head-of-lettuce

I feel like all the nice, genuine, things I say are worthless. Hardly anyone ever really seems to appreciate them and the one I want to appreciate them the most brushes them off most times. The kind, loving words I say to express my true feelings and show them how much I care must not mean much. Either that or I don’t mean much to them. I’m thinking the latter… Maybe both… Ah well…

ryaish

@head-of-lettuce Hey!! Are you okay?
Reply

head-of-lettuce

I feel like all the nice, genuine, things I say are worthless. Hardly anyone ever really seems to appreciate them and the one I want to appreciate them the most brushes them off most times. The kind, loving words I say to express my true feelings and show them how much I care must not mean much. Either that or I don’t mean much to them. I’m thinking the latter… Maybe both… Ah well…

ryaish

@head-of-lettuce Hey!! Are you okay?
Reply

head-of-lettuce

Love seems like a joke to me, right now. Does it even matter when the one you love isn’t completely happy with you?
          
          It seems like the more I love someone, the more they feel the need to destroy me. If they wanna tear my heart out, they can do it already. It’s already dead, anyway. It’s been through too much hurt to still be alive.
          
          I’m waiting for something to shock it back to life.

CatAstrophe2017

I get that so well. I’m sorry we haven’t talked in a while :( I missed you dude!!! 
Reply

head-of-lettuce

Another poem. Writing these keep me alive:
          
          Anxiously waiting… Never a good feeling… Is this the end…? No answer ‘til then… Anxiously waiting… Can’t dream of hoping… Beautifully failing… Can’t dream of winning… Hopelessly trying… Can’t dream of living… this way anymore… There’s death’s door… Should I walk through…? Maybe it’ll be better when I do… Of course I won’t… but… if I don’t… does my suffering continue on…? Will all my plain really end if I’m gone…? Does pain really go…? Or does it only pass on to someone else I know…? I don’t want them to hurt, like I do… Because they love me and I love them too…

FriendlyDragon478

I'M RESPONDING HERE IDGAF:
          
          (Bruh XD
          
          Do you still want to read my story? I hadn't gotten the chance to yet but I'm about to post it. 
          
          Fine!! XD
          
          UGH I CAN'T MESSAGE AGAAAIIINNN!!!
          
          *does Pennywise dance into your room while "sleepwalking" and lightly punches you in the face before leaving*)
          
          Well... I guess... But not tonight... I'm gonna be going to sleep... I was trying to say that but Wattpad's being a pain in my butt, so...

head-of-lettuce

A mini poem of my feelings, right now. Some lines rhyme, some don’t. Some have rhythm, some don’t. It’s symbolic of how chaotic my life is… This is NOT a peom to encourage self-harm, but just to share what’s been inside of my mind so I can vent somehow…
          
          Barely breathing… barely holding on…
          So much chaos… so much stress…
          So many things said and done
          But do they only help make the situation worse…? How do you “make it all better” when the only things you know will make it better make it worse…?
          “Cut deep… deeper… more… ‘til it’s deep enough…” my brain says to me…
          Each time deeper than the last because the pain’s never the same…
          Old Scars… New… what are they for…?
          To mask my emotional pains…?
          To give me something that hurts more…?
          I know it’s not rational…
          It’s just makes it worse…
          Fighting pain with pain never works, but… at the time… always seem to be the answer… somehow…
          So confusing…
          But so painfully true, right now…
          
          If I sound depressed af, it’s because I am… Living on the edge is what I do, nowadays…
          
          (Fuzzyhead, if you see this, don’t worry)

head-of-lettuce

@FriendlyDragon478 I was feeling reeeeeally down that day…
Reply

FriendlyDragon478

VAG- WHOA NEVER MIND XDDD

FriendlyDragon478

@head-of-lettuce Yes, but you did it for me XDD
Reply

head-of-lettuce

@FriendlyDragon478 WERE YOU ABOUT TO SCREAM VAGINA ON MY BOARD? XDDD
Reply