Jopper : You make my heart skip a beat

Chapter 8

Joyce got up to go get the pizzas before the pizza delivery boy left. Hopper's mind wouldn't shut up. What just happened? Did we almost kiss, or am I imagining that? Did she want to kiss me? What if this is all in my imagination. I mean, come on Hopper. Why would Joyce Byers want to kiss me, a chief of police with a drinking problem and too much baggage to begin to list. 

Hopper turned to the kids, trying to focus his thoughts on something else and not Joyce, and told them, "Right, we'll set the table, while your mom gets the pizza." They moved without complaint, which was odd. They barely ever stay silent when asked to do something. Only if they are up to something.

El and Will busied themselves with setting out the cutlery. El moved the glasses with her mind and placed them on the table, blood slowly trickling down from her nose. He knew if he went off on the same lecture about her using her powers - "You have to be careful! No one can see you using your powers, El!" "No one saw me!" She'd yell back. "But they could have!" The argument always ended the same way. The things in the cabin, books, plates, glasses and something furniture, strewn across the room after a telekinetic tantrum. Slammed doors. Yelling. Screaming. - he would never get the answers he needed. So he didn't tell her 'No powers' or 'be careful'.

He knew he was going hear about what she had to say, sooner or later so chose to ask now. When Joyce wasn't here. Who knows what they're up to and Joyce doesn't need the stress of handling their nonsense. "What's up with you two?" He asked picking out four plates to put on the table. Travelling across the room, never breaking eye contact.

"Nothing" Will and El said in unison. I don't believe that for a second. El wiped her nose with her sleeve, before arranging the things on the table.

"Really?" He asked sarcastically, wanting information. He looked up at them after placing the plates on the table, giving the look that said 'I know it's not nothing, so stop trying to sell me that crap.'

 El got the message, so she spoke up, "Do you love Joyce?" She said it as though the answer was obvious.

Oh no. What? How? How do they know? Oh no, if it's that obvious to them. Who else knows? Do the rest of their friends know? Does Jonathan? I can never tell what that kid's thinking. I don't even know if he likes me. Would he be ok with the thought of me and Joyce. What? Me and Joyce aren't even a thing. I don't even think she feels the same way. And if she did, which she doesn't, she's still grieving and I can't be selfish. I won't be selfish. 

He could barely think straight, let alone talk. He stumbled to find words and what came out was an unconvincing, "w-what?"

El and Will looked at each and smiled before facing him. "You do love her!" Will exclaimed louder than he should have. "Shhh! She'll hear you!" He whisper yelled, glancing to the door, hoping she wasn't there listening.

The sigh he released that was heard by all, only confirmed the kids theory. "You have to tell her!" El whisper screamed, excitement radiating off her. Her smile growing bigger by the second.

She's so happy. She's never had a real mother. Joyce is El's mother. Joyce is great for El and quiet frankly for me too.  I can't let her down. Or Will. They deserve this happiness. They both deserve a whole family. And I love them both, and Jonathan. And Joyce. I don't know what I'd do if I lost them. They are the reason I wake up in the morning. I wake up to El's smile while she digs into her triple decker ego extravaganza. I go to the Byers house to find Will and Jonathan. Two boys who had grown up well before they should have had to. The three kids are my family. And so is the woman I love, waiting behind the counter at Melvald's general store, everyday on my break. The four of them are my whole world. I'd do anything for them. To protect them. I'd die for them. If it meant they'd be safe. I'd sacrifice myself for them. For her.

If only Joyce knew. If only she knew I am head over heels in love with her. I love her more than I love life itself.

The three of them pull themselves into silence as the door was pushed open by Joyce, carrying four pizza boxes that stacked an inch higher then her chin.

"What's going on?" She asked, probably thinking we were talking about her, which we were.

"Ooooh pizza!" El rounded the table and walked over to Joyce, offering to take two boxes. Hopper stayed silent, not trusting himself or his voice. 

El and Joyce brought the pizza over to the table, El not waiting to dig in.

"Is Jonathan still here?" Joyce asked,

"No. He left earlier when we were watching tv." Hopper answered not looking up from the pizza now stacked high on his plate. I can't trust myself. Not to talk, or look her in the eye, or touch her. "Oh ok." She replied. He felt a sudden dip in his stomach. Oh no. Have I hurt her. No, no, no. If she was that uncomfortable she'd ask me to go away, or leave, or stay away from her. She's probably just worried about Jonathan. He let the worries slide out of head as Will and El started hungrily feeding on their pizza.

"This is delicious mom, thank you" he said while stuffing his face. "Your welcome. And be careful." She smiled.

The sight of them reminded him of what he said earlier. They are like animals when they are hungry. Hopper looked up at Joyce and caught her eye, completely forgetting the pact he made less than a minute ago. He gave her a look and he could tell she was doing everything to not burst out laughing.

This reassured him. She's not angry. Shes not upset. She's ok. Maybe I still have a chance. Tonight.

Hopper sat across from her tonight. He didn't want to make her uncomfortable. His thoughts before dinner were, what if she's uncomfortable and embarrassed about what happened on the couch. I can't make her more uncomfortable and embarrassed. I should keep my distance until she seems recovered enough to be near me.

But now he regretted sitting so far away from her. All the worries from earlier vanished when he finally caught her eye.

Hopper's head was swarming with different ideas and scenarios of how, when and where he could kiss her tonight. His conversation with El and Will made him realise. They were right. He needed to tell her.

He needed to tell her he was in love with everything about her. He was in love with her.