just a fan || BE

•six•

this chapter isn't very fun.:( but it does feature billies song, "tv". it's a very intense chapter,
tws:
self harm
suicide
mention of sexual assault

POV: Billie

"billie you can't be serious right now." my manager, danny says pacing back and forth in his office.. claudia told finneas and now i'm in trouble because i ,,never officially broke up with ava" BLAH BLAH BLAH fuck that shit.

my mind floods with memories of ava, obviously not the good ones.

there weren't good ones.

she used me.

these people aren't stupid enough to realize that when i cut her off we broke up? k.

"can't i just make a post saying me and ava broke up?" i roll my eyes and he scoffs.

"billie, you are going too easy on this! people will be like "well why are you saying it now? are you dating someone?" type shit!" he yells at me.

he's not having a good day.

"it's fine danny, seriously." i shrug and he sighs, giving up.

"you know what! do what you want billie, i'm done! i'm going home. it's too late for this shit." he grumbles throwing his hands up, letting them fall to his sides- storming out of his office.

i look at sully and he shrugs, so we head to my challenger and i tell him my goodbyes as finneas gets in with me.

"billie, you better figure this out, you can't ruin your career now." he says and i sigh. "i know.. i still can't believe claudia snitched on me tho." i groan revving up my car before i pull out.

"it was funny she walked in and said "BILLIE HOOKED UP WITH THAT GIRL!" while i was on call with our management about the tour in europe, and then made me give her 40 dollars."

"you made a bet?" i say bitting my bottom lip. "yea.." he rubs the back of his neck

"i had everything i wanted." i sigh tightening my grip on the steering wheel.

i speed down the road, i'm going 70 in a 40. i switch my gears, pick up speed and finneas groans.

"billie it's fine, now slow down before you kill us, you know if i died claudia would bring you back to life and murder you." he says and i stifle a laugh.

i slow down to the speed limit, my grip on the wheel remaining.

"hey, finneas." i say not taking my eyes off the road. "yea bill?" he questions,

"i'm sorry." i feel him stare at me, but i don't look away as tears prick at my eyes.

"for what, billie?" he asks and i shake my head. "nothing, don't worry."

"i love you, so much sis, it's gonna be okay." he says rubbing my back.

i nod pulling into our driveway. he un bulks, and opens the door. once he realized that i hadn't moved much less turn off my car he asks why i haven't gotten out yet. "i'm just going for a drive alone, okay?" he nods going inside,

claudia meets him at the door, they share a kiss before going in.

"hi baby! i missed you." ava kisses my cheek and we walk into her apartment going to the living room to watch a movie.

i'll stay in a pool and drown so i don't have to watch you leave.

i pull out racing down the road. it's 12am, no ones out.

my favorite things, speeding and backroads, it's also fun on the highway, but i don't wanna risk someone else life for my stupidity.

"billie my friends invited me to a party, i know you don't like them, and you know, your career is going so i'll go alone! it's okay i'll be home soon." she smiles at me, although i know it's fake.