I changed drastically.

I’m not sure if I feel asleep after I have cried so hard, but the next thing I know is my eyes shut open in total darkness.

I got up my bed and traced the hallway slowly going in the bathroom. I need to freshen things up, I don’t need to sulk so much about that, I need some fun. I endured this thing before; I can surely endure this time.

I just need a diversion.

I need an escape goat to this thing I have right now. It felt heartbreak but technically it’s not, or practically, I don’t have anything to exclaim, there’s nothing in between.

There is nothing between me and him, as he stated.

I turned on the light of the bathroom as I slowly walk inside it.

Stepping inside barefooted, naked since last night, I turned on the knob of my shower, not caring if either hot or cold water would hit me as the moment it releases it.

And I got the cold one.

But I don’t care anymore.

I just need to this thing done and leave this place and have fun. That’s it.

I am going to have fun.

This would be fun.

I smiled bitterly as freezing cold water hit my skin. As it soaked my hair and made goosebumps on my skin.

I better shut this thing down before it hurt me more.

“I can’t afford to be hurt anymore…” I whispered to myself as I let the cold water stream down to my whole body.