Creepypasta OC Reviews (DISCONTINUED!)

Review 10-White Eyes

OC by Mercy_l1te

Bold=My thoughts

Name: Lim Trilado

I really like the name!

Nickname: Lim

Okay.

Creepypasta Name: White Eyes

I like the cp name! It's very original.

Gender: Male

Pronouns: He, him

Alright.

Species: Human but possessed

I love that! Ghosts are one of my favorite creepypasta types, and the idea of how you incorporate both ghost and human is great.

Nationality: American Chinese

Okay. 

Age: 17

A bit of a overrated age, but it makes sense.

Sexuality: Straight

Okay.

Appearance: Pale skin, dark brown hair, eyes are completely white and has a dark circles under each eyes. He wore a long dark green hooded jacket with navy blue shirt underneath, black jeans and boots. He also wore a black mask with white grin and black stiches printed on it.

I like the design a lot!

Zodiac: Capricorn

Okay.

Weight: 50 kg

A bit lighter than average, but that's okay.

Height: Average for their age

Okay.

Body type: Slightly muscular

Alright.

Backstory: Lim actually the father of the host, Ryan Trilado. Lim died when Ryan was 6 years old in a car crash, at the age of 34. When Ryan was 17, Ryan found a music box that crafted by his father for his birthday when he was 4, which he sets his father's soul free when he played it. After Ryan known the truth about what happened to the few missing peoples, Lim possessed his body, get a poison and drink it as Ryan. His wife (Ryan's mother) saw it and killed herself by hanging.

1. The idea is really great, and I love it!

2. Why did his dad kill? There's no clear reason behind his actions. I feel like you can add to Lim's character, such as that he left Ryan's mother when he realized he like to kill people or something.

3. Understandable when it comes to what his mother did.

Personality: Patient, remorseless and creative.

Feel like a lot more could be added, but it fits what we know about him.

Mental disorder: No

Have you researched the disorder: Nope

Okay.

How they killed: First he'll kidnapped the victim that alone in the alleyway. While the victim are unconscious, he strap them down and prepare his tool. After the victim regain conscious, he'll start cutting the victim's body part by part and put it back together in a wrong order. He keep repeating the same process untill he get an inspiration for his artwork (he used to be a carpenter). If he's not in the mood, he just stabbed them with his screwdriver.

Very original, and the idea that he is trying to get inspiration is nice, and I feel like it could be put as the reason why he kills.

Why they kill: To survive and satisfy his bloodlust.

Again, I think you could put that he wants inspiration for artwork. I think you could also add sadistic to his personality if he needs to kill people to satisfy his bloodlust.

Weakness: Exorcist (the body is just a corpse. Once Lim left it, the body will start rotting. Lim just there to stopped the rotting process), holy items and sharp blade (skin cannot heal by itself).

These weaknesses make sense since he's mostly a ghost.

Abilities: Stealthy and immortality

Alright! The abilities make sense, but I feel like you could elaborate on this more.

Weapon: a screwdriver or his tool

What is his tool? Just wondering.

Fears: Water (he can't swim)

I feel like you could add more, but the idea makes sense.

Final thoughts:

-I like the idea a lot, but I feel like there's a bit more you could add.

-There's isn't much specifically wrong with the OC that needs to be changed, but I feel you should add more to make it more realistic and interesting.

7/10!