My Path To Serenity

Chapter twelve

Saturday evening|| 3 weeks later

"What book are you reading?" Jasper sat down on the rocking chair across from me, given that I took up all the room being sprawled out on the couch. I checked the front cover of my new book and answered, "Parenting for beginners. I picked up a few parenting books from the library this afternoon while you went grocery shopping, and I've been reading ever since." "Oh have you?" He smirked, as he grabbed the book from my hands and set it down on the coffee table. "You're sure you want to commit to this?" His dark, loving blue eyes met mine as he kissed my lips, down to my collar bone. When bringing his lips back up to meet mine, he nodded. "I think so," he whispered. "As sure as I can be," I ran my fingers through his thick, brown, hair, while I let him kiss down my body. "You're going to be the best damn mother I've ever seen." I would've never thought I'd hear those words come out of his mouth, but I could tell they were sincere. "I have to thank you again for agreeing to this," I told him as I wrapped my legs around him and ran my hands down his chest. "All you've been doing is thanking me," he chuckled as he ran his fingers down my arms. "You don't have to tell me that, darling." I could feel myself getting weak. "Fine," I whispered under my breath. "I'll just have to show you instead." His breathing got heavier as I traced my fingers down his back to tease him. He unbuckled his belt as he took off my tank top and unclasped my lace bra, leaving it drop to the floor. "I've been craving you so bad all day," he moaned. I gasped with excitement as he teased me with his fingers. His passionate, wet, kisses melted into my skin as I watched him press his lips all over my body. "Please," I whispered in his ear, "I need all of you."

