Often people of my family try and tell me that I should be greatful for my mom. But I can't help but think 'ya know it would have been awesome if she was there for as a kid and not as an adult'. Yes I love her and am happy she is here but I can't do like others and say 'hey mom remember...' The last thing I could even begin to say that to is for the last 4-5 years if that. I don't not hate her. I don't not love her either. For me it's more of a 'you somewhat have my trust, don't freakin loose it' type of thing for me.