Momentary Bliss | Dark A.I|

Chapter 7

I don't know what woke me up the second time that night but I couldn't fall asleep after that. For a while I just laid there, staring up at the popcorn ceiling above me. My thoughts began drifting to the nightmare that I had earlier. 

Well I guess it wasn't a nightmare, it was more of a memory. A memory I wished I could purge from my brain. I hadn't had a dream like that in months, at least not since I had come to live with Ashton. I don't know why I reacted the way that I did when he came in to comfort me. I know I shouldn't have snapped at him, but it was just too much too soon.

The memories that I had with my dad were personal and private, it was just something that I wasn't ready to share with Ashton yet. What I said to him was true, he wasn't my father, but he was a friend and I know I should have a little more trust in him. It was just so hard sometimes, allowing myself to open up around him. 

I just didn't want to leave, it seemed like every time I allowed someone to get close they left. But I wanted Ashton to get close. Ashton has always been good to me, he gave me a home, attention, and he always made feel safe. Not to mention he was always making me laugh. He was a good soul. 

I really should apologize about earlier, the way I talked to him was a little harsh. His intentions were good and even if I wasn't fully ready to let him in that didn't mean I needed to leave things in a bad place. My eyes scanned over the bright numbers of the analog clock on the bedside table, 4:36am. It was early I doubt he's awake. I don't think I can go back to sleep if I don't at least try to apologize though. 

I slip out from under the thick comforter, my planting on the cold ground. My feet pad their way to the stairs. Looking down over the railing, I notice him sitting on the couch, head in his hands. He looked sad, I knew it was because of my outburst from earlier. The more I looked at him the guiltier I felt. Sometimes it's easy to forget that my actions can have consequences, when it was just me the only person I affected was myself. 

Slowly I crept down the stairs, I was ready to apologize but for some reason the words were stuck in my throat. I didn't know where to start or how to begin, there was so much I wanted to tell him. "Ashton" I began my voice loud in the silent house. He looked up at me, it was then that I noticed his glassy eyes. 

"Ashton I'm sorry" I said looking down in shame " I'm sorry that I yelled at you and said mean things. I really didn't mean it." Looking back over at him I could feel my eyes starting to get wet. " I didn't mean to make you feel so bad." I said, tears now running freely. 

"Oh baby" he began, opening his arms wide. I ran over to him burying my face in his chest. He wrapped his arms around me placing his chin against my head. "I'm so sorry" I continued pulling him even tighter to me "Please don't leave me, I really didn't mean it." 

He looked down at me, eyes wide. " Sage look at me." He said his voice soft, but commanding " I would never leave you, got it?" He said tilting my chin up to look at him "Never." He concluded, his voice full of finality. " What made you think I would ever do that to you sweet girl?" I sniffed softly trying in vain to suck the tears right back into my eyes. 

" You looked so mad, and I was being so bad and in the end everyone leaves!" I said my breath getting faster and faster. He pulled me back into his chest "I'm sorry". His voice was full of sincerity, it was the most raw I had ever heard him. " Sometimes I get angry even when I don't mean too, but I promise you baby I'm working on it. I'm trying really hard, and I swear I will never take it out on you again." The only response I could give was one of silence, burying my head deeper into his shoulder. Words weren't needed anymore, his actions spoke volumes.

We stayed like that for a while just enjoying each other's presence, until I noticed his eyes start to close. He must have been up all night before I came down. He looked so peaceful when he slept, his face relaxed without a sign of stress. I wished he could look like that all the time. It made me want to be better, to do better for him. 

Slowly I got up untangling myself from his arms. If I wanted to do better than I had to start now. What's a better way than to make some breakfast in bed? Or on the couch, the thought was still there. Now I'm not the best chef in the world but it couldn't be too hard could it? I watched him cook all the time and it looked so easy. 

But what would he like? I mean everyone likes pancakes, so i'll just stick to that. Ok so i'll need butter, sugar, flour, eggs and milk. That's it right? Grabbing a bowl from the cupboard I began mixing all of the ingredients, 2 sticks of butter 1 cup of flour, 6 eggs, and 9 cups of flour and 6 tablespoons of milk. I wasn't sure how much of everything to put in so I just guessed, it seems correct. 

Tasting the batter I wasn't sure, so I did the one thing that I knew would save our breakfast. I added the rest of the bag of sugar. Now it would be perfect. Sure there was flour and sugar and everywhere but it was nothing I couldn't handle. Grabbing a pan, I placed it on the stove, turning the heat up to high. The pancakes had to be cooked, I didn't want to give us food poisoning.

 I began pouring the batter onto the pan, making sure I plopped as much as I could. Extra big pancakes for an extra special person. I let them cook for a bit, allowing the edges to get nice and crispy. Finally I was ready to flip them. It was a little hard at first, the pancakes were a little stickier than I thought they would be. But I got the hang of it after a while. 

And soon they were all ready. They looked perfect, dark brown and crunchy on the outside. I hadn't tasted one yet but I'm sure they were perfect in the middle. Ashton was going to love this. I began washing the dishes making sure that I got all of the pancake goop out of the bowl. 

This was supposed to be a nice relaxing surprise, I didn't want him to lift a finger. I wasn't sure what to do about all the flour and sugar all over the kitchen, I would come back to that later. Placing the pancakes perfectly onto one of the biggest plates I could find, I decided he needed a drink to wash down his breakfast. Grabbing some OJ from the fridge I poured him a glass. Turning around to grab the pancakes, I finally noticed him. 

Ashton was standing wide eyed in the doorway.