Blighted Affection

Chapter 4 : Feelings of Empathy

It was quiet in the unoccupied training grounds. The only sounds that could be heard were swaying of the lush green leaves at the force of the gentle breeze. They could feel the light wind swirling around their bodies, lightly grazing over their cheeks. His onyx orbs were met with a pair of bright hazel as they locked their gazes on each other. Kirito studied her eyes for a moment before narrowing his eyes slightly. 'Those look...they're the same...same as everyone else...' He thought bitterly.

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Six months ago when he had first woken up at the recuperation hall with Eugeo Synthesis 32, they were both in the same state, left with a hollow feeling deep within them and no memories to recall of. They were initially greeted by Alice as she tried to explain to the two boys on how they had ended up in their current state. Rather than helping, it only complicated things even more as they were unable to fully comprehend her words, causing more confusion in them. Soon, Bercouli arrived and decided to let the situation play itself out by delegating tasks to them as integrity knights. Alice was of course unhappy with his decision but Bercouli's reasoning was definitely a rational choice. Regaining their memories would take time and effort and so it was better to let them get accustomed to their surroundings to avoid stressing them out too much. And thus, the two boys were granted with the names Eugeo Synthesis 32 and Kirito Synthesis 33 respectively.

Naturally, not many were happy about the two becoming integrity knights, claiming that they were criminals for jeopardizing the Cathedral's security and claiming the life of the pontifex. Thankfully, both Bercouli and Fanatio had forbidden any mentioning of the catastrophe at all, especially before the two boys, in order to protect them and the order. Still, people in the Cathedral would still cast scornful looks or spiteful treatment against the two, keeping them as far away from them as they could. People who knew their true nature personally would defend the boys when encountering such hate towards them but they could never really stop it entirely. With Eugeo lacking the ability to form any emotions, remained stoic and expressionless no matter how badly others treated him and eventually he was left alone. Kirito, on the other hand, was more hot-headed, challenging anyone who dared dis him.

For the following months he lived in the Cathedral, Kirito still didn't feel like he belonged anywhere. Everywhere he goes in the white marble tower, there will always be someone pissing him off. He understood that all of these that he had to put up with was caused by the original, but the true reason behind everything was still unclear to him. Guards, nuns and some of the integrity knights living in the Cathedral would always see him with disgust, claiming that he was not fit to be someone as sacred as the integrity knights. People who knew the original personally would always see him with eyes bearing disappointment in them when he acted differently from what they had expected.

The frustrations gradually built up, a feeling of dissatisfaction he could not comprehend welled inside of him. Kirito didn't understand how Eugeo was able to put up with the same treatment he had to go through. He was annoyed that he did not react to the hate directed towards him but also gained some sort of relief from Eugeo's uncaring attitude. At least, he would treat him as an equal, acknowledging him as who he is now. And when they were both sent out on their first expedition to Dark Territory, Kirito finally found a method of relief for all of his pent up frustrations. On his very first kill, the painful screams emitted from the goblins gave him satisfaction as he imagined the faces of those who scorned him on his targets. One kill after another, blood was shed and formed puddles, he felt a rush of adrenaline, his heart beats faster, and relieving the pain he didn't know was there. After his first battle in the Dark Territory, he made up his mind. If people were to condemn him and treat him with such indifference, then he would discard his own heart and sell it off to the darkness. At least, it felt like it could lessen the pain he felt for being ostracized.