Bittersweet // Complete

16.

Chapter 16

Noah walked away without a word. He didn't even spare me a second glance as he made his way through the crowd, dodging sweaty bodies with very less care. My heart sank, like I was watching a puppy die in a sad movie. A strange restlessness fell upon me, like the world was ending and I had to... I had to find Noah.

But, what would I say to him? I don't want you, but I want you to keep chasing me?

How cruel would that be? I couldn't do that to him, not after he'd been an absolute gem of a person to me all this while. I had been wrong about him. He was, in fact, like every YA Romance male lead, having layers upon layers hiding the wonderful and remarkable human being he was under his who-gives-a-fuck attitude. And I wanted to read his story. From cover to cover. I wanted to cherish the creases on the spine of the book; I wanted to highlight the parts that resonated with me the most. I wanted to marvel at the beauty of the author's words. I really, truly wanted Noah.

I had been staring into space all this while, brought to my senses when someone bumped into me, pouring some fruit drink all over my shirt. The gauzy material of my shirt immediately turned transparent and clung to me, a pink stain forming on the pristine white material. "Fuck you," I screamed at the drunk offender who barely even glanced at me before rushing away. Feeling a headache and a heartache coming up simultaneously, I itched to go home, bury myself in blankets and drink caramel coffee till this chest pain eased up. I moved away from the wall I had been leaning against, feeling my back spasm in pain from the impact it had made when Noah pushed me.

Eleanor and Sophie were at the bar, talking animatedly when I walked over. "I think I'm done for the night," I motioned to my ruined top, "I'll see you guys on Monday?"

Eleanor pouted but nodded, and Sophie kissed my cheek, "Text me when you reach home."

Brianna: Reached home. Nat says hi!

Brianna: Also, don't forget to use a condom

Eleanor: Noah left earlier, and I didn't even see who with :((((((

Eleanor: Detective mode on!

Daniel: No one, apparently. At least Alex saw him leave alone.

I threw my phone to the farthest end of the bed. The implications of what was about to happen tonight were swarming over my head, and I could not shake off the electricity Noah had left me buzzing with. My skin was still carrying his touch on me like a bloodstain on a white napkin. Incriminating evidence that I was inevitably tied to Noah, despite my weakest and strongest protests.

I tossed and turned all night, thinking about him, thinking about Eleanor. I checked my phone one last time around sunrise, hoping to see a response to the text I'd sent to Noah.

@briannabananas: I'm sorry. (4.36am)

Noah hadn't seen it.

Yet, I assured myself. When Noah would wake up in the morning, he would see it. And he would have a smart or a teasing response.

I sighed, squeezing my eyes shut. That was naïve of me. Noah thought I was only playing games with him. How could I tell him why I was hesitant to ask him to kiss me? How could I tell him why my loyalty to Eleanor was as strong, stronger than my attraction to him?

I kept thinking about us, pressed against the wall, the ghost of his lips following me well into Sunday evening. He still hadn't seen my message. In fact, he hadn't been seeing all the stories I had been posting either. I scrolled through all the 237 viewers three times to find @noahsterling hidden somewhere, but he was conspicuously absent.