I'm going to try not to make this sound like a journal entry and remind myself that actual humans are going to read this. Hi. It's been a long time. I can't bare to write another personal update that explains why I've been gone, mostly because in all the time that's passed, I'm sad I ran from writing instead of turning toward it and using it for the better.
Anyway, I come bringing good and bad news. Maybe just news. You decide.
I want to write again. And even just typing those words has made my chest tighten. I've gone through waves of thinking that my writing isn't good enough, to telling myself I want to be a serious author one day. But the biggest pill I've had to swallow is that I can't actually be a writer if I don't ... you know ... write.
To be honest, I have written some stuff. Chunks and chapters of book ideas that I haven't given me the stamina yet. I'm not going to make promises of an upload schedule. I'm actually not making any promises. I couldn't open this app/website for months but tonight I took that first step. I'm considering this post, my second.
And maybe no one will care about this update because I am one of thirty authors you tried to read and don't care. Maybe no response will take pressure off me to write for the sake of writing. Or maybe a few people will care, and tell me that they care, and it will motivate me to write even more because there is a demand, even a small one. I genuinely don't know. Even these 1500 words are more than I've written in months. I don't know. All I know is I want to try again. And if I'm lucky, something will come of it. Something I can be proud of.
