A/N: Yeontan, honey ILY but it's time to MOVE OVER ^
In celebration of this baby getting a #1 in namjoonff ;-;
I was not in a good place mentally so I let this chapter sit in my drafts for a while, not bothering to update. But I saw a couple of new readers, shoutout to y'all <3 This one's for you.
Take care of yourself and enjoy this verbal diarrhea of mine.
Love,
MsNoShelfControl.
As soon as the door closed behind him, I ignored the searing ache in every cell of my body and threw off the bed covers, planting my bare legs on the wooden floor as firm as I could. It was warmer than I expected, but I felt my stomach knot at the sight of the white gauze wrapped firmly around both my feet.
Swallowing the nausea that arose from the memories of what was underneath the gauze, I moved to stand, leaning a shaky arm on the wall beside me. I couldn't help but wince as I felt the cuts awaken from their momentary slumber at the pressure of my weight on them.
It didn't take long before the sting faded and I moved across the room towards the closed door by the closet with a habitual ease.
After all, pain was my ultimate lover and was as familiar to me as my own name.
I didn't know what I was expecting but the bathroom's neat and comfortable vibe took me by surprise. It wasn't as spacious as mine was, but had enough room that I didn't feel boxed in. The walls were the color of ivory accompanied by grey tiled floors with a soothing coldness that kissed my stinging feet.
The wall adjacent to the door was filled up by a mirror and a counter top with a white cabinet below the latter. The only spark of color was that of the plants placed next to the mirror, two of them looking happy and literally blooming. The potted plant on the right corner of the counter had large and wide leaves with a fascinating white variegation that took over almost 80% of the leaves, giving it a robust sophistication, meanwhile the dainty purple orchids hanging from the left corner above contrasted its partner, making a perfect pair.
With a start, the realization hit me that in order to admire the plants, facing my reflection in the mirror was unescapable. I cringed at the sight.
It was clear that the real contrast in here was the stark lack of vigor in me in the face of the flourishing foliage.
The girl staring back at me in the looking glass was just as washed out as the walls behind her, dark circles and heavy bags underneath her eyes that held no spirit in them, completely lackluster. Her hair was a thickly matted mess hanging limply over her shoulders and it felt itchy like it hadn't been washed in days. The thick, oversized grey sweater hanging loosely off of her frail frame making her look even more feeble.
The more I stared, the less I recognized her. It felt as if she was imitating my mannerisms in cruel mockery of the broken creature I've become.
How did I come to this?
I questioned myself as if I didn't know.
But I did remember. I remembered it all. The citrusy scent on the sheets, the little too firm touches on my skin, the ugly streaks of paint over the innocent white canvases, and even the culmination of whispered words that had finally given me the courage to listen to the voices in my head.
"You're too infatuated with your sadness to be capable of real love."
I felt the vortex of pain spread even wider inside me, like an insatiable beast feeding off of the little energy I'd gained from the kindness of the stranger who deluded himself into thinking he saved me.
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Where We Begin & End II K.N.J II
Fanfiction"Before you go, at least let me steal your story." Kang Ji-eun had given up on everything, including herself. So when she finds herself on a literal edge with an eccentric stranger at her back during one stormy night, she has no choice but to wonde...
