thegroupofidiots

I want to socialise with a human please
          

Pineapple on pizza sucks
          It's okay if you like it, but that doesn't mean I won't judge you 
          

who wants a girlfriend? I have the perfect candidate for you

It's been a while since a shared qa joke with you guys. So, here's a joke:
          
          A nun, a priest, an Irishman, a Scotsman, a rabbi and a blonde walk into a bar.
          The bartender looks at them and asks, "Is this some kind of joke?"

I found this joke and wanted to share it with you all:
          
          A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, 'Dad'. With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands.
          
          Dear, Dad. It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mum and you.
          
          I've been finding real passion with Stacy. She is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing's, tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am.
          
          But it's not only the passion, Dad. She's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.
          
          Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.
          
          In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so that Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!
          
          Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your many grandchildren.
          
          Love, your son, Joshua.
          
          P.S . Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Jason's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that's on the kitchen table. Call when it is safe for me to come home!

I have you ever been swimming and thought what if a shark eats me? Fear not cause here are some tips to survive a shark attack.
          *How to survive a shark attack*
          1: Don't swim in the ocean. 
          Ninety-nine percent of all shark attacks take place in exceptionally large bodies of water also known as oceans. The way to determine if you are currently in an ocean is to taste the water, which should be salty. 
          
          2: Listen out for the music. 
          In the event that you are foolish enough to swim in an ocean, listen carefully for the music, as demonstrated in the marvellous documentary film Jaws. All shark attacks are preceded by the "daah-da , daah-da " chords, which will gradually become more rapid as the shark gets closer. This is due to the Doppler Effect. 
          
          3: Swim with fat people. 
          Try to surround yourself with more appetizing companions. If you know them well, you might even try to switch their suntan lotion with Steak Sauce. This will definitely improve your odds. 
          
          4: Don't go into the water without a knife. 
          This is not to defend yourself but to stab the person (a.k.a the decoy) closest to you in the case of a shark attack. Once you are sure the "decoy" is bleeding profusely.....swim for your freekin life. 
          
          5: Don't panic. 
          In the event that a shark actually bites you, try to remain calm. This really won't help you survive, but everyone else on the beach will appreciate you not shrieking madly, as this is quite unsettling.

Here’s another joke:
          I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Joseph, the 14 year old next door whose bedroom looks like Mission Control, and asked him to come over.
          
          Joseph clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.
          
          As he was walking away, I called after him, "So, what was wrong?"
          
          He replied, "It was an ID ten T error."
          
          I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, "An ID Ten T error?
          
          What's that? In case I need to fix it again."
          Joseph grinned, "Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?"
          
          "No", I replied.
          
          "Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out."
          
          So I wrote down: I D 1 0 T
          
          I used to like that little boy.

Now that everyone can see my post. I’ll just post jokes.
          So there's a man and a woman in a bar and the man turns to the woman and says "Hey, I've got this magic water that can make me fly." Then the woman says "I don't believe you. Show me."
          So the man downs a magic water and gets on the top of the roof, jumps off, and flies back on. The woman says "Wow! Do that again!"
          And so the man goes back downstairs to drink another magic water, gets back on the roof, jumps off, flies back on. The woman says
          "Whoa! I gotta try that for myself!" The woman goes downstairs, asks the bar tender for some magic water, drinks it, gets on the roof, jumps off, and dies.
          
          When the man comes back downstairs the bar tender says to him,
          "You know Super Man, you're a real jerk when you're drunk."

Hiiiii!

Thaankx for da follow!!❤
          Haave a peaceful day/nyt:)(: