Reason To Live [COMPLETED]

Opening Up

One Year Ago

"What were your reasons this week?" Dr. Hartz asks.

Gon stops spinning in his chair. "I met my father the other day."

Dr Hartz picks up her pen. "Really?"

Gon smiles. "It was pretty awkward at first. But we ended up getting along great. He's definitely not father material, but he's a great guy."

Dr Hartz smiles. "We'll talk more on that subject later. What else?"

Gon rubs the back of his head. "Well... you, actually...."

Mallory pauses, eyes wide. Sure, she and Gon have been making a lot of progress and getting a lot closer. But she didn't expect to be one of his reasons to live. She had hoped, but with this boy's particular situation, she wouldn't have thought it would happen. It's heartwarming.

"Really?" She smiles. "That makes me happy. What other reasons?"

Present Time

"Okay..?" Killua sits down on the couch, with Kurapika between him and Gon. "What's this about?"

Kurapika sighs, glancing at Gon. Gon's looking out the window, trying to keep himself together. He doesn't want to break down in front of Killua. Not when Killua relies on him to be the calm and composed one.

"You know about... Kite, right?" Kurapika asks. Killua nods, and Gon tenses up hearing the name. "Almost exactly three years ago, he committed suicide. And before that, he and Gon were an item."

Killua's eyes widen and he looks at Gon, who's biting his lip quite harshly as he glares out the window.

Kurapika continues. "The reason I'm telling you all this is because Gon can't." He explains. Killua looks back at Pika, confused. "Gon suffered a lot that day and has hardly coped with it since. Only a handful of people know all this, and Gon wants you to be one of them. But he can't tell you himself so I am."

Killua looks back at Gon. Who stands up. "I'm gonna get a glass of water really quick. Continue." Gon says.

When Gon's left the room, Kurapika sighs. "Look, hun. Kite and Gon grew up together. He meant everything to Gon. They started dating when Gon was in fifth grade. They dated for two years before Kite killed himself. And... the day he died was January 16th."

Killua's eyes widen.

"Every year, the month of January is very hard for Gon." Kurapika explains. "When Kite died, Gon had tried to kill himself on several occasions. And after that he continued to harm himself daily. Burns, cuts, purposely falling and spraining or breaking bones. It goes on."

The thought of Gon doing that crushes Killua. He never knew... and he never would've guessed. Gon's always so happy, always smiling. To think that he...

"Gon wishes he could tell you all of this himself, but he really can't." Kurapika says this again. "It hurts him to think about Kite at all. And he's always so happy with you. Genuinely. It's been a very long time since Gon's been genuinely happy."

Killua nods. This is so much to wrap his head around. Not only that, he feels terrible looking back at things that could've reminded Gon about Kite. And then he remembers the look on Gon's face at the Theme Park the other day.

"Kurapika..?"

"Yes?"

"How did Kite... die?"

Kurapika sighs. "He jumped."

Killua's eyes widen once again. That look in Gon's eyes when Killua got off the ride... "Did Gon see it?"

"Yes. He was there at the base of the building." Kurapika nods.