Bittersweet // Complete

38.

Chapter 38

BRIANNA WINTERS

I spent the rest of the week ignoring Elisa, even when she kept coming up with excuses to talk. She had known I was going to dress up as Katniss, did she have to, too? It was exceptionally rude of her to even buy the exact same shoes as I did. I mean, who does that? She was blonde! Blonde women have thousands of options to dress up as for Halloween. She had to pick a brunette character? Bitch.

In fact, I spent the rest of the week ignoring pretty much everyone. I would attend classes and head home almost immediately, working on River's room like it was the only thing worth existing for. We had cleared out the shelves on the outside and the carpeting was visible under multiple boxes, which was great progress. The wardrobe was something River insisted on doing alone, so I didn't argue. It appeared she had some personal things there that she didn't want me to see.

Nathan helped me, very unwillingly to vacuum the living room, even moving the sofa for once. As a treat, I decided to make lasagna for him, an absolute favorite in our household, usually reserved for special occasions.

"I did a good job today, right?" Nathan asked as he chewed loudly. River threw a used tissue at him.

"Great stirring skills," I laughed, "The way you stirred the pot..." I gave him a chef's kiss, making them laugh.

"You haven't eaten much," River pointed at the mush on my plate. I shrugged, getting up from my seat and putting my plate in the fridge. Wiping my mouth with the sleeve of my sweatshirt, I made my way to my room, picking up my laptop. I was halfway done with the introductory pages of my assignment, so I had to get a move on. Even an all-nighter hadn't given me much progress, so I was hoping to get some serious work done.

When I opened the document, I was a little confused to see around 9 pages written. Hadn't I given up at 5? Ugh, my sleep deprived brain was probably not comprehending numbers right. After a quick glance through the previous paragraph, I resumed typing only stopping when my phone glowed with a notification from Eleanor.

El: Party at Vortex again next week. In?

Sophie: YASSS

Bri: Ok

Sighing, my hands moved to check Noah's Instagram one more time. It wasn't like much would have changed since the past hour, but the compulsive need to check left me with no power. He hasn't posted his Spiderman outfit that he was planning, but a day after Halloween he posted a picture in an all white suit, hanging out at some balcony pretty high up with a cigarette dangling from his lips.

I would be lying if the picture along with the memory of us making out in his car didn't make me a little hot and bothered. I would also be lying if I said I hadn't compulsively checked Jennifer's account for signs of Noah. Finn had told me Noah impulsively took an earlier flight, only texting Daniel about it after he had landed in Seattle. Of course, Daniel knew about the break up, but he wasn't about to take sides. He was just too nice for it.

I didn't want him to either. Noah and I were separate as a couple and - god it hurt to use past tense thinking about it too- it was unfair of me to ask him to pick who was right and who was wrong. I had gone over the events a million times, trying to see what I had done wrong, was there any part of his perspective that I had missed on, anything that I could take the blame for.

I couldn't.

And I hated it. Because now, everything rested on Noah. Noah had to be the one to decide if he wanted to fix this, if what we had was worth saving, if there was something he could salvage from this shipwreck. And I knew Noah wouldn't do a thing. He was tired of being the only person who did anything for the relationship. No matter how wrong his perception was.