Bittersweet // Complete

47.

Chapter 47

** This one physically hurt me so much. Not just because it's the last chapter, but because of what it means for Bri and Noah. Be warned there is a long author's note after this chapter. **

NOAH STERLING

I watched her as she gasped at the decor I'd arranged for. A lot of the plants on this floor were dying and had little hopes of recovery, so Mason had been kind enough to drape them in fairy lights and even allowed me to paste notes on a few of them. In my absence, I hoped the notes would do the job.

Bri looked at me with those big almond eyes, awe and admiration across her face. My heart hurt to think of the fact that I could make her cry as much as I did. From the corner of the room, I brought out a cliched looking red and white picnic blanket, spreading it on the ground in the middle of the room. She laughed, her voice echoing across the room.

"Sit." I pulled out the basket I'd prepared for her, filled with all the things that I knew she would love. With a handful of pillows, we made the small spot comfortable and settled down to eat.

Just as Bri was opening the basket, I said, "One last thing." With the small remote that Mason had given to me before leaving, I pressed a button to see a miracle happening. The roof of the conservatory went from being opaque to glass, and revealed the night sky to us. Because it was on the outskirts of a small town, we could see the stars shining in the sky, moonlight soaking our skins.

Bri appeared mesmerized. Her lips were slightly parted open as she took in the sight, face literally shining under the natural lights. With another button, I turned off all the artificial lights remaining in the room so we could have this intimate moment together.

Under the stars, far away from the city, I remembered that I had ticked all of Sophie's boxes. She'd sent me a long voice note detailing Brianna's likes and dislikes, and that would stay in my inbox forever. Even when it would be of no use to me.

We talked in hushed whispers, as if the beauty of the moment was sacrosanct, the smallest of noises would tear apart the fabric of the night. Even our laughs were muted, but she sounded content. That was more than what I could ask for.

We ate the food I'd arranged for in silence, and I suffered all the while as Bri insisted on cuddling up with me like we would in her bed. So small and so warm, I wondered how I would ever be able to live without this. Stuffed to our capacities, we lay on our backs again, Bri's head resting on my arm, just looking at the stars above.

I looked at the time. Okay, Noah. Deep breaths. Now or never.

"Bri... do you think the universe ever tries to manifest our deepest desires?"

She looked at me for a moment, before looking at the stars again, "I don't know if the universe knows me that intimately. But I do believe that everything that happens to us happens for a reason. Like, in the grand scheme of things, it must have been necessary."

Necessary?

How was it necessary for the gentlest soul I've known to have faced so much loss and pain in one small life? How does a heart that small hold that much grief? And after all of it, how does it still love a wreck?

"So you think it was necessary for us to have crossed paths?"

"Yes," she said with so much conviction, I almost swallowed my words. But I had to get them out of my mouth, because she deserved better. And I was not it. Yet.

"And it was necessary for me to hurt you like that?"

Her face scrunched. Ever since she kissed me outside the locker rooms we hadn't had a talk about this seriously. I regretted the fact that I rushed into her bed when she was clearly an emotional wreck and I regretted it even more knowing that her bed had never known a lover who could make her truly happy.