A member of the akatsuki who primarily serves as a spy. That's all that's known about him. Odd right? Sure, but the oddest thing of all is that (y/n) doesn’t know WHAT zetsu is.
A plant?
Aloe vera?
A venus fly trap?
Lettuce?
WHAT. IS. HE.
And so that day, (y/n) decided to make it her mission to figure out what zetsu was at ALL costs.
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Quietly stuffing the last of her dango into her mouth (whilst itachi watched enviously), (y/n) made her way to deidara’s room. It was time for her to complete the first step of operation: WIZ (what is zetsu).
She didn’t bother knocking on the blonde’s door and invited herself in. it’s like she hadn't seen him butt naked before.
“Good morning, my beautiful bestie!” she shouted, walking over to deidara who was seated at his desk. She peeked over his shoulder to see a rather bizarre, yet wholesome sight. He was brushing his mini mouths’ teeth. How… cute?
“Hi, princess. What do you need?” he responded, turning around to look at the now seated hyuga. She was hugging one of his plushies which resembled the clay birds he operated during missions. He had begged Sasori to make it for him.
“Ah, yes… i have some questions!”
“Questions?” Deidara nervously sweatdropped, pushing a loose strand of hair behind his ear.
“Yes,” she responded, her tone suddenly becoming serious. Her lavender colored eyes looking deep into his blue ones. The air around them, suddenly became tense as silence engulfed the pair. “What is zetsu?”
The tense atmosphere immediately dissipated as deidara’s nervous expression turned into one of pure amusement. He threw his head back and released a cackle. “He’s like us. an akatsuki member, idiot.”
“No… no- and quiet down, he could be watching,” (y/n) whisper shouted as she pressed a finger against the male’s lips. His laughing quickly ceased. “Deidara i mean… what IS he?” all of a sudden, realization had finally dawned on the blonde as his mouth morphed into an “o” shape. A dumb blonde moment indeed.
“I don’t even know..”
“Exactly… that's what i'm trying to figure out and i need your help.”
“Let’s ask everyone.”
☼︎
Hours had gone by, but the duo was able to gather information here and there.
Slamming (y/n)’s (f/c) notepad onto her bed, deidara sighed. “This took much longer than expected.”
“Yeah, it would have been quicker if he didn't have to personally hunt everyone down though. Even so, it was so worth it.” she replied before laying her head on the blonde’s chest. Immediately deidara ran his fingers through her dark hair, falling in love with the strawberry scent of it all over again. As he did this, (y/n) took a look at the notes they had gathered.
They had asked everyone who was in or around the hideout about zetsu except for zetsu himself. They began with sasori who informed them that zetsu ate children and couldn’t eat regular food because he wasn’t human. Of course (y/n) didn’t believe that, but when kisame corrected children with humans in general, the hyuga felt herself grow more and more scared of the mysterious akatsuki member.
Itachi believed that zetsu was just a guy with a personality disorder who had “become one with the venus fly trap”. Hidan said he had never seen zetsu outside of his cloak, which wasn't exactly an answer to the question at hand, but they took it.
Kakuzu made (y/n) pay him for the information, but great information comes at a cost amirite? The information was in fact valuable as he had told the duo that zetsu was not one, but two different beings merged together. Tobi was napping, so they couldn’t get a response from him; he’s so cute. Pain and konan were both out together on a mission, so they couldn’t retrieve any information from the pair.
“Fuck- this doesn’t help us with an answer, dei… Dei?”
Deidara was sound asleep, his fingers tangled in the girl’s dark locks. “I guess we’ll never know then.” she spoke to herself quietly, getting up to place the notepad on her desk and turn off the lights. She crawled into bed next to the snoozing blonde. but still the question lingered on her mind. What is zetsu?
“What is zetsu?” white zetsu wondered aloud, as he watched the hyuga sleep peacefully, cuddling closer to deidara.
“Shut up. You know what we are.” snapped black zetsu as they began seeping into the ceiling.
“What if i forgot?”
“Shut it.”
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A/N
super short and badly written filler chapter or wtv 💗