All of the sudden, there was a loud knock on our front door, which alarmed the both of us. He stopped instantly and groaned as he rolled his eyes. "We aren't expecting anybody, are we?" I shook my head in confusion as I went to put my tank top back on. "Leave it off. I'll get the door." He buttoned his pants and shouted while walking towards the door, "go away!" He swung open the front door and his tone immediately changed. "Charlotte? Tristian? What are you both doing here?" I disregarded Jasper and instantly through on my tank top and cardigan before rushing over towards the door. Charlotte's tired eyes met mine as she scooped up Oliver into her arms. "You two alright? whats going on?" She sighed, "we wanted to come and discuss the adoption if that's okay with you." "Couldn't give us a call before hand?" Jasper asked with his arms crossed. "Parents took my phone until further notice and I don't remember your number by heart to use Tristian's." "Well," I looked at Jasper as he looked at me for a second before opening the front door wider. I knew he was disappointed because he didn't want to be interrupted. I didn't want to be either. "Come on in," he gestured. "Make your selves at home," he muttered. "Shit, one second," I mumbled under my breath as I ran to the living room to quickly throw my bra behind the television. Any where but on the living room floor in plain sight. Jasper sat down across the couch and rubbed his hands together, "What's up?" Charlotte rubbed her stomach and looked over at Tristian, "sorry if we bothered you." Jasper shrugged, and I walked over to the chair and sat cris cross. "You're fine," we both said. "How are you Ollie?" I smiled and crinkled my nose at him as he laughed. "Go play," Tristian directed him as he waddled over to Pumpkin in the other room. It was quiet for a moment. "So," Charlotte began, with tears in her eyes and hand on her stomach. "Tristian just got off house arrest this morning, and the first thing he wanted was to meet you two face to face to discuss everything." "Congrats man," Jasper congratulated in a monotone voice. I nudged his elbow. "Sorry," he laughed as he scratched his head. "I uh- I didn't know you were on house arrest or anything like that." Tristian didn't have anything to say, so Jasper changed the subject to make it less awkward now. "You guys want anything to drink? We got tea, soda, water.. I might have chocolate milk in the fridge if Oliver wants something too." "I'll take a water please." Tristian accepted. "Sure thing man," Jasper got up and tossed him a water bottle as Tristian caught it in his hands. He took a sip of his water and took in a deep breath as he exhaled, bouncing his leg. "I'm feeling a little nervous," he laughed. "This is my first time leaving my house in months, and the first place I go to is my girlfriend's family to talk about adopting my baby." I looked at the floor and raised my eyebrows, then looked up at him. "Yeah, that's.. different." I joked. Tristian sucked in his cheeks and ran his fingers through his jet black hair. "I know you two don't really know me, and you might think I'm the blame for why Charlotte is the way she is, but I'd like for you and Jasper to really get to know me first. I'm not as bad as you guys probably think I am," I wouldn't say I disliked Tristian, because truth is he's right, I don't know much about him. I just don't think he's a good influence on Charlotte. Jasper and I just listened while he talked. "I'd like to thank you first and foremost for even being open to the idea of being the provider for my child's needs." His ice blue eyes showed me pain, and concern. They showed so much hurt behind them and it struck me, leaving a gut wrenching feeling in my stomach. I could feel how bad this guy was hurting. "You of course have talked to your mother about this, right?" He nodded. "Told her as soon as I made up my mind." I smiled, "Well, Jasper and I are thankful you've given us this opportunity," I spoke on behalf of him. "You two signing over the papers and becoming the legal guardians to this child means your whole lives are about change." Tristian laid out on the table. "I'm not trying sit sit here and school you on being a parent or anything like that, but as a dad myself,  I see how hard it gets and I want you to get the raw reality of it." "We're game," Jasper smiled as he leaned back in his seat. "I think we're ready for this next chapter of our lives, and like Allison said, we're just thankful to have the opportunity to be able to do this, so if anything, thank you." Tristian rubbed his face with his hands in distress. I seen his tattoo of a small crown on his pointer finger. "Yeah," he smirked. "You two are probably going to love parenthood. You're in your late twenties, have well established careers, married and you're living on your own. You guys pretty much got it made. But no matter how much you might think you're ready for this, you don't actually become ready until this baby is crying in the middle of the night, keeps you up at every waking hour. When you're just dying to get some sleep, but you can't because you've committed to devoting your life to their life." Charlotte looked at Tristian, "are you talking them out of this right now?" He shook his head, "I'm talking them into really thinking about this first." He sighed and looked back over at the two of us. "Becoming a father at sixteen has completely changed me. It changed me even harder cause I was young, but it changes everyone." He looked at Jasper, warning him. "It hasn't been easy for me juggling high school and a kid, I'm sure Charlotte can agree. So, I started smoking pot to numb the awareness of the severity of my responsibilities, got caught by the cops doing it, and had a bracelet put around my ankle for a few months with this expectation from both myself and the law that somewhere in this mess I'd find myself. Being at home with nothing else to do besides think, I really thought I had found myself, but, no one truly knows who they are at my age. I wish I could've been more prepared. I wish someone could've told me the depths of raising a child." He sat up straight and then rested his elbows on his knees. "But no one did, so now I'm on the other end where I have to explain how important it is to someone else to be prepared." He glanced over at Oliver playing tug a war with the dog. "I wouldn't trade that boy of mine for the world. That little boy is my world, but I'm just now trying to do what's right and figure out who I am in the midst of all of it. I thought if I could just finish school and save up a few more paychecks from the bakery we could rent an apartment by this time next year. Then, I found out she was pregnant again, and it's like every thing stopped. My life plans for the three of us were kind of put at a pause." "Ever heard of condoms? Birth control? Patience?" Jasper asked them in a serious manner. "I've been on birth control for years, and I still got pregnant with Oliver, and now this one." Charlotte put her hand on her stomach. "When life wants something to happen, it just will." Tristian looked at her stomach then back up at us with fear in his electric blue eyes. "I just- I just want this baby to have a good life. At first I was against this whole adoption thing, because I thought we were made for this. But then reality struck me in the face. I see we're still living with our parents, depending on them and struggling to get by as it is.." "Hey man," Jasper interrupted. "I was reluctant about this adoption too. Not because I didn't think I wasn't equipped to be a great parent but because I knew you both were, and that this baby would've been just fine. Then, thanksgiving came, and I seen how well that went when everyone found out I just knew in that moment there wasn't any more reluctancy." Tristian nodded, grabbing his pack of Marlboro reds out of his pocket. "I mean, I'm thrilled," he looked over at my sister. "I know she's thrilled, but let me just tell you, you know how they say it takes a village to raise a child?" I nodded. "It takes a fucking army," he chuckled. "And just like you considered not adopting our child, I considered not wanting the baby up for adoption to be real with you. I've thought about that a lot, but I know you both will provide everything we can't." His eyes started to get red before a tear fell from his eye. I watched the pain and hurt flood from his eyes, and it tore at my heart. Oliver came pitter pattering over to him, and gave him a hug. He knew with Oliver there listening, even if he wasn't completely comprehensive, he had to cut the conversation short. "Hey," Jasper spoke up before finishing this. "We'll take care of her for you. Or him." He wiped the tears from his eyes and looked at Charlotte, to see her expression on her face. I grabbed the Patty's Pizza Parlor coupon from the end table and asked everyone, "let's get off this heavy subject for a minute, how about some pizza? The two of you are welcome stay for dinner." "No thanks," Charlotte was quick to answer. "We have home work to do." "Why don't you bring your homework over here? I know you're technically grounded from seeing friends but we're family. I'll talk it up with Mom and Dad," I suggested. "You two can crash here if you need, just to get a change of environment for a day and regroup your selves. Oliver can sleep up in the guest bedroom with you guys. Then when we wake up, we can all go out to breakfast in the morning." They both looked at each other and shrugged in agreement.

