AIN'T MY FAULT | taekook

Chapter 48

■■■■

The thunder outside the house was still inferior in front of the storm going inside his head. Whenever he had neared the other, he had felt a peace, the one he was forgetting, the will to live, he was getting it back being with him. The few nights he spent holding the other, it was like he felt safe more, just for the night, but it reminded him he is not alone, again.

He despises himself to feel comfort in the other. He hardly remember a moment in his life when he loved himself, thought he deserve something, or he is capable of something. It was also hard when your parents also don't care of your this thoughts, carelessly avoiding him like there long forgotten rich jewellery in the locker.

So when he got a single person, a single human who truly loved him, cared for him, the one who showed him his worth, had left him again in this dense world, all alone. So yeah, he is afraid so much to again feel these things, the person may not be alive but the loyalty between them still breaths, and to get tangled in the mess of emotions is more than hard.

Lying on the cold floor, with nothing but tired red eyes and silence eats him up slowly. Last night when he ran away from the comfort, from the younger he didn't have the will to get up again, to again pretend a facade that yeah, he is strong, scary and okay. Broken tears flowing through the same intense eyes makes him not seem strong enough to face the cruelty of the real world.

Having not eaten since last afternoon should make him hungry, no amount of sleep should make him tired, the raw throat should make him feel sick, but no he felt nothing but numb, the coldness didn't make his naked upper body freeze, he is much colder than that. Curling himself to try to stop the voices and dread didn't seem to help.

He didn't even blink when the front door of his big apartment opened, he could hear the sound of heavy boots on the floor walking to his direction, the shadow falling on the wall in front and Jungkook finally blinked the last tears and turned to look at the familiar face, a face he had not seen in so long. He wanted to say something, shout but his vision slowly faded, than it was completely black.

~▪~▪~▪~▪~

Two weeks, it's been a whole damn two weeks since he has been outside his house, two weeks since he had gone to college, two weeks since he had seen Mr. Jeon. The elder had not called or text him after that one call. Taehyung himself after a couple days tried contacting the other, but to no avail. He even sent voice messages and texts but all unseen.

Jungkook completely vanished somewhere, every time his door would knock, or his phone would ring, Taehyung always hoped it would be the other, but no. He had called Hoseok after Mr.Jeon's call, asking him to stay with him, which the other was glad to. All these days the both would eat, watch movies, and pass the time. Hoseok was a great company, always making him feel home and healthy.

Sehun had come by the weekend and then Jinyoung and Jackson, they had all spent the afternoon at his place, chilling around. Thank God they had came by when Hoseok was at his work, or he would have asked Jinyoung why he suddenly got sick and didn't stay with Taehyung, which he lied about.

Though with rest and peace, his mind was always occupied with the thought of the other, the elder never leaving his mind for a moment. He would always be worried if the other is okay or not. Jungkook sounded so broken and lost when he last called and Taehyung really wanted to talk to him. He was also shocked when he got to know from Jinyoung that Mr. Jeon had also not come back to college since two weeks.