The Shattered Pieces of my Heart

ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝟝

A couple minutes later a pickup truck pulls in next to us.

"Finally!" Nicole sighs and opens the door. "What took you guys so long!" she says climbing out. For a second I am confused and then I see an all too familiar face poke out of the driver's seat and my heart falls into the pit of my stomach. Ninth! Victoria is equally incredulous.

"What the hell?" she says. Keniz turns back beaming.

"The boys are joining us, I'm sorry I think I forgot to tell you."

"You sure did!" Victoria bursts out. "How could you do this to us? If my mom finds out we were sleeping with boys!" she shudders visibly her face turning a light shade of scarlet. Kenzi cringes.

"I'm sorry Victoria, I didn't realize it was like that," she says apologetically. "And if anyone finds out-which they won't- we can just say we ran into them at the campground, a coincidence." she adds hopefully. I turn towards Victoria and plead with my eyes for her to concede, I can't have her fighting with Kenzi for any reason. Finally Victoria rolls her eyes and huffs loudly.

"Fine," she mutters. A second later we are ready to go except-

"Where is Nicole?" I ask. The seat next to me is now occupied by a boy with dark hair and big chocolate brown eyes. I think he is Latino but I can't be sure. I can't help staring at his eyelashes which are so long they seem to get tangled in the corners. I can't lie, he's pretty cute. 

When he notices me staring he smiles showing slightly crooked teeth. I blush and lower my gaze.

"Nicole went to sit with Byron, her boyfriend," he says. "Genevieve right?" he adds.

"Gigi," I replied.

"Miguel," he says. "nice shirt" I squint at him bewildered. Did Kenzi just tell all her friends to compliment me and stuff?

"No I mean it," he adds and I can't help laughing. 

-time skip-

The campground we are gonna be staying at is called Redwood Forest Campground. It seems about right since the whole area is surrounded by tall redwood trees that tower over our heads and block out most of the sunlight. Families and couples have set up tents in several areas. Some in the deeper parts of the forest, others close to the entrance. Most spots have bear boxes for the occupants to lock up their food and every now and then there is a grill with rocks below the metal bars. Some families are barbecuing hamburgers and the smell that wafts from their area makes my stomach growl.

My legs are cramped from the drive and I desperately have to pee. I also feel a little dizzy from the curvy drive. Sluggishly I make my way to the back of the car and grab my duffel. Miguel helps me pull it from underneath the pile and I am desperately grateful. Throughout the whole ride Miguel and I entertained each other. Turns out he is really nice, and incredibly funny. Charismatic would be a good definition for his personality. The whole time it was as if something was drawing me to talk to him, laugh at his jokes, look in his direction.

I must be looking horrible because Miguel doesn't hand over my duffel. Instead he asks me if I'm okay.

"I'm fine," I say quickly. "I just uh, hafta pee."

"I'll carry your duffel," he tells me, hoisting it onto his shoulder then grabbing another yellow one and pulling it onto his other. "The bathrooms are over there," he points to a structure to the right of where we are. I watch a man walk out of one side wiping his hand on his cargo shorts.

"Are you sure?" I ask, uncertainly. He nods and with a smile I leave and run straight to the building.

The first night I lie awake staring at the dark blue canvas of our tent. It's large, big enough to fit all five of us. The boys are sleeping in another tent near us. There are only four of them. Alex, Miguel, Byron, Nicole's boyfriend and Sayer. I'm still trying to fathom the reality that right now I am on a camping trip with Alex, ALEX. Earlier today he acknowledged me with a nod of his head and a smile but that is more than enough for me. I just stood there, dumbly. I can't stop thinking about him. His eyes, his walk, his smile, his voice. They cloud my thoughts as always but tonight there is a stronger feeling. He is here. A tent away. I could walk out and go to him. Go to him and we could kiss under the stars, under the tall redwoods of northern California. I could whisper in his ear, tell him how much I love him, how I have always loved him, even when he chose my best friend. Then he would smile and say I'm sorry kissing my forehead softly. Then we would-

No, I need to stop. That cannot and will never happen. I need to stop with my crazy shallow fantasies. Sometimes I wonder how I can still imagine things like this when I know he has a girlfriend. When I know that to him I am just a girl nothing else.