hanjisungs-hotasfuck

They expect me to go home after being at school all day and clean up their messes and every friday im expected to watch thei kid who btw is spoiled af and throws a fit everytime shes told no 
          
          I have never liked kids and indont have the patience to deal with tenper tantrumthis may make me sound shitty but like insaid i just dont have the energy to care or try anymore
          
          
          I watch their kid i keep her alove and i take care of her. Its not her fault shesbused to getting what she wants but she has learned that i dont put up with it if she yells or fights with me she knows i want cave in
          And trust there is so much more shit
          
          Its so fucking much put onto me i cant hold it all......
          
          I need a day where i can be my true self freely, not feel judged or have any worries 

So my family is starting to know something is off with me
          Apparently i have been alot more quiet
          
          And honestly i have
          Its bc i have given up tryna be something i dont have the energy or mental capacity to be anymore
          For a lot of reasons. Some have to do with my previous notes there r other things to do.
          
          Its just difficult every1 treats like im a fragile girl and will break any moment and some im other being treated as some1 whose stupid.
          
          Plus theres some rly unfairn treatment between me and the other kids
          Like my sister gets so much help with her college and shes been in itnfor a week.
          This is my 2nd semester and i am expected to take the bus tonand from meaning i have to wake up early and try toncatchbit. If i miss it then i ask for a ride even then they act like i dont care much and am just straight up lazy.
          But she gets ride to and from her school. They even gave her money to help
          Dont get me wrong im not upset they gave her money i have a scholarship but its difficult to handle a job and schoolnat the same time when i gotta take the bus. I plan on getting a car in abt a month or so and then a job. But i cant buy snacks or something to hold me until 7 when i get home bc i want the money to go to a car and my its fuckin with my appetite like i just dont want to eat at all the insecurities arent helping with it either.
          
          
          So i mean yeah i just dont have the space and energy to be the upbeat jokster person they want
          Im drained... like rly drained
          

twinnnn just texting so u can recognize me cuz i even changed my name🥹✌🏻

bro i love your username frrr and your discription

My family has started to notice that ig im not the same as i am like i havent been talki g or telli g jokes as much ig i havent been boosting the mood
          But it genuinely had been taking a lot of energy for me to boost their moods. Like i need my mood boosted i cant always be there to match the vibe....
          Ik im gonna switch to one of the big fancy colleges and hopefully i get the same recognition that my sister is getting but rn they dont rly care bc  i am going to a community its like they think im dumb Since i was little every1 treated my like i was slow and stupid bc i had rly bad ADD its not as bad as when i was young like i can maintain it but every1 thinks im stupid and have a mearning disability it fucking hurts to be treated as different and "not normal"
          I also have rly bad insecurities and i went to the dr abt 3 days ago she told me i have gained weight and need to lose it. So basically being called fat while i am insecure was a punch to the gut I wear oversized clothing bc i hate my body. I cant get in a relationship no1 wants to date me my sisters have been in some and currently have bfs and i just eanna know what its like tk feels special and loved like that they always say "u dont want it trust its painful" but they have t been in .y position always eatching every1 feel loved and have that special some1 while im on the sidelines its rly hurts and messes with .y insecurities so much more than any1 can imagine
          
          Im skrry if this is difficult to read with all the typos i was crying a bit while typing this 
          Also yall do t have to read this its just so.ething i have been needing tk say
          
          Theres so much more adding on to all this but those r the main points of my depression lately ig im sorry

So.... i know i told yall i was fine. 
          I still am i think like i havent done anything ely bad but my brain is just all over the place rn
          Like i start college up again tmr and im not going to like a big fancy college im going to a community colleg. My suster is at a big fancy college and i think every1 is like way more prud of her
          Im kinda jealous like i have worked my ass kff the get good grade and look so smart but i never get the attention i rly crave for. Im only seen as the "funny outgoing happy kid" and every1 in my famkly is knkw for their talents and brains... And i just want tl be noticed for aomething im rly good at and rly smart at doing and tbh it rly fuckin hurts that they only see me as the clumsy funny kid like when some1 sees art supplies they think of my younger sister, when some1 sees a nurse thing they think of my youngest sister or when they see books they think of my older. But the only time they think of me is when some1 falls or does something goofy and i laugh abt it but im actually fucking hurt. Also abt 2 weeks ago i had lost on of my longest friends like she didnt die but she had done something i could never agree with and i had to unfriend her and that fucking hurt so bad she knew abt the abuse i went thru and everyrthing so unfriending her was like a stab to the gut. Added ontop of that yesterday i had hung out with my other longest friends and it just didnt feel right.... our vibe has been vanishing and i cant tell we are growing distance which is slowly killing me

Yall have no idea how much i love SEUNGBIN 
          
          Like their dynamic is just so adorable 
          
          Sry i was watching edits of them on tiktok and had to share my adoration for them TvT

Every1 in my house keeps asking me if im ok.....
          Apparently its bc i havent been talking or being as "funny" as i usually am....
          
          Like homie..... i just havent had anythin to say wtf.....
          
          Sorry if i cant always boost the mood ig TvT

Yo dudeskis i need some minsung fanfic recs
           
          PLZ 3RD PERSON I CANT DO 1ST PERSON 
          
          
          PRETTY PLZ I CANT FIND ANY IM IN THE MOOD TO READ

RANDOM QUESTION, WHICH YEAR WERE YOU BORN IN??