Jopper : You make my heart skip a beat

Chapter 14

"Will, honey, is everything ok?" She asked, looking over the back of the couch at Will and El in the doorway.

"Have you looked outside?" Will asked them, looking towards the window. "No why?" Joyce turned to face the window, Hopper doing the same. What's going on? Is everything ok? Is that f* monster back to take my kids. 

What? Did I just call El my kid? She is like my own daughter. My own flesh and blood. Even though I want it so badly. Even though I want a daughter to connect with. I know she's not. She is Hopper's daughter. Not mine. 

All she could see out of the small window was white. Pure white. Peaceful, almost. That's what we need. That's what all of us need. That's what my family needs. Peace.

"There's a huge snowstorm outside!" El exclaimed pointing out at the falling snow, piling at least several feet high above the ground. She's so excited. She's never seen a snowstorm like this. She's so pure and so happy.

 She didn't deserve to have her childhood taken away. She deserves to be able to play in the snow. Able to enjoy the rest of her childhood. Without having to worry about inter dimensional monsters, who control people so they can take over our world. She shouldn't have to worry about the bad men coming for her. She shouldn't have to live her life in fear. She shouldn't have to hide. She should be free. She should be able to live her life. With her loved ones. Play in the snow with her friends. Have a sleepover at her friends house. Ride a bike to the arcade and play video games like a normal teenager. But she's not a normal teenager. She'll never be normal. But that's ok. El's her own person. She's unique, one of a kind. She's kind. She's loving. She's caring. She's compassionate. She's clever. She's confident. She's trusting. She's determined. She's loyal. She strong. She's tough. She brave. She patient. She's understanding. She's powerful. She's capable of achieving anything. She's a fighter.

Hopper looked over to Joyce and spoke directly to her. No hint of disappointment or anger or frustration in his voice. "I think we're snowed in."

She sweared her heart skipped a beat for the millionth time tonight. We'll be stuck together. For several days. In this small, cramped house. Hopper and me. Me and Hopper. And El and Will. A family. Our family. But...

Joyce faced the kids to see how they felt about this. "Mom, it's ok. We're ok." Will told her, reading her mind. He knows me too well.

She chuckled at her youngest son. "I know, Will. Don't worry about me." She saw the look Hopper gave her. His expression was over ridden by concern and... something else? She couldn't quite place it. She had seen that expression before. But she couldn't remember when.

Hopper and Joyce caught each other's eye and he smiled briefly, before turning to the kids.

"Okay, so... do you guys wanna watch a movie? Or play a board game?" He focused his attention on them as Joyce thought. He's so good with them. And Jonathan too. He's like their dad. No. He's not their dad. Why do I keep doing this? He's not their dad. They're not our kids. As much as I want it. I can't have it all.

And what about Jonathan? Is he safe? Is he still at the Wheelers? God, Jonathan, please be safe and sound with Nancy at the Wheelers house. Please don't be stuck on the side of a road, freezing to oblivion. Please, please be safe! Her thoughts turning over and over in her head. 

It's was his voice that pulled her out of her dark thoughts. That pulled her out of the darkness, she's all too familiar with. It was Hoppers voice. "Joyce?" His tone showed deep concern, as he bent down to eye level with her. She was still sitting on the leather couch as her fingers picked at her nails, anxiously. A nervous habit she had developed over the years.