𝑭𝒐𝒓𝒃𝒊𝒅𝒅𝒆𝒏 𝑳𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒔

𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 49

Harry's POV.

Life changes fast. Sometimes it changes so swiftly, you can't keep up with it. it makes you spin around like a hurricane that leaves behind only ruins because it knows no mercy.

You still have two choices though. To love or to exist. To let it sink in paralyzing your body and soul or to fight. With everything you have because first, you believe in what you're doing and you want to protect it with all yourself and second, because it's life and it's not worth without a little risk.

I took mine when I feel in love with Grace. I took the huge, scaring, most beautiful of risk and turned it into my everything. Or better it turned itself into everything I needed since Grace didn't give me much of a choice. Not back then, not even now.

I cared for her since the very start and when my whole world came crushing down, she was the one who got on her knees and helped me pick up the pieces, cutting and hurting herself in the first place only to heal me.

I'll do everything to make her life even a bit less painful than what it is, but people just seem to not understand they need to leave her alone.

Like my mom. Who keeps thinking I give a crap about her.

My hands hurt. When I come back to myself, I noticed I've punched the wall. I feel numb and in need something to calm down but I don't know what, actually. Maybe a walk.

'' Harry stop! You're going to hurt yourself. I just wanted to...'' I turn around. I feel like a furious horse who can't wait to crash things under its clogs.

'' What? You wanted to apologize so you can come back to your life as anything of this shit happened? You know what?

All this time, I've blamed George, I've blamed him for being an asshole and a careless abusive father; I've blamed him for almost everything bad in Grace's life. But now, looking at you, I understand it's not totally his fault if he became the monster that he is or, at least, was. Yes, he's paying for what he has done. You, on the other hand, are just searching for a clean way out so you will feel okay with yourself. Flash news, you're not going to get it from me. You can burn in hell for what I care. I thought for all my life I wasn't enough, that I was just a burden for you. I told to myself I wasn't worth your attention. You know how close I was to give up? If it wasn't for Kira, I would be long gone and you wouldn't have even care. You would have kept telling people I was a troublemaker boy, there was no hope for me like you always did when your friends came home and I acted like a prank. Have ever crossed your mind that maybe I was just trying to get your attention, not your eyes-roll. You should be there in that rehab centre, not George. He made amends indeed. He had no fault in what he did. He was sick.'' I can't believe I'm defending him but compared to my mom, he looks like the cutest of the angels at the very moment.

'' Harry. He was crazy, you...you don't know the things he did to me.'' I rub my hands on my face and try not to hit anything else.

'' He was insane, you're right, because you made him. He loved you, for God's sake. Yes, he wasn't the best of the men however he loved you more than anyone else will ever do. He had his sins, he did wrong and he's paying for it. Dang, he'll probably keep repaying for his actions his whole life. But when he got the chance to talk to me, even in between the blathering and his insanity, his first thought, was for Grace. I could tell he cared about her. You. You're selfish. You're much worse than him.'' my mom's eyes fill with tears and for just a moment, I feel guilty for what I have just said. It's because looking into her eyes reminds me of Grace's. They're the same exact colour. Still completely the opposite from hers, they're a dead land with no chance of redemptions.