                         That night 11:53 pm

"Move your game piece back to start!" Tristian told me, replacing the occupied space with his game piece. Jasper reached for a third piece of pizza, "Is it my turn?" "Yes love, keep up!" I nudged his elbow. He picked up a card and shouted, "Woohoo! I get to move 11 spaces. In your face! Actually, in all your faces because I just won!" "Damn you," I laughed. "I was sure I was going to take the lead." "Round 2?" Tristian asked the three of us. "You guys can continue playing," Charlotte spoke up. "I'm getting tired and I have to be up at seven when Ollie wakes up. Then after breakfast tomorrow I'm gonna go job hunting." "I put fresh sheets on the bed for you," I comforted. "Sleep in a little later tomorrow babe," Tristian stepped up. "I'll wake up with Oliver." "All right," she yawned. "His milk is in the diaper bag. He's going to want that first thing in the morning." She headed up the stairs and Tristian started dealing the deck of cards. "You know what, I'm gonna actually have to count myself out this round and head to bed too. I'm getting sleepy." I rubbed my tired eyes and yawned, "I'll see you both in the morning." I pecked Jasper's cheek before blowing out the candle on the kitchen counter and making my way over to the staircase. "What do ya say? You up for another round?" Tristian asked Jasper as he started shuffling the deck. "Yeah man, I'll play a couple more. Let's put money on it, shall we?" Jasper dropped a twenty dollar bill on the table and took a sip of his beer, "Winner gets to keep that twenty bucks." Tristan playfully joked, "Might as well just put it in my wallet now." The two of them laughed. "Hey thanks again for having us over for dinner and letting us crash here. The change of atmosphere is nice." "Don't mention it," Jasper waved his hand in the air. "Allison and I are glad to help." It was quiet for a moment. Tristian moved him game piece and eyed the beer bottle in Jasper's hand. "You got any more of those?" Jasper looked down at the half empty bottle of Budweiser then fixed his eyes towards Tristian. "What? No," He answered perplexed. "You're too young to be drinking. Besides, aren't you on probation anyways? Why choose to prolong it?" Tristian shrugged carelessly, "oh come on," he playfully nudged his shoulder, "you know beer gets out of your system in less than 48 hours. I'm not due for another piss test until next week." Jasper was firm, "nah man, I'm cool with us playing a few board games here and there and I'm all for helping you out with your baby, but I can't help you fuck up your life." Disappointment struck upon him, leaving him feel regretful instantly. "Forget it, sorry I even asked. I feel stupid." "You should," Jasper replied half serious. "You don't want to stay in the system forever. You want out, don't you?" Tristian scoffed, "my freedom got taken away at fifteen when I found out I was going to be a dad. It's all down the drain now." Jasper drew his card and moved his game piece. "Freedom is merely a state of mind, dude. Remember that." "Yeah, sure," he shot back. "Tell that to the system. Just do me a favor and don't mention this to Charlotte. I want her to see I'm trying." Jasper leaned closer as he looked him dead in his eyes. "Then actually try."