College Fund

//What Are You Doing Up Before 12?//

After Margaux's little drama over Spencer, I started to think more about Eric and I. Did I really want to risk ending up heartbroken and looking like I took makeup advice from a raccoon like Margaux? Definitely not. Feelings were... scary. I'll pass on that, thank you very much.

Phloof. I felt a pillow bounce off my head and land on the floor. I sat up, blinking my bleary eyes.

"Morning!" Bria chirped. Nothing could force that girl into a bad mood. Not even early mornings.

"Why did u wake me up so early?" I whined as I pulled my blankets back over my head. Usually Bria and Margaux were up for a significant amount of time before I summoned the strength to leave my bed. It was a daily pattern that we had become used to, and I didn't understand why Bria had chosen today to wake me up at the same ungodly hour she always got up at.

She pulled my blankets down again. "You have your early appointment with Dr. Saunders today, remember?"

I groaned. I didn't remember, actually, and I really didn't feel like talking about my feelings so early in the morning, especially when they were in such turmoil.

"Come on sunshine, it's time to rise and shine!" Bria threw the blanket off me completely and dragged me to my feet.

Even though I really didn't want to, I figured the sooner I got going the sooner it would be over. I dragged myself to get dressed, throwing on sweatpants and a t-shirt. There was no point in looking presentable. Dr. Saunders had already seen me at one of my lowest points.

Besides our first meeting, we always met at his office. It was conveniently located within walking distance from Margaux's house. I grabbed the same sweater I had worn last night and headed towards the front door. Margaux was in the kitchen buttering her toast.

"Cassidy!" She gasped. "What are you doing up before 12?"

"Shut up," I grumbled. "I have an appointment with Dr. Saunders."

"Oh right. Well I'll see you in a bit, then." Margaux smiled.

I nodded and shuffled my shoes on. I threw open the door and started on my way down the street. Thankfully it wasn't a far walk, or else I would have terrorized more people with my unsightly bed head. To help save innocent eyes, I made the smart decision to throw my hair into a ponytail. It had grown a lot longer over the past few months since I last got it trimmed.

Within a few minutes the building I had been searching for came into view. It didn't look very desirable from the outside; just another plain brick building with dirty windows. But it was completely different on the inside.

I walked through the lobby without a second thought and climbed the stairs to the third floor. There were a dozen doors lining the hallway, and they all looked the same. The third door on the right boasted a nameplate with Dr. Saunders' name plastered on it. I debated whether I should knock first or just open it, but I decided to just twist it open.

"Cassidy!" Dr. Saunders greeted me from behind his desk with a huge smile. "Nice to see you on this fine morning."

I smiled back at him; I couldn't help it. He had that effect on people. Plus, I loved his office. His desk was facing the door, and behind his desk was a large window that was relatively clean compared to the rest of the ones in this building. My favourite part was probably all the plants he had all over the place. They were so green and happy, and they made me feel instantly relaxed.

I took a seat in the padded chair across from his desk and folded my hands before looking up at him expectedly.

"So, Cassidy, how have the past few days been? I believe this is the longest we have gone without a session."

"Well..." I thought about everything that had been going on lately, and decided to start with the biggest piece of news. "I went on a bus ride."

"Oh?" Dr. Saunders raised his eyebrow, clearly intrigued. I figured he would be surprised, considering the last time I had talked with him I had been completely against any sort of automobile. But I had done it. "And what provoked you to go onto a bus?"

I sighed. This was going to be a long story. I was going to have to figure out how to say it in as few words as possible. "My best friend's sister, Sage, I think I told you about her before, well, she was in her school play. So my... friend and I went to watch it."

Dr. Saunders nodded along. "Ah, Sage yes. So you and Margaux went to go see her play? Margaux is her sister, right?"

"Well no. I mean, Margaux is Sage's sister but she didn't go see the show. My friend Eric and I went to go see it."

"Eric?" He questioned. "I don't remember you mentioning Eric before."

"Yeah, well, any story that has Eric in it gets a thousand times more complicated the minute I mention him." I sighed. Again. I tended to sigh a lot during these appointments.

"I see. Continue."

I began to twiddle my thumbs in my lap, refusing to meet Dr. Saunders' gaze. "Right. Well, Eric and I watched Sage's play and then we really wanted to go see the Eiffel Tower because we both hadn't been there yet. But obviously it's too far to walk to, so we took the bus, and that's the end."

"I'm really glad to hear that you stepped up and faced your fear head on, Cassidy. That shows a great deal of bravery and courage. I knew you could do it, I just don't think you realized you could. Now..."

Dr. Saunders proceeded into this whole big spiel about next steps and goals for improvement and so on and so forth. I really wasn't paying attention. I was, however, interested when he handed me a notebook. It was your standard plain school notebook, with a hard cover and lined paper. He told me that I should start writing down my thoughts. Every time I felt anxious or afraid, I was supposed to write down how I felt and what was making me feel this way. He said I should do the same thing when I felt happy or excited. Then I could bring it to my appointments and we could discuss it.

It sounded sort of stupid, I'll be honest. But at the same time, I was interested in the idea. I had always enjoyed writing, and this would give me an excuse to be back into it again.

"Thanks Dr. Saunders, I really appreciate all you've done for me." I smiled at him as I took the notebook from his hands.

"Glad to see you're back to paying some attention to what I'm saying." He winked at me. "It's my pleasure, Cassidy. I'll see you in a few days. Keep up the great work."

I shook his hand and then left his office. I was feeling a lot better than when I had first walked in earlier this morning. A little more awake, a bit more energized, and feeling like I was actually starting to make some progress.