a dance?

Fifteen - Renee

Fifteen - Renee

I burst through the door, as grandma smiles proudly at me: "I told you she would come around with my iced tea," My father looks relieved and my mother follows my movements. I walked to the dining table and placed the iced tea. "Sorry, I had made a new friend at the cafe and we talked for what seemed like a long time, hehe," I say, scratching my neck and trying to hide my disbelief at the previous events. "Renee, please don't apologize, we're just glad you're home alright?" My father informs me, this makes my thoughts at ease. "Who's this good friend you made?" Grandma inquired. "Oh, her name is Jasmine, and she was the one who gave me a straw for my caramel frappe," I said, feeling proud of meeting her. "Ah, the caramel frappe never gets old." My mother applauds. The room is filled with the scent of iced tea.

"Thank you, Renee. This tastes so good." Grandma compliments once she takes a sip. I curtsey and walk to my room. I close the door and try my best not to burst out sobbing. It was seriously hard to tell him, but I didn't know how to deal with my feelings. It wasn't supposed to come out like that, however, it was too late.

Someone knocks on the door, "Renee, please open the door-" I open the door slightly, to my mother coming inside. "Aw, baby, come here," and she pulls me into a hug, while I let out quiet sobs. "Let it all out, whenever you're ready you can tell me. Or you don't have to tell me at all," She says, making me laugh while I cry, but I want to tell her so badly.

I rub my eyes, while she gets a hold of my shoulders. "Oh, my strong baby, -" This made me sit down, and ask her to sit down by me. "What are pa and grandma doing?" I ask, "Ma is standing by the side of your father, observing his cooking skills. He was willing to cook today, so I am thrilled to see how that goes. Plus, it's going to make you feel better no matter what." She's right, but the thought of pa cooking while grandma is watching makes me laugh louder, papa isn't an expert, nor a beginner, but his skills of grasping new concepts are fascinating.

My mother's face changes from soft, to frown, to soft while I tell her what happened with Valerio. I somehow accomplish not letting out another round of sobs, in the end- I am not sure what I feel anymore. I can't look at my mother's eyes, that's how guilty I feel. I want to think my mother's eyes are burning at me, but all she does is place her hand on top of mine. I gradually look at her: "Love, just because I told you to be cautious, doesn't mean you have to avoid him." Wait, what?

"Ma, this wasn't easy at all-" I stretched the sentence. "I know, I know." She rubs my hand with her thumb. "I think you got the wrong idea," She said. She's sitting with her back straight and she's smiling like she's about to take me stargazing or take me out to do something fun. "Oh, please tell me," I say sarcastically. When in reality, my ears are interested.

"When you feel something for someone, you have to put that first. It doesn't matter if the person is your neighbor or is an actor or any of the sort. I suppose what you said back there was to make it easier for the both of you and not be of any distraction?" She says, reading me like a paper. "Mhm, but it's only harder," I admit. "You're scared. You're scared because this-" "sounds wrong, but feels right," I finish my mother's sentence.

"Do you like him?" She starts from the basics. I nod without hesitation. "There's this quote, I am not sure where I have read it, but it's definitely worth the shot." She clears her throat and pretends like she's recalling the quote. "If you love someone, let them know, you never know what tomorrow holds." My mother speaks in her poet's voice. She's now standing up like she's in front of an audience. I applaud, she sits back down- "I don't want to go that fast you know? I feel like there's a lot within him I want to unfold." I tell my mother, "Don't you know him fairly well through his music, interviews, and the internet?"

That's a valid reason, "However when you see them face to face, their real personality kicks in." I say, sounding like a poet now. "Wise words from my daughter." She agrees.

"Well then, learn how to take it slow, and listen to your feelings. When you feel like you're ready to let him know how you feel, go for it. Don't run away, nor avoid them. Take your experience into a life lesson. Learn from it, you are a confident woman. I know you know what's right for you. You just need the engine attached to your car." My mother advises me. I nod every time she pauses at the end of a sentence. I take it all in and repeat it once more so it sticks in my head.

"What about me being cautious?" I wonder, "Don't worry about that just yet. Focus on what's in front of you, and what's in front of you is your love for Valerio and probably vice versa." My mother knows her words.

"Alas, Gabriel!" Grandma cries, "This is a historical moment, God bless you!" She speaks with delight. I get up to see what pa and grandma are feeling euphoric about, but my mother says one last thing to me. "Don't let others' opinions bring you down on how you feel, or anything at all okay? If your heart says to go for it, walk with power." She says, and I swear I am going to imprint this on my soul. I nod and give her a tighter hug. "Thank you ma," I breathe out. "My sweet and spirited daughter." She says, cupping my cheeks and giving a kiss on my forehead.

We walk to the dining table, where my father is decorating the table with aromatic food. "C'est ouah!" My mother and I say, blowing a kiss to the air. "HAHAHA!" My father laughs out humbly, somewhere deep inside him, he feels proud, and so are we. "Come have a seat."

I am gobbling the quesadillas one by one, my father is asking me to go slow, my mother is putting others first, while my grandma is making sure my mother eats as well. While I am munching, "Pa, this tastes delicious!" "Woah, Renee, you sure do feel good eh?" My father teases me. "Yeah, honey you've put in all your love and hard work in it," My mother says, allowing my father's cheeks to turn into a rose pink. "Well, my mother defi-" "Oh stop," Grandma slaps his hand, "Anita's right, now stop being modest and take compliments." Grandma makes all of us laugh.

After a long chat about anything and everything, I yawn. "Aw, someone's feeling sleepy," My father teases me, tickling me. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" My laugh echoes the living room. My father tries to carry me like a child, "C'est ouah!" he winks, and I chuckle softly. "Oye, stop teasing my grandchild, when will you realize that she isn't ten anymore?" Grandma pulls my father's leg (not literally) "Ma, even you treat her like she's ten, you give her the comforter, tell her little stories while she's in bed..." He says, making grandma giggle with accomplishment.

"Oh sweetie, a paper's fallen from your cardigan." Grandma points at a small piece of paper on the floor. Jasmine gave that to me before she left. I wonder what's written on it.

I open the paper, "Ooh, it sounds like a number." My father peeks into the small piece. "Honey, you're on fire with making fun of our baby don't you?" My mother sits on the couch near us, "She's always going to be my small baby, darling." My father responds, making my mother blush.

My father's right, it's a number. Valerio's number.