What If?

"family" dinner

"How is it?" Philip's cheerful voice bounced off the walls of the room.

   I poked the food with my fork moving it around on my plate a little. I didn't like it but it'd be an insult to out right say that, so I kept my mouth shut.

   "It's delicious"My mom said happily.

   "Yeah thanks Mister B!" Brand cheered taking a big bite with a smile. Could he be anymore of a pig? I wouldn't be surprised if he sprouted a snout and started to oink.

"Brandon I've told you, you can call me Philip. What about you Emma? You've barely touched your food."

"I don't like steak, mushrooms, or asparagus."

"Emma"Mom scolded.

"It's okay Laura. I can have Hilly make you something else if you'd prefer"Phillip said.

  "No offense mister Boyd but I'm not a toddler. I know where the kitchen is and I can cook for myself. I don't need people to do what I'm capable of doing myself"I said.

  "Emmalee Frances!"   Mom glared at me and I just clenched my jaw. Brand put his fork down. He looked at me with a pleading look to just stop. "This is our first family dinner in our new home. Don't make it about yourself."

   "Okay then let's make it about you. You meet a man you don't know. Don't tell your children. Barely a couple of months later you decide to uproot us and move us in with said stranger. Then suddenly you're engaged. So caught up in your life to even wonder how it will affect your kids. Anything I missed?"I asked. Mom sighed and then looked at me.

  "We should just tell them now"Philip said. This peaked Brandon's interest. I also was curious now. I stayed silent and let my twin speak.

"Tell us what?"Brand asked.

"Well kids as it turns out I've been feeling a little sick lately. I made a doctors appointment and I'm pregnant"Mom said calmly. I laughed ironically.  The room fell silent.

  Brand tensed up and Philip opted to stay out of the crossfire. I looked at mom and smiled. In the calmest voice I said.

  "You know what. Congratulations. I sincerely hope you don't screw this one up. Goodnight."

   I left the table.

  "Emma you get back here and apolo- Brandon where are you going?"Mom asked.

  "I'm tired too. I have early practice tomorrow"My twins voice travelled behind me. I began making my way up the staircase.

  "Hey Emma?"Brandon called out.

  "What?"I asked with my back turned to him.

  "West coast isn't so bad. I could introduce you to some people if that'd help take the edge off."

  "No thanks. I know you're just trying to help but I don't need you to help me make friends. That's just pathetic."

   With that we parted ways. 

   I had to transfer schools since Philip's house is closer to West Coast High. Where we used to live, we were in between both schools so we got to pick which one we wanted to go to.

    I had originally went to a different high school than Brandon. Brand went to West Coast High School. He said it was because they had a better football team. I didn't really mind because I didn't care for sports.

I flopped down on my bed and looked over at the picture frame sitting on my nightstand.

   "I miss you"I frowned looking at the picture of my father holding me when I was three. I softly let my fingers brush against the frame.

   I was wearing a dark green poofy dress. My hair was in lopsided pigtails. Dad had on his old grey Harvard sweater and a party hat. It was my third birthday and one of my favorite pictures. I was smiling brightly at the camera face covered in icing as dad looked at me with a smile on his face.

I felt the slight pain in my heart. My dad was my favorite person in the world. Even Brand and I weren't that close he was more of a mama's boy.

Brand and I liked different things. He had his life and I had mine. There was and always has been a disconnect. Dad was always there as the center of the puzzle. He connected everything. He brought the picture together. Then one day he was just gone. Nothing made sense. The picture wasn't whole anymore. In fact the disconnect has never been bigger.

   I decided to stop moping and get up. I went and took a shower then continued my night routine followed by sleep.