Chapter 5Night
"Mom!" Sigaw ni Kuya Bryan nang sampalin ako ng aming ina.
"What?! Ang tanga-tanga talaga nitong kapatid mo, Bryan! Hindi ka ba nag-iisip ha, Feda? Ano bang ginawa mo? Talaga bang walang laman 'yang kokote mo?" Sinubukan kong 'wag maiyak sa mga narinig mula sa bibig ng sarili kong ina.
"He's a jerk! I slapped him because he kissed me! I was harassed by that guy! Hindi ko naman siya binigyan ng pahintulot na gawin 'yon, Mom!" paliwanag ko kahit pa malinaw naman sa aking wala iyong saysay.
"You slapped him? For Pete's sake, Feda! You and Paulo are getting married! Malamang na normal na lang sa inyo 'yon! What are you? A kid? Para manampal dahil hinalikan ka ng mapapangasawa mo?" I can't believe that my Mom is saying these things to me.
"I don't like him! I won't marry that guy! I told you a couple times, hindi po ako papayag magpakasal! I would rather die!"
"You need to! Malaki ang hatak nila sa kompanya natin! Tingin mo ba lahat ng luho mo ay makukuha mo nang wala ang tulong mula sa mga Santos? Alam mong mula pa noon ay kasosyo na natin sila, Feda. Ang kasal niyo lang ni Paulo ang hinihingi nilang kapalit sa lahat ng pagtulong na ginawa nila."
"Kasal? Para sa negosyo? Hindi, mommy, I'm not going to marry him. Kung mamamatay akong mahirap, then fine," sabi ko tsaka nag-iwas ng tingin. Akma akong aalis na nang magsalita pa si Mommy.
"Then quit your job," napaamang agad ako dahil sa sinabi niya.
"What do you mean?" Naalerto ako.
"You choose, Feda. It's either you choose to marry for convenience or you'll lose your job."
Nang makita niya ang kaba ko ay ngumisi pa siya. Kinain ko ang distansya namin at lumapit sa kaniya.
"What do you know about my job, Mom?" I firmly asked.
"Oh you think I wouldn't know, Feda? Pasalamat ka at hindi pa kita pinapakulong dahil diyan sa pagsama mo sa mga teroristang 'yan."
"They are not terrorists! They may be arrogant, but they are not terrorists. I will do anything to protect them," nanibago ako sa tinig na nagmula sa akin. Tila hindi na ako ang nagsasalita.
"Then do what I say, marry someone wealthy. You know me, Feda. We're the same. We will do everything to get what we want. Don't push me down to my limits. I will use everything I have to take down that group you're working," she said then walked away. Sinundan siya ni Daddy papasok sa loob.
Nanghihina ako. Hindi ko alam ang gagawin.
"Feda," paglapit ni Kuya pero kaagad akong umiwas.
"Don't you dare touch me!" Galit kong sinabi tsaka tumakbo papasok sa kwarto ko at doon umiyak.
How can they do this to me? I'm not a product that they can just sell to someone. I'm not a parcel that they can deliver anytime soon. How can they even include my job? They know how much my work matters to me, the people that work with me. They can easily manipulate me by using the people, and the things I treasure.
Bakit pagdating sa negosyo ako na lang palagi? Sa negosyo lang ba ako kapaki-pakinabang? Doon lang ba nila ako magagamit? Iyon lang ba ang silbi ko sa pamilyang ito? Hindi ba dapat magulang ang nagsisilbing tagapagprotekta ng mga anak? Pero bakit ganito sila sa akin? Bakit sa kanila pa laging nagmumula ang sakit na kahit kailan ay hindi ko naisip?
I can't believe that this is really happening to me. I want the freedom I've always wanted. All I want is their love. I am not expecting something in return, just their genuine love for their daughter… for me.
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