Jopper : You make my heart skip a beat

Chapter 15

Soon the four of them were cuddled up on the couch. El was leaning on Joyce, Will beside El. And Hoppers side pressed firmly against Joyce. 

Joyce had made hot chocolate for all of them, with  marshmallows. The lights were turned off leaving only the light from the tv and the warm, welcoming glow of the fire, giving them heat that they trapped under a warm, furry blanket. The room was dim. Setting the mood to... almost romantic. 

The four of them curled up on the couch, watching the kids, all-time favourite movie, Star Wars. It was a pure sight. A family, cuddled up during a furious snowstorm, drinking hot chocolate, wrapped in a blanket and watching a movie. Hopper loved it more than he should.

This is like one of my dreams. The people I love, cuddled up next to me. El's cosy between the woman I love and her son. God they are perfect. They make my life a living dream. I just want to be there for them. I want to be able to protect them from all the evil in this world. And other worlds. I just want to be by their sides forever. I want to be by her side forever. I just want to kiss her. But I know I can't because...she doesn't feel that way about me. All I want in this world and other worlds, is... to kiss Joyce Byers.

The loud, piercing ring of the house phone broke the silence of the room. Joyce turned her head so fast, Hopper was sure she had hurt herself. He remembered how terrified she was after getting those phone calls. Will had just gone missing. Hopper, sensed her discomfort, so he stood and walked to answer the phone.

He spoke into the phone softly. He didn't want to scare her. She needs someone to comfort her, not terrify.  The speaker on the phone, rambled on about what had happened. Hopper was just focused on those couple sentences. He placed the phone back on the wall, with a click.

He walked back over to Joyce, looking her in the eye. "What is it?" She asked cautiously. She doesn't deserve any of this. She deserves to be happy. She shouldn't have to worry or panic. But that's what happens. "Jonathan." He replied. "He's not at the Wheelers. They don't know where he is." 

He saw the scared look on her face, so he put his large hands on her elbows and guided her to stand. Shaking with worry, he pulled her into the kitchen. "Joyce, look at me." He spoke calmly, attempting to reassure her. She couldn't meet his eye. "Joyce? Hey, look at me" he could see the heartbreak in her eyes. I just want to take her pain away. I'd suffer all her pain if it meant she was ok. I just want her to be happy. I guess...even if it's not...with me.

"Can you take deep breaths for me?" He asked, guiding her to sit on the kitchen stool. She took in a shaky breath, her knees being knocked gently from beneath her as they hit the seat of the stool. Her tears threatening to fall. "In and out" he took a large inhale and released it through his mouth. God, please Joyce. 

"In and out..." he said, his eyes never leaving hers. He saw the moment her panic settled. The fear in her eyes, slowly disappearing. "You're ok, Joyce. I won't let anything happen to you, or or family." He knew she didn't believe him. How can I make her believe me? "I promise." No doubt was hidden in his voice. I won't let her down. Not ever again. She needs me. 

"H-hop?" She reached out for his hand. He heard the desperation in her voice. He grasped her shaking hand in his big hand, rubbing smooth circles across the top of hers. "I'm here, Joyce." He placed a gentle hand on her cheek, forcing her to look deep into his blue eyes. She hesitated.

But she looked at him. Really looked at him for the first time since their 'almost kiss'. She slide her bottom lip in between her teeth, biting softly. Never breaking eye contact.

It made him want to kiss her. Kiss her hard. Grasp her waist and pull her toward me. God, when she bites her lip. She can't possibly know what it does to me. If she did. No, she didn't. Why would she do it if she knew it made me want her? No...but? Does she know? If she did...? Is she doing it on purpose? Does she know it drives me crazy? Does she know it makes me wish I could feel her lips on mine? Does she know?

He couldn't pull his eyes away from her chocolate brown eyes. They're so beautiful. So deep. So full of emotion and strength. But also worry and vulnerability. And passion and love. And bravery and ferociousness. And intelligence and beauty. How can one woman hold so much in two sparkling, brown eyes?

"Hopper, Joyce?" El called from the living room breaking the two adults, out of their entranced state. God, I could stare into her eyes all day. I could stare at her all day. "Yeah, El?" He never looked away from her. He didn't want to.

"Are you guys coming to watch the rest of the movie?" She asked clearly concerned about Joyce. She's so like Joyce. Always worries about everyone else and never herself.

He waited for confirmation from Joyce that came in the form of a brief nod. He turned his head to the doorway, calling to the two animals on the couch. "Yeah, we'll be in, in a minute." 

Turning back to Joyce, he spoke softly and reassuringly. "Karen said she'd keep us updated on Jonathan. She'll call when there's news. He's going to be ok." Joyce dried her eyes with her sleeve and stood from the stool. "You're right, Hopper. Thank you." She smiled sadly at him and all he wanted to do is hug her. Why does Joyce have to suffer? Why can't I take her pain away? Why is this dark world so cruel to her and her family? Why can't I protect them?

He followed her back to find El and Will still in the same positions, staring at them worriedly. Hopper knew they were worried about Joyce just as much as he was. "We're ok, kids." He and Joyce sat down, side by side, snuggled close together. "We're going to be ok."

 This seemed to reassure the two teens as they focused back on the movie, their eyes never leaving the screen. Hopper chuckled lightly under his breath, but that didn't stop Joyce from hearing him. 

"What's so funny?" She whispered in his ear. "Just the fact they can't keep their eyes off the damn screen for two seconds." He whispered back, making her giggle. "I know. They love this movie too much." In that moment Joyce Byers was happy. But once it was over, her sad state returned.

Hopper hated seeing her like this. What can I do? What should I do? Should I...no I can't. But...

The flurry blanket that rested loosely on top of the four of them, was perfect. He slid his hand into hers, clasping it firmly. They were holding hands, the blanket keeping their joined hands hidden from their kids. The joined hands were hidden from the world. And I like it.