i hooked with your mom

guys I just escaped death I swear I'm not even kidding omg- turns out the ropes pulling the lift in my apartment complex  two of out of four of them were TORN AND NOBODY FUCKING NOTICEDD!!! I honestly didn't feel anything different when I used it WHILE THE ROPES WERE TORN but then a guy knocked on my door and told me that the ropes torn and they FINALLY cut out the electricity in the lift I COULDVE DIED THIS EASY LIKEEE and guess what? they brought ppl to fix it and then NEXT MORNING THE SAME THING HAPPENED AGAIN AND NO ONE EVEN NOTICED but this time I didn't use the lift my mom did HOW R PPL HERE THIS IGNORANT SRKHJDUUDRUSRYSUDR

jus watched barbie now im a raging feminist. tho it's kinda sad patriarchy is not about men riding horses cuz that would be HOT 

OK I have no idea how that happened but- I was in a bus to a park and I swear to god I thought my Bluetooth headphones were connected I HAVE NO IDEA HOW I DIDNT NOTICE AHAUUSSU tahts not the worst part, I WAS LISTENING TO CPR BY CUPPKAKE AT THAT TIME AT FULL VOLUME (I don't listen to it normally I swear, it was ky first time listening to it) AMD THEN EVERYONE STARTED LOOKING AT ME AND I WAS LIKE WTH THEN I NOTICED THAT IT WASNT CONNECTED AND I WAS LIKE  FOR THE REST OF THE RIDE LIKE. THE WAY EVERYONE WAS LOOKING AT ME I JUST FELT HUMILIATED

just watched the human centipede one two and three, great movie, but I dont think I'm gonna be able to eat for atleast a couple weeks

guys, what if dnf announced they're dating then what? what happens next?

so my bff who i actually have a crush on, just MADE OUT WITH ME, LIKE INSERTED HIS FUCKING TONGUE IN MY MOUTH as a joke, yes, as A JOKE NO IM NOT OK

Paste✨this✨on the✨ten✨nicest✨people's✨profiles✨and✨if✨you✨get✨ten back✨you are✨really✨special✨
          I love you comments btw :P

uh.. hello? i have the nuclear bombs you ordered.

My names darryl istg✋️

GUYS "I WANT TO DIE" IS RANKED 269 ON "DIE"
          LETS FUCKING GOOOOO