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Grace's POV.
I knock on the door and enter seconds after.
She's laying on her bed, her face so pale, deep begs under her eyes, the figure so tired, her nose red.
''Dad, I said I didn't want the soup. Why don't you just listen to me? is it so difficult? Hugh'' I smile to her raspy voice as I walk towards her without making too much noise.
''What if I bought croissants instead of a boring soup?'' Amanda turns to look at me with a smile that is as huge as this house and throws the cover away, jumping off of the bed.
''Fuck, I know you would have come to see me'' her arms fly over my shoulders and my body is pressed to her tiny one. I path to her back and raise the sack with the breakfast.
''I just...Oh my, I've missed you so much. Where have you been? '' I escort Amanda back under the covers and sit at the edge of the mattress, placing the paper sack on the nightstand. I sight and my good mood just destroys.
''Grace?'' she presses and I bite my lower lip, trying hard not to say anything. Again this is my weight to carry, anyone else's.
She pads the spot next to her and I take off my boots, climbing in bed with her, hugging the pillow.
Her dark eyes are on mine, studying my expression carefully.
''I just feel like giving up on something that will make me happy, and I can't trust anyone. Not even Alex. I feel so alone, even if I know you all are there for me'' Amanda places her head against the pillow and stares at me, she knows I need to talk and take out what I have on the inside. I know I can trust her; she did so much for me. And I do not forget what people do for me.
''You know when you try to take your heart in your hands because you truly want to understand what's going on inside that body of yours but when you finally do it, there's nothing to reach out to. I kind of feel numb, like I don't have any heart anymore.'' Amanda's eyes are glittering, I don't know if it's for the fever, or because she feels sorry for me.
''If you needed to talk Grace, why didn't you come to me? You know I'm here for you.'' she takes my hand and squeezes it gently, comforting me in some way, that it's kind of weird, like my heart just melts and it stops from beating like a crazy machine.
''I just... I don't know. I don't usually do this, talking to people, telling my secrets. It's not me, but this morning, I just realize I needed someone who I know wouldn't judge me. I wanted a place where I knew no one would have looked at me and said, oh look at that poor thing, always crying over herself, always complaining, always playing the bitch.'' Amanda wets her lips before speaking and clears her throat, she's tiring herself to give me some kind of comfort and I don't even know what to do to thank her for this.
''You're not a bitch Grace, you're far away from being one. You're caring and gentle and lovely. You're so deep, that people are scared about you, you're so much more than just a pretty face, people that are your friends know that. And even if sometimes you can be a bit harsh, your words come from your heart and they are not meant to hurt, but help. I will never judge a person like you, you're so strong, I'd pay with gold only to have a trace of your courage. Whatever it is that is taking you down, you can fight it with closed eyes. I know you can, I believe in you. and you're not a person who cries over herself, you're not the typical girl who close herself in her room and swims in her own tears. Don't ever forget the warrior you have inside of you Grace, you inspired so many people, you saved Harry, you saved me. You gave to each of us a piece of happiness that we didn't even thought we could expect to have.'' She pauses and I interview her little fingers with mine. she's so little, so harmless, if I just think about the things Christian did to her, I feel so sick. ''would you tell me what's going on? Maybe I can help you'' she asks and I close my eyes feeling so tired. I didn't sleep so much today and this bed is really soft.
