My Path To Serenity

Chapter nineteen

TRISTIANS POINT OF VIEW:

I laid there in my cold, uncomfortable, single bed. Nothing like the bed I slept in at my mothers house, and especially nothing like the bed I slept in next to Charlotte. The least they could do is give me colored sheets. The white bedspread, white blanket, along with the white pillows sure matched the daisy white plain walls. The room was small, too, and not to mention absolutely ice cold. And no matter how hard I tried to distract myself from the room, my thoughts just kept tracing back to my visit with Charlotte, and how utterly disgusted I am with myself for throwing her out of here. Not to mention, I didn't even get to see Jasper and Allison, or spend enough time with my son. I'm such a prick. I looked up at the ticking clock, which read exactly 4:00 pm. My mother couldn't make it to this visitation because of her work schedule, but she promised next week she'd be here the full two hours of visitation time. I'll believe it when I see it. One of the staff knocked on the door, and I hid my granola wrapper under my covers. "Mr. peters," she came in with a clipboard in her hands. "Now that it's four o'clock, you are scheduled to go to your Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. You'll be going with staff James and your fellow peers. Any questions?" I sat up out of bed and slipped on my black and white, old, sneakers that barely fit me since I bought them my freshman year. "Yeah, how long is the meeting?" "An hour," she smiled. "I advise you to bring a pad of paper and a pen to take any kind of notes you think would be beneficiary." I could feel her eyes on me as I grabbed a note pad and pen off the end table. I looked over at her and waved the journal in the air, suggesting I'm listening and taking initiative. "Very well," she smiled. I brushed right passed her and headed out the door and into the van they hauled us off in.

I sat down in the back seat furthest away from everyone, well that was until a guy sat right down next to me. He stuck his hand out, but I didn't bother. I raised an eyebrow as a smile grew on his face. "My name is Rodger. You?" "Uh," I scratched my head, not really interested. "Tristian." I buckled my seatbelt and faced forward, but he went on. "Nice to meet you." I nodded, gesturing it was nice to meet him as well, even though I already forgot his name. "So uh, what brought you into this place?" I looked at him then looked forward again as the van started to move. "Oh come on," he nudged. "I'm just curious." "Piss off, is what brought me in here." I snapped. He laughed, "you're funny." I didn't say a word. "I didn't mean to get involved in your personal business. It's just, I'm looking for someone to relate to me while I'm in here." "Yeah, well, I'm not looking for a friend." I huffed. "I'm looking to go home." "Me too," he sighed. "Me too. My parents put me in this place, thinking it would change me." I looked at him out of the corner of my eye then focused back in front of me. "I will say, it sure helped." I rolled my eyes and slouched in my seat. This is going to be a long ride. "What about you?" He pestered. "What about me?" I stared out the window, to which the sky was already starting to get dark. "What's your story?" My story? I wondered. You really want to hear my life story? I don't even know that, it's not finished yet. I shrugged. "I don't know man," I answered back truthfully. "I don't really know you, I'm sorry." "Or is it that you can't explain because you don't know yourself?" Rodger asked me. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes for the rest of the dreaded ride.

I couldn't tell you what was longer. The drive to this meeting or the meeting itself. I was almost dreaming by this point until a hand smacked the back of my seat, startling me enough to jump. "And that my friends, is how I reached six years of sobriety." The crowd of older women and men, along with my rehabilitation group, clapped their hands cheerfully. I confusingly clapped along with everyone else. I must've dozed off in the middle of her segment.

In a funny way, I felt relived to be back at Meadow falls. The smell of stale decaf coffee in the nearly empty church, and the empty eyes of the strangers around me wasn't pleasant to say the least. "I have to say, Mr. Peters," Staff James spoke up as he unlocked my bedroom door with his key, "I find it awfully rude to fall asleep when someone's talking." I kicked off my shoes and headed towards my bed. "I took some notes at least." "No you didn't," he scoffed. "Dinner will be served in about fifteen minutes. Be ready." He started to walk away but something tugged at my heart, urging me to yell, "Wait!" He turned around and raised an eyebrow, waiting for me to finish. "Um, sorry if this is personal, but were you... were you once an addict?"