Babysitter Cougar [COMPLETE]

Chapter 28 page 1 - Birth & Depression

Saloma Connor was born the next day past dawn, sooner than expected. She weighs 7.3lb (3.31 kg) during the delivery. She's named after a legendary local songstress of the same stage name which both Saint and I had agreed to that name when we drove and passed below the construction of Saloma Bridge last month, admiring its majestic fine architecture. Saloma's facial features have yet formed to follow any of ours, but her monolid eyes have given away her birthright as Saint's beautiful daughter.

Saint didn't give her up to the bassinet for about an hour until the nurse had to intervene. Although I'm exhausted from the delivery, I catch the sight of him not letting go of the baby vividly reminds me of his young self, refusing to let his possessions be touched by others. Some things never changed.

We both put aside our differences temporarily to give in for our daughter's arrival. Moreover, I need the space to heal myself from the delivery and to regain my emotional wellbeing.

When the world is worsened by the COVID-19 pandemic with millions of people are infected and more lives are taken, the government finally imposed movement control order nationwide in March in order to curb its spread. We witness drastic changes to our usual norm; the enforcement of cordon sanitaire that takes place in every states and districts, the prohibition of mass gatherings promulgated nationally while many non-essential business premises have to temporarily cease their operations until further notice.

Mom was no longer the cheerful person I once knew even though she struggled to be okay for me. Seeing the fragility in her face behind the camera when we video chatted, I see sadness prevails. We talked for a couple of hours and she outlined the troubles revolving around the family from Dad's kidney failure, Maheera's secret struggles with Hardy's narcissism and Mom's attempt to reunite us with Kay, my long-lost brother. It was the longest chat I've ever had with Mom since Dad kicked me out of the house last year. And I never expected that it would be the last.

Once again, my life rolls like a roller coaster about to plunge through the looped track after I reach high. The blessing of my daughter's birth subsequently becomes an affliction with the news of Mom's demise a couple of weeks later. She passed away due to her lung cancer which she never told me that it had deteriorated into a fatal stage. Neither Saint knew about this, and we both were completely traumatised by the news.

Despite the order to limit the attendees to only close family members, Saint attended the funeral on my behalf only to create another commotion between him and Dad when both men had a row after the burial.

I had postpartum depression during the healing process but losing Mom especially in these testing times is something beyond sadness that I can't bear. I know Mom had gone through relentless sufferings ever since Kay's disconnection with the family, and her pain prolonged and intensified after Dad dismissed me, but I never made the effort to make things right for her. Now it's too late.

I tried to push through and be okay, but the image of her vulnerable self resurfaces in my mind made me lose the will to live. Even though Sabina and Saint try to be there for me, the love of my mother is something that can't be compared.

And when it rains it pours.

Saint lost the plot when the National Registration Department (NRD) ruled Saloma out as an illegitimate child for being born shorter than six months after our marriage. The NRD officers denied our application to have Saloma bearing Saint's name as her father and enforced us to have her registered with a surname 'binti (daughter of) Abdullah' which is a common practice in Muslim naming system for a love child.

And it got worse when one of the officers made a passing remark, posited that our daughter had no right to be placed under Saint's lineage due to her status. The quarrel between the officers and Saint at the NRD office centre during our daughter's birth registration had escalated into a tantrum throwing scene in broad daylight that startled Saloma from her nap, causing her to wail.

I soothed her and watched them tiredly by the corner of the office with other patrons that came in, flashing off their mobile phones to capture a viral worthy scene. Gradually the matter resolved when they finally agreed to have Saloma to be registered as just 'Saloma Connor' on her identification to follow similarly to Saint's.

"To hell with these red tapes! She should've been born in Ireland like me," Saint retorted under his breath, implying how inflexible Malaysian system is.

I didn't answer, I wasn't much in a mood for anything let alone to justify the reason behind such bureaucracies. I still miss my mom.

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Photo source : (Cover photo) Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash, (Inline photo) https://www.pinterest.com/pin/397442735843776745/