The Alphabet Killer

22

-22-

NARAMDAMAN ko sa sarili ko ang panghina. Knowing the love of my life killed my mother.

Hinawakan ko ang puso ko, I felt tears started to pour down on my face. I looked at the mask

I suddenly felt my knees became like a gelatin, humawak ako sa table na nandun, may mga baril dun. So ito pala ung tinatago mo

'He was being careful, kasi ayaw niyang magkamali. He done so much that he was being so careful' biglang bumalik saakin ang sinabi ni Astrid, so this is why you are so careful

You killed a lot of people, you made me traumatize. Natakot ako na pati ako papatayin rin ng Alphabet Killer.

I grab the mask, pumunta ako sa sala, I looked at it.. How could you do this to us Auden

Mahal mo ba talaga ako? Or is it just an act. Will you kill me too?

I felt suffocated, di ako makahinga dahil sa luha na ayaw tumigil kakapatak.. Pinunasan ko ang luha ko, pero ayaw talaga niya tumigil eh..

"HONEY, I'm home. Let's go on a date na" Narinig kong sabi ni Auden. Kakapasok lang nito sa bahay..

Napahinto ito nung makita ang mata ko. "Umiyak ka ba?" Hindi ba obvious?

Lalapit na sana ito saakin, "Wag kang lalapit" Tears started to fall again. Masakit talaga eh.

Kinuha ko ung maskara at tinapon ito sakanya, I saw how he froze. Tiningnan niya ako, may takot ang mata nito. He was processing his thoughts..

"Honey, it's not what you think" Yun lang ang lumabas sa bibig niya

"You killed my mom" My voiced cracked when I said those words..

Lumakad ito palapit saakin, he tried to get my hand "Honey, please listen to me first"

"Let me explain"

Pinunasan ko ang luha ko "then explain" I cried out

"I kill people, yes. But those people are bad, honey. That's what our family do. We kill bad guys, your mom.." Di niya matapos ang sasabihin niya

"Hindi masama ang ugali ng mama ko, Auden. Alam mo un"

"Your mom, killed your own father. Ang mama mo ay leader ng mga drug addict"

Triny ulit nito na hawakan ako "wag mo kong hahawakan, please lang. Hindi ganun ang mama ko, Auden. Hindi niya kayang patayin si papa. Mahal niya si papa" Pinunasan ko uli ang luha ko na hindi na mahinto sa pagbagsak

He successfully hugged me. I cried out loud, telling him to let me go. He was also crying, I pushed him. Making him bump in to the table.

Napangiwi ito, "fuck that family thing.. I can't believe that you ruined my life."

Pinunasan nito ang luha niya, "You're the one who light up my dark world, where the killing is the only thing I do" His voice cracked when he said that

"Kaya nga hininto ko na ang pagpatay sa mga tao, kasi I'm scared that this will happen.."

Kahit masakit sa kalooban ko, gagawin ko ito. He killed my mom. The only one who was there when I'm going through ups and down.

"Let's break up" My voice cracked, I saw how tears started to flow down on his face.

He was a mess, I was a mess.. "No, please. Wag." Pagmamakaawa nito

I went upstairs, kinuha ko ang bagahe ko at inilagay ang mga damit ko, lumuhod si Auden sa harap ko. He hugged my waist.

Iyak naming dalawa ang umaalingangaw dito sa loob ng kwarto, I put my hands on my face. "Please, ayokong makipagbreak."

"Honey, I'm begging you please" Pagmamakaawa pa nito

"Let go of me, Auden" Hinawakan ko ang balikat nito, I was trying to push him off of me.

He looked up at me, maga na rin ang mga mata nito "I promise, honey. I'll be better for you. Please wag ka lang makipagbreak saakin, I fucking love you. Please" He was sounding so desperate

I just cried out loud. Can't say any words. Masakit, masakit itong desisyon ko. "Then be better by letting me go" Sabi ko dito

I successfully pushed him, I zipped up my luggage at umalis na ng kwarto, nakasunod na saakin si Auden.

I felt him grip the luggage, Hindi na niya Alam ang gagawin niya. He gave me a red tiny box

"Pag pinatawad mo na ako, wear the ring. It's supposed to be our engagement ring. Pero ngayon I want it to be our forgiveness ring..." His voice cracked once again

"I'm supposed to ask your hand in marriage, pero ito ang nangyari, this was supposed to be our happy day." He wiped his tears

Suminghot ito, he went near me. "I'm letting you go now, honey." He sadly smiled

He kissed me on my lips with so much passion and love. "I love you."

"Even if the stars and moon collide, I never want you back in my life" I finally said, I saw a glimpse of pain pero he masked it with his sad smile.

This is our last and final communication. Ayoko nang kausapin ito.. Panghihina ang nararamdaman ko, sobrang hina ko pag sakanya

I JUST saw her leave our house, bumagsak ako at umiyak ng umiyak. Bakit ngayon pa, kung kelan magpopropose na ako sakanya..

It is August 2, ngayon ko sana hihingiin ang kamay niya sa kasal. Pero bakit break ang binigay saakin?

Kinuha ko ang phone ko at dinial ang number ni Ezio. Ilang ring lang un "ano na, antagal niyo naman!" Pagrereklamo nito

Kakuntsaba ko ito, siya ang nag ayos nito eh. "Cancelled na, bro" Suminghot ako at pinunasan ang luha ko

"Anong cancelled?! Umiiyak ka ba?!" Pagaalala nito

"She broke up with me, nalaman na niya na ako ung Alphabet Killer, na ako ung pumatay sa mama niya" My voice again cracked because I'm crying to much

"Papunta na ako jan" I heard him sigh after he said that.

Pumunta ako sa kwarto namin, umupo ako sa kama. Inalala ang mga kulitan namin dito

"ANO ba, Auden!" Tumatawang sabi ni Ellouise. Tinatry nitong kumawala saakin kasi kinikiliti ko ito

She was at a corner, lumapit ako dito ng mabagal "tickle, tickle. Honey"

She almost lunged our bed pero nahawakan ko kaagad ito, I put her down on the bed at kiniliti ito. Tawang tawa ito. Dahil nga anlakas ng kiliti nito

"Tama na, Tama na" Hingal na sabi nito. Pero di ko ito tinigilan, kiniliti ko ito ng kiniliti

Kaso nakatikim tuloy ako ng sipa mula dito, nasipa niya ang chin ko making me stumble at mahulog sa kama. She gasped

"Sorry" Matinis na pagsosorry nito. "Ansakit nun ah" Tinulungan ako nitong makatayo, hinawakan ko ang likod ko

"Sorry na, masakit pa ba?" Tanong nito, tumango ako

Ngumuso ako, "kiss mo na lang ako, para mawala ung sakit"

Hinampas nito ang balikat ko at umayaw sa sinabi ko, ngumuso ako lalo at di nalang siya kinausap. Humiga ako at di siya kinausap. Tatampo ba eh.

I SMILED at that memory, feeling ko kahapon lang un eh, we were so happy.

It's not the right time siguro, I know she will study architecture. Nakita ko kasing nag take ito ng exam. Which she passed

I'm already proud of her, I love you honey.

-T.M.B